We all know about how-to, DIY, books for dummies, whatever you want to call them, pieces of literature. Many have proven to be extremely helpful, such as those dealing with computer programming or doing something simple such as knowing how to prepare a great Italian dinner for your family.
With censorship out the window and freedom of speech blowing in, anyone can publish whatever they want. Whether you see this as a good or bad thing, there have most definitely been some pretty weird books that have been put in the reach of society's hands.
Here are the top 10 strangest how-to books that will most definitely leave you thinking "why?"
And yes, all of these books are real books and can be purchased at Amazon.
10. How to Steal a Dog
Stealing dogs has never been so good! If you're a cheapo who is looking to steal away man's best friend, choose this how-to.
Maybe you want a free dog, steal one! Though stealing a dog will probably get you put into prison. If you're that lonely and that in need of someone, or something to talk to, just take a dog, the original owner will understand!
9. How to Make a Dirty Movie
Oh honey don't worry, I'm just reading about how to make a dirty movie... What?! Wouldn't it be more precise to watch how to make a dirty movie? If you don't know how to make a dirty movie, that might tell you something, or a few things. But let's not go there. I guess some people just aren't romantic or errr... that perverted? Whichever you think fits best.
8. How to be a Pope
I hope that this book was written by an ex-Pope, but it probably wasn't, seeing as how writing about how to be a pope is probably a sin in one way or another. Anyone who is reading about how to be a pope, shouldn't be a pope in the first place. Those who are destined to live in the Vatican generally know what they're duties will be as a pope while they are archbishop or something.
7. How to Break the Cycle of Life and Death
Now... maybe I'm not religious enough, or maybe I think too much, something, but who in their right mind believes that they can actually live forever? There isn't a cycle to break. Life has a beginning, and an end. Maybe an afterlife, no one is too sure, but a book about how to be immortal? Interesting, to say the least.
6. How to Raise and Keep a Dragon
I'm sure this would be a great book, if dragons really existed. Maybe they live and exist inside of your imagination, but not in mine. Besides, who'd want to keep an animal that can literally open its mouth and blowtorch you to death? I'd gladly pass on that option. If you ever cross paths with a dragon, find this book.
5. How to Start Your Own Country
If there is anyone, that has enough time and money to invest in starting his/her own country, I'd love to meet him/her. Even better, I'd love to meet the person that sat down and had enough time to write a book surrounding the idea of creating a country. For one, a country isn't "created" by just one person; and two, land is always readily available, the only part that is started is a name.
4. How to Pee Standing Up
Apparently, being a girl and being able to pee while standing up is "hip." I didn't know women were looking to be more like men. I thought that whole individualism thing was still alive and well today. Would feminists frown or be happy about this book? Peeing standing up gives us one more privilege a man has!
3. How to Speak Cat
Speaking cat isn't hard, mainly because cats generally don't listen. Who'd invest their time trying to understand an animal that isn't even seen most of the time? If you wanted to understand all of the different mews and sounds that come from your cat's mouth, this is the book for you. Maybe you can even talk back…
2. How to Survive a Robot Uprising
This seems like a useless book to me. In order for robots to rise up, they'd need to have some sort of control. However, those little things called remote controls, come very in handy to control a robot. Surviving a robot uprising would include the click or switch of a button. Tough! I guess if you're a sci-fi kinda guy you'd enjoy this book.
1. How to Become a Schizophrenic
I didn't know people actually could, and would want to "become" schizophrenic. Nothing like being able to allow yourself to become one who hears voices. However, I guess, maybe, it's something worth experiencing. Who knows. On the brighter side, this book does provide many theories as how one becomes a schizophrenic.
Edited by: Lawyer Asad