By Michael Lee
Author of How to Be an Expert Persuader
In today's world, there is absolutely no room anymore for shrinking violets. You have to know how to have great self confidence, put yourself out there, shine a spotlight on yourself, and astound the world with your presence. This isn't a problem for people who are brimming with self esteem, but what about those who have yet to figure out how to have great self confidence?
It's no big mystery and isn't really something that's programmed into people's chromosomes from birth - it can be cultivated. For all you know, that cool and assured person you've been admiring had to work hard to conquer his shyness.
It usually starts with possessing a healthy amount of self esteem. If you don't know the good qualities you possess, or if you don't believe you have anything worthwhile to offer the world, how can you move forward to success? Here are some tips to help you build your confidence level.
Great Self Confidence Booster #1: Pump Up Your Self Esteem
Start out by assessing yourself. Be honest and brave enough to take a look at yourself; find out who you are and where you presently are in life. But don't start giving negative reviews of yourself.
Learn to have self discipline and silence your inner critic. Stop listening to that little voice of doubt that says you're not good enough or that other people are better than you. Tune in to thoughts that cheer you on and tell you exactly what you're good at. If you feel like focusing on your negative aspects, exercise self control and don't let yourself be overcome with despair. Use this opportunity to figure out how you can improve - and trust me, you can do better.
An important step is for you to take stock of your achievements. What have you accomplished in life? What kind of work are you good at? Do you have any talents or special skills? Answering these questions will give you a better sense of certainty about your abilities and will help you start thinking that, yes, you do have many fine qualities.
Great Self Confidence Booster #2: Overcome Shyness
Shyness prevents you from letting people see the real you, because you're afraid to say or do the wrong thing or to appear awkward. The problem is, by being shy and hanging back from the rest of the crowd, you're already projecting yourself as awkward. Take a look again at the first tip and give yourself a dose of self esteem by reminding yourself of your good traits.
Overcoming shyness doesn't mean that you have to start trying to dominate conversations or hog all the attention. You have to show respect, empathy, and recognition to others. All you need to do is emerge from your shell and be alert; always open yourself to interact with people. Always show your enthusiasm and radiate optimism, and you will naturally attract people's attention.
If someone approaches you, you don't have to look down at your feet or mumble inaudibly. Don't focus on how painfully shy you think you are and just listen to what the other person has to say. Believe it or not, there will be people out there who will have something interesting to say; they will then get you to share your views and ideas. Once you start talking and expressing yourself, then you've already taken a major step on having great self confidence.
Great Self Confidence Booster #3: Get Out There and Just Do It
Many of us don't think we are capable of doing the things we want because we're not sure about ourselves. Again, there's the dreaded voice of doubt. What you want is to be fearless enough so you'll be able to tackle all the things you've ever dreamed of doing.
Fear of failure is a big factor in the crumbling of our self-confidence, and this same fear is caused by our insistence on focusing on the negative side of things. True, it's never a bad thing to be cautious whenever we're thinking of new ventures, adventures, and activities, but too much caution will paralyze us, making us unable to take action.
So why not start thinking positively? Think hard about what you want to do. Join activities that may enhance your leadership and teamwork skills. If you stumble over any doubts or possible problems that will come up, don't immediately say, "I can't do it." Just imagine ways that will help you work around those problems.
Don't just second-guess your plans. Trust in your abilities and the fact that you can bounce back from any situation. That's already a big bonus. An even bigger plus for you is when you actually follow your dreams and achieve your goals, which would even make you feel confident that you can do anything.
Great Self Confidence Booster #4: Dress for Success
Shallow? Not really. You know how there are certain accessories or outfits that make you feel like a million bucks? This works the same way. Instead of putting on clothes that only make you feel drab and dull, choose the very things that make you stand out and feel special. It all starts in how you feel; and if you feel good about yourself, you will really act more confidently (and intelligently) throughout the day.
There are more ways on how to have great self confidence, but these are just some easy tactics for you to try. Building it may be a challenge for some, but just trust yourself and don't let doubt gnaw at you. With a little effort, you'll be shining brightly along with the best of people, so get to work!
Michael Lee is the author of the highly acclaimed How To Be An Expert Persuader... In 20 Days or Less. It reveals mind-altering persuasion secrets to greatly enhance your relationships, boost your career and business, and persuade anyone to willingly and eagerly do what you want... without them knowing it.
Edited by: Lawyer Asad