For the longest time, I thought I knew what it took to make
women laugh. I thought I knew how to be funny to girls, that I knew all of the jokes they wanted. I thought all women wanted was the same kinds of jokes that men did.
You know, the sarcastic wit and ironic punch lines that all guys like. Comedy is supposed to be universal after all, right?
As I looked around at the guys that were getting girls, I was noticing that the guys, in most cases, didn't need to have a great sense of humor. Or even be funny at all.
The *secret* was something else completely.
(**Hint**: They just knew how to "escalate"):
Oh and as to what do women find funny?
I sought to answer this question several years ago by reading
countless books. And a common one then was one by David D himself,
who came up with the C&F technique a.k.a. being cocky-funny;
using a barrage of sarcasm to "bullying" women into liking you.
It made sense to me at the time, so I tried it out.
I ended up getting a few women to like me using this approach.
Since it seemed to be working, I tried to use this on every woman I saw.
What I learned was that the women I was using this strategy on were the more "tomboy" side of the group, the girls who are generally more masculine.
While that's all well and good, what occurred to me was that, by only attracting this small minority of women, I was leaving a huge percentage of women still on the table.
Right off the bat, by using this method, most women hated me.
I needed to change things up.
That's when I started to focus on watching my friend Will.
Will is not who I'd call the wittiest or funniest guy around, but he always seemed to have a great rapport with women. Girls were always around him, maybe not rolling on the ground in stitches, but always with a playful smile on their face.
What was his secret?
Watching him, I realized that he had what I'd like to call a "playground" or "fourth grade" sensibility when it came to humor.
He would tell knock-knock jokes, or playfully tickle the girls.
Instead of being the greatest comic of all time, he was just out there having fun with the girls, and that's what they were responding to.
And that's when it hit me:
Girls don't want funny, they want FUN.
A simple process for making girls laugh
Look around for a moment and realize what girls are laughing at.
They're not heading out to the latest dark indie movie or listening to the new Louis CK album.
(If they are, good for them, but this is a rare thing.)
They're going out to the latest romantic comedy and having a
good time. There's a reason romantic comedies are geared
towards a female audience. That's what they respond to!
In the same way, don't let your humor be too sophisticated or
clever. It'll just look like you're trying too hard and girls don't respond to guys who are out there trying to act "cool".
They respond to guys who are just being themselves.
Especially if they themselves are fun.
Think about it: If you tell a hard-to-follow joke to a girl, she will sit there for a moment confused, trying to figure out your joke. That moment of her figuring-it-out, even if it's a
great joke, is a moment that takes her out of the moment.
She just wants to respond to the fun that you're exuding, not worry about whether or not she's getting the joke.
Again fun, NOT funny.
Playground humor never gets old. Just imagine you're two fourth-graders out on the playground at recess. Back then it was just about simple jokes and having a fun time. This is the kind of atmosphere you want to provide for the girl.
The "mouse race"
One of my favorite ways to bring about this playground sensibility is a little bar game called the "mouse race".
Simply take a pen and put it on a girl's arm. Explain to her that
you are going to show her a race between three mice. Say "and
here goes the blind mouse, so tell him when you want him to stop."
Immediately, start drawing up her arm. Obviously, she'll tell the mouse to stop right away - she doesn't want an arm full of ink, after all - so stop. Follow this up by having the
"dumb mouse" race.
Using the same process, have her tell you when he should stop.
Start drawing and, once again, she'll immediately tell you to stop. Finally, it's time to race the "deaf mouse". Start drawing up her arm and, once again, she'll tell you to stop.
But this time, don't. Instead continue drawing up her arm.
If she gets the joke, she should start laughing at this silly, stupid little joke. The point isn't that it's funny, but that it's fun. And if she doesn't understand the joke, let her know.
"Deaf mice can't hear you tell them to stop!" She'll start laughing at both the stupidity of the joke and that she wasn't able to put that together on her own. And then, you're off.
Lame? Who cares, as long as it works :)
Remember: Fun... NOT funny.
Adopted from writings of Simon H.
Edited by: Lawyer Asad