Monday, December 31, 2012

Two Questions You Should Ask Yourself Every Morning

Two Questions You Should Ask Yourself Every Morning

Greg McKeown


I recently spoke at a conference in Silicon Valley and I was pleased to
stay for the rest of the event afterwards. The final speaker, Connie
Podesta, said something which struck my curiosity. She said, "I am going to
share the two most important questions you will ever answer. If you answer
no to either of them I will know some things about you. I will know you are
more stressed than you need to be. I will know you are unhappier than you
need to be." She had my attention.

Here are the two questions:


#1 Are you proud of the choices you are making at work?


#2 Are you proud of the choices you are making at home?


We might feel tempted to push these questions aside as being overly
simplistic. Yet, as Oliver Wendell Holmes is credited with saying, "I
wouldn't give a fig for simplicity on this side of complexity but I'd give
my right arm for simplicity on the other side of complexity."

One reason these questions strike me as simplicity on the other side of
complexity is they remind us to pay attention to our current choices rather
than our current results. Our results, whether we are currently
experiencing success or failure, can be misleading because they happen
after the fact. They are lag indicators. Consider how these questions can
help:

In Times of Failure.There are clearly times when things are not going as we
want them at work or at home. We could complain about this. We could make a
fuss. We could become discouraged. Yet, if we ask these two questions every
morning we can focus our energy on the choices we can make. Messed up
something? Fine. We can get back on track. We can ask whether we are proud
of the choices we are making now.

In  Times of Success. Success can be a poor teacher. It can teach us to
under invest in the things which generated the success in the first place. I
have argued this more fully in a piece for Harvard Business Review where I
intentionally overstate the case in order to make it: success can be a
catalyst for failure. We can begin to coast along and in the very moment of
our greatest outward achievements we can make choices which undermine our
future success.

In Rudyard Kippling's beautiful poem "If" he brings together both of these
scenarios when he penned counsel to his son:

"If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same..."

Kippling cautions his son to distrust both success (triumph) and disaster
(failure) as imposters. He warns him both are deceptive.

Asking these two questions and becoming more deliberate in our choices can
seem like a small thing in the moment. Sometimes we feel we are too busy
living to really think about life. Yet failure to reflect on these
questions could contribute to a life of regrets. Indeed, an Australian
nurse, Bronnie Ware, cared for people in the last 12 weeks of their lives
and she recorded the most often-discussed regrets. At the top of the list:
"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life
others expected of me." Next on the list: "I wish I hadn't worked so hard"
and "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."

I am not sure these are the most important two questions we will ever ask,
but surely we will have fewer regrets if we spend a moment every morning
asking them.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Jump!

Jump!

Hiroshi Mikitani 

Rakuten Inc.




To be successful in business, you must act first and think later.



This may sound counterintuitive. Indeed, most of us have been counselled since we were children to think first. Don't just rush out there, consider every possibility, look before you leap. I've heard that advice, too. I reject it. My experience has been that there is no real, valuable thinking until you move into action. It is the action
that spurs thinking. Action is, literally, the food for thought.

Think of it in terms of learning a sport. Suppose you want to learn to play tennis. I can spend hours, even days, telling you about it, encouraging you
 to think about what playing tennis would be like. But you won't learn a thing until you are out on the court, swinging at the ball, trying to play.
 
Then, in your actions, the reality of your situation will take shape.

The same is true in business. You can think about it all day long. But until you are out in the reality of your efforts, you will not be able to
 see what truly needs to be done. When you are acting, you will see the 
impact of your efforts. You'll get feedback and response. Not all of it will be good. But all of it will be valuable. All of it will help you understand your next move. And then your next.

Thinking is important. But don't put all your efforts into thinking while you hold off on action. It's okay to start slow. But be sure to start. You can think afterwards.



Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Develop habits that get things DONE [video]

Develop habits that get things DONE [video]

By now, I hope you've had a chance to watch my complimentary "Psychology of Time Management" video.

If not, watch it here.

If you enjoyed the video – and have started using my 7-step goal setting process to implement your time management goals, you may be wondering how you can take things one step further.

Find out by watching my second free video, "Developing Habits That Get Things Done."

Watch it here.

Remember, what you do with the time you have is exponentially more important than how much time you have.

I created "Developing Habits That Get Things Done" to explain exactly how to get more done, in less time. This is one of the most important techniques you can practice to develop strong work habits; and in turn, a pattern for success in every aspect of your life.

When you watch "Developing Habits That Get Things Done," you learn:

  • One of the most important techniques you can practice to develop strong work habits (it's easier than you might think!)
  • What you should do before you ever begin working, to ensure better efficiency once you start
  • The type of approach you can take each time you work, to get your work done better, faster
  • A question you can ask yourself each time you sit down to work, to make yourself highly effective in everything you do
  • The attitude with which you must approach every task or project if you want to master it and achieve the best time management possible

If you've ever thought, "I wish I could get more done," then this is your solution. Developing habits that get things done is one of the essential components of mastering time management.

Watch "Developing Habits That Get Things Done" now.

Here's to getting it ALL done, faster,



Brian Tracy

Circulated by: Lawyer Asad

The Art of Taking Advice: It Isn't What You Ask, It's Whom You Ask

The Art of Taking Advice: It Isn't What You Ask, It's Whom You Ask

BY ED FRANK

For serious entrepreneurs, one major component for making it past the incubator stage is the ability to gather a solid group of advisors. Often, these advisors become investors or board members. While at times the advice may not seem to align with your vision, it could be critical to help you achieve your long-term goals.

The startups we see at Bootcamp Ventures, our startup advisory firm, are actively seeking and receiving advice. As a company moves through its life cycle, the value of advice from different sources often varies. What follows is a quick rundown of which types of advisers are best for which stage of your company. 

Seed: At the outset, your best bet could actually be your friends. Enlist them as your early adopters if possible. Often, the closer the friend, the more honest the advice. Bear in mind also that most people don't have an entrepreneurial mindset, and you may be more comfortable with higher levels of risk than the salaried employees you may know.

Post-seed/incubator: If you're at an incubator, consider the backgrounds of the advisors before settling on mentors. Choose those best suited to your industry. Are they experienced entrepreneurs who will understand where you are coming from and be able to give the most relevant advice? If the advisor is from a venture-capital firm, does it have portfolio companies in your niche which could be tapped?  

Round A funding: If you're beyond the "3F" (friends-family-and-fools) investment stage and seeking about $500,000 -- at the low end of a Round A funding, you may get your best advice now from an experienced "super angel" in your field. Alternatively, you may seek out, if suitable, a business accelerator or an "off the radar" fund. These funding sources are the first real partners for your enterprise, and their interests are generally aligned with yours. But research their backgrounds and check references thoroughly. Don't get excited by promises and discussions of big exits.

Round B funding: At this stage, you've reached the milestones of your Round A plan and are in growth mode, on your way to market leadership. Your most relevant advisers now will likely be professionals related to your field, including attorneys specializing in corporate law and established advisory firms with a global network of contacts.

The four "W"s below are useful tools, which will guide you through the startup life cycle and help you take and implement the right advice at the right time.  

Who: Choose your advisors according to their expertise, and consult with them about topics related to this area only. Have they been through a startup? What is their risk tolerance? How well do they understand your situation and goals? Beware of unsolicited advice from friends and family who have no expertise or experience with the issues.

Why: Get in the habit of putting yourself in the shoes of your advisors to understand where they are coming from. Are they trying to persuade you of something, when the benefit to you isn't as clear as the benefit to them? The more you know about your advisors, the better prepared you'll be to evaluate their advice and instructions.  

What: Before acting on the advice, stop to consider at what cost can it be implemented? What are the benefits of following it? Does the "upside" balance the total cost? Cost should be calculated in terms of money, resources and time. Hash out the issues with your team.

When: Once you have decided to take advice, think about the timing. Consider the stage of your company. Is it ready to follow through on changes related to investment, management or relocation? Is your research-and-development or your public-relations team briefed and ready for action? After you have made sure your whole team is prepared, then you can move ahead and implement the advice.  

As an entrepreneur, your strengths include your fearlessness and perseverance to do what it takes to succeed. With this in mind, take the time to consider the source of the advice and whether it should be taken with a grain of salt. Ultimately, you are your most important advisor when it comes to the decisions that determine your success.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Friday, December 28, 2012

REAL FRIEND





A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your
'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!



A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..



A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book..




A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.



A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.



A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.



A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when
you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.



A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!


A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.
A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!



Pass this on to anyone you care about......if you
get it back you have no beginning, no end.

It keeps us together, like our Circle of Friends.
Today I pass this on to you. Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you..




'Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. '


Give thousand chances to your enemy to become your friend, But don't give a single chance to ur friend to become ur enemy'






 











F - Few
R - Relations

I - In

E - Earth
N - Never

D - Die

 




Courtesy: Basant Agarwal


The Most Misunderstood Aspect Of Great Leadership

The Most Misunderstood Aspect Of Great Leadership



Mike Myatt, Contributor

I write about leadership myths, and bust them one-by–one.

I was recently asked what I consider to be the most misunderstood aspect of great leadership; in other words, what makes great leadership great? 
What immediately came to mind is not only misunderstood, but it also happens to be the most often overlooked element of leadership, and the one
which also affords leaders the greatest opportunity for personal, professional, and enterprise growth. If you want to become a better leader
in 2013, I suggest you become comfortable with a leadership practice few are – surrender.

Surrender – not for the faint of heart

You'll rarely encounter the words leadership and surrender used together in complementary fashion. Society has labeled surrender as a sign of 
leadership weakness, when in fact, it can be among the greatest of leadership strengths. Let me be clear, I'm not encouraging giving in or
giving up – I am suggesting you learn the ever so subtle art of letting go.

A leader simply operates at their best when they understand their ability
 
to influence is much more fruitful than their ability to control. Here's the thing – the purpose of leadership is not to shine the spotlight
on yourself, but to unlock the potential of others so they can in turn shine the spotlight on countless more. Control is about power – not leadership.

Surrender allows a leader to get out of their own way and focus on adding value to those whom they serve.


Surrender – control freaks need not apply

If you're still not convinced the art of leadership is learning the focus point should be on surrender not control, consider this: control restricts
potential, limits initiative, and inhibits talent. Surrender fosters collaboration, encourages innovation and enables possibility. Controlling
leaders create bottlenecks rather than increase throughput. They signal a lack of trust and confidence an often come across as insensitive if not 
arrogant. When you experience weak teams, micro-management, frequent turf wars, high stress, operational strain, and a culture of fear, you are 
experiencing what control has to offer – not very attractive is it?
Surrender allows the savvy leader to serve where control demands the ego-centric leader be served. Surrender allows leadership to scale and a 
culture of leadership to be established. Surrender prefers loose collaborative networks over rigid hierarchical structures allowing 
information to be more readily shared and distributed. Leaders who understand surrender think community, ecosystem, and culture – not org
chart. Surrender is what not only allows the dots to be connected, but it's what allows to dots to be multiplied. Controlling leaders operate in a 
world of addition and subtraction, while the calculus of a leader who understands surrender is built on exponential multiplication.

I have found those who embrace control are simply attempting to consolidate power, while those who practice surrender are facilitating the distribution
 of authority. When what you seek is to build into others more than glorifying self you have developed a level of leadership maturity that 
values surrender over control. Surrender is the mindset which creates the desire for leaders to give credit rather than take it, to prefer hearing 
over being heard, to dialogue instead of monologue, to have an open mind over a closed mind, to value unlearning as much as learning. Control 
messages selfishness, while surrender conveys selflessness – which is more important to you?

Surrender – when not to

Keep this in mind – we all surrender, but not all surrender is honourable.
Some surrender to their ego, to the wrong priorities, or to other distractive habits. Others surrender to the positive realization they are not
the center of the universe – they surrender to something beyond themselves
in order to accomplish more for others. Bottom line – what you do or don't surrender to will define you. Assuming you surrender to the right things,
surrender is not a sign of leadership weakness, but is perhaps the ultimate sign of leadership confidence. I'll leave you with this quote from 
William Booth: "The greatness of a man's power is the measure of his surrender."

Thoughts?



Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Thursday, December 27, 2012

BANANA BRAIN

A professor at C.C.N.Y for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas.  He said the expression "going bananas" is from the effects of bananas on the brain.  Read on: 


Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!! 


This is interesting. 
After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again. 


Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. 

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. 

But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit.
 It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet. 

Depression:
 According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier. 

PMS:
 Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood. 

Anemia :
 High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia. 


Blood Pressure:
 This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke. 


Brain Power:
 200 students at a Twickenham (Middle sex) school ( England  ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert. 

Constipation:
 High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives. 


Hangovers:
 One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system. 

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief. 

Morning Sickness:
 Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness 

Mosquito bites:
 Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation. 


Nerves:
 Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. 



Overweight
 and at work? Studies at the   Institute  of   Psychology  in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips.. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.. 

Ulcers:
 The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach. 


Temperature control:
 Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In   Thailand  , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature. 


Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): 
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan. 


Smoking &Tobacco Use:
 Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal. 


Stress:
 Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance.. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack. 


Strokes:
 According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%! 


Warts:
 Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape! 

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase



Courtesy: Basant Agarwal

Circulated by: Lawyer Asad

Attract More Blessings Into Your Life Today

Attract More Blessings Into Your Life Today
 
Merry Christmas!!!
 
I'm sooooooo excited to share with you the following Christmas gifts to help you attract more blessings into your life today...
 
1) 30 Days of Blessings eBook
2) 30 Days of Blessings Daily Journal
3) Sample Audio Track from 365 Days of Blessings Audiobook
 

These gifts are actually part of 2 new products I'm launching soon, namely 365 Days of Blessings and 365 Days of Blessings Audiobook...

Those products are NOT ready at the moment but I wanted to get these gifts to you first to give you a little sneak preview of what the end products are going to be like... =)

I've literally been working around the clock on them... and hope to have everything ready sometime around new year... so we can start your 2013 off with an awesome BANG...

In the meantime...

Click Here To Go Claim Your Christmas Gifts NOW

I'd love your feedback as it would help me make 365 Days of Blessings and 365 Days of Blessings Audiobook even more AWESOME...

Alright, enjoy and I'll talk to you again soon...

Merry Christmas once again... May God bless you and your family and loved ones abundantly =)
 
To Your Success,
Yee Shun-Jian
Founder and Chief Happiness Officer,
RichGrad.com
101PowerfulAffirmations.com

Circulated by: Lawyer Asad

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

How to Be Naturally Attractive to Women

How to Be Naturally Attractive to Women

Science knows what attracts women to men. Now use this in-depth hypnosis
course to program your unconscious mind to take advantage of these
discoveries.


*Source: Uncommon Knowledge

If you have spent any time researching how to be more successful with
women, you'll have found so much information on what to do, what to say,
how to dress...

But what about if you don't feel confident enough to approach women in that
way? What about how you are coming across? What about your inner game 
- those countless unconscious signals that women are picking up before they
even hear your voice?

Without confidence you're in trouble - she can smell your fear...

The thing about attraction is that it relies on instincts. It has to.
Nature has developed in us fine tuned senses to pick up the truth about the
person we're interacting with. Without that we would be susceptible to
being lied to and manipulated every minute of the day.

Women respond instinctively to men

Women's natural instincts require that you as a man connect in the right
way with her. (A classic example of a failure in this area is when she
'just wants to be friends'). This connection happens at an unconscious
level - nature's check to ensure the survival of the species.

All of which means that you can't pretend your way into a relationship. You
have to feel it through and through. Which is why you need to make those
changes at the deepest level.

Change your inner game so women find you more attractive, and you feel
much, much more confident in approaching them.

Hypnosis can change your 'inner game'

If you want to master new skills, develop new habits and generally enhance
your life, the most powerful tool available to you is hypnosis. In
hypnosis, you don't only learn at the conscious level, in your head. You
don't just learn the 'theory'. You literally reprogram the neural pathways
of your brain so that the new behaviour becomes a real, natural, fundamental
'part' of you. Just who you are and what you do.

10 Steps to Be More Attractive to Women combines
the essential findings of research scientists on what works in the
attraction game with carefully selected hypnosis sessions to make real
changes in you that will really make a difference.

The course has been created by Hypnosis Downloads' co-founder Mark Tyrrell,
and edited by Kathleen Fedouloff, also a professional hypnotherapist.

The course won't only make a difference to how you get on when you meet
women. It'll make a difference to the whole of your life, giving you a
confidence, self-assurance and ease with other people that is not 'put on'
as a ploy in the hope that somebody will be attracted - but is just who you
naturally are.

And a man who is at ease with himself and others is just - naturally -
attractive.

Start your journey to naturally attracting women here

When it comes down to it, nature rules. And once you know her rules, and
adjust your mind and body accordingly, you will be more naturally
attractive. Period.

From the very first step of the course, you will feel more confident in
yourself, and that in itself is attractive. As you progress through the 10
steps, you will be honing yourself into a man that women desire - not every
woman, but a good proportion, and more importantly, you'll understand what
attracts women to you - and what puts them off.

But the most vital aspect of this course is that every piece of new
information about attraction will be embedded in your mind by the 10
hypnosis sessions. So not only will you know what to do consciously, you'll
feel it too - and since attraction is unconscious, this is where the real
magic happens.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas!

Wish you all Merry Christmas my friends, readers and visitors to my Blog.
It's for your active support this Blog has been a success.
I'm grateful to you.
God bless you.
Lawyer Asad

The Conscious Lifestyle: Facing Your Stress

The Conscious Lifestyle: Facing Your Stress

Deepak Chopra MD (official)
Founder, Deepak Chopra LLC


I don't want to open the vast discussion of stress that now exists, except to make two limited points. 1. Stress isn't good for you. 2. The vast majority of people do not deal with their stress effectively. Coming to grips with these two things is important for anyone who wants to create a conscious lifestyle. To be aware is to be open, alert, ready to meet unknown challenges, and capable of fresh responses. When you are under stress, these qualities are compromised. Raise the stress high enough and they are reversed. The mind closes down as an act of self-defense. In that state it is very difficult to be alert and open.

But stress is bad for you in far more basic ways. The hormones that are released in the body's stress response, such as cortisol and adrenaline, are meant to be temporary. Their effect is to galvanize the fight-or-flight response, which is triggered in a primitive area of the brain, because fight-or-flight is an inheritance from our pre-human past. In the stress response, a privileged pathway is opened for dealing with emergencies, while at the same time the brain's higher responses are temporarily suppressed. 

No one can healthily sustain the heightened alertness, quick burst of energy, rapid heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and other marks of the fight-or-flight response.  Physically, the hormone rush must come to an end, leading to the opposite state - you become drowsy, lose energy, and have a hard time remaining alert and focused. So-called adrenaline junkies deliberately induce an aroused state because they enjoy being highly aroused, and they presumably value the courage, euphoria, and killer instinct that the stress response brings. 

What they overlook is the down side. They may also be unaware of the physical damage done to various parts of the body, since various processes (e.g., growth, digestion, oxygenation of muscles) are temporarily shut down during fight-or-flight, which must be considered an abnormal, unbalanced state - no one would deliberately stay there. As stress experts have asserted for decades, the low-level stress of modern life fools the body into triggering a borderline condition of fight-or-flight that isn't good for us. "Normal" stresses like being stuck in traffic contribute to hypertension and coronary artery disease, along with susceptibility to infections, insomnia, and much else.

So those highly competitive types who boast that they thrive on stress are living in a fantasy world when you consider the potential for damage to their bodies. The most recent studies on the genetic effects of exercise, diet, meditation, and stress reduction conducted Dr. Dean Ornish, a national expert on reversing heart disease, suggests that a positive lifestyle produces beneficial output form as many as 400-500 genes. This implies that the same genes are adversely affected by a negative lifestyle that ignores stress management.

We are only now beginning to understand that subjective states like pain and happiness are not standardized. In fact, as we constantly reshape the brain and nervous system through everyday experience, each of us is structuring a unique response to the world, including our response to stress. This implies that there are people with high tolerances for stress and people with low tolerance, just as there is for pain.  But if you put soldiers under the high stress of battle, eventually all of them will become shell-shocked unless they are given time away from the front lines. The firefighters and police who responded on 9/11, a group self-selected to go into stressful situations, suffered very high rates of post-traumatic symptoms.

Therefore, don't try to make stress your ally, either by toughing it out or turning your back on the problem. The conscious choice is to recognize that modern life is a battleground of low-level stress, sometimes peaking into high stress, that will have a damaging effect over time unless you deal with everyday stressors in a consistent, effective way.  

We'll talk about the best ways to manage stress in this series of posts.

Deepak Chopra, MD is the author of more than 65 books with numerous New York Times bestsellers and co-author with Rudolph Tanzi of Super Brain: Unleashing the Explosive Power of Your Mind to Maximize Health, Happiness, and Spiritual Well-being. (Harmony)

Circulated by: Lawyer Asad

Monday, December 24, 2012

5 Mistakes I Continue To Make in My Marriage

5 Mistakes I Continue To Make in My Marriage

Gretchen Rubin
Bestselling author; blogger www.happiness-project.com


One theme of my happier-at-home project is marriage.

I have five particular problem areas in my marriage. Here they are, along with the strategies I try to use to address them, though they remain challenging:

1. Demanding gold stars. I'm a gold-star junkie, and my husband just isn't very good at handing out gold stars--and that makes me feel angry and unappreciated.

In response, I now think more about doing things for myself. I used to tell myself I was doing nice things for him – "He'll be so happy to see that I put all the books away," "He'll be so pleased that I fixed the schedule" etc. – then I'd be mad when he wasn't appreciative. Now I tell myself that I'm doing these things for me. "I'm so organized to have bought all the supplies in advance!" Because I do things for myself, I don't expect him to respond in any particular way.

2. Using a snappish tone. I have a very short fuse – but my husband doesn't like it when I snap at him. He's funny that way. Many of my resolutions help me keep my temper in check. I don't let myself get too hungry or too cold (I fall into these states very easily); I try to maintain reasonable order, because clutter makes me crabby; I try to control my voice to keep it light and cheery instead of accusatory and impatient; I try not to make my (supposedly terrifying) mean face. Confession: I've worked on this issue relentlessly for years, and I fly into brief-but-hot rage at least once a week. At least.

3. Not showing enough consideration. Studies show that married people treat each other with less civility than they show to other people — definitely true for me. I'm working hard on basic consideration, such as not reading my emails while talking to him on the phone. Very basic, I know.

4. Score-keeping. I'm a score-keeper, always calculating who has done what. "I cleaned up the kitchen, so you have to run to the store" — that sort of thing. I've found two ways to try to deal with this tendency.

First, I remind myself of unconscious over-claiming; i.e., we unconsciously overestimate our contributions relative to other people's. This makes sense, because of course we're far more aware of what we do than what other people do. I complain about the time I spend paying bills, but I overlook the time my husband spends dealing with our car.

Second, I remind myself of the words of my spiritual master, St. Therese of Lisieux: "When one loves, one does not calculate."

5. Taking my husband for granted. Just as I find it easy to overlook chores done by my husband (see #4), it's easy to forget to appreciate his many virtues and instead focus on his flaws. For example, although I find it hard to resist using an irritable tone, my husband almost never speaks harshly, and that's really a wonderful trait. I try to stay alert to all the things I love about him, and let go of my petty annoyances.

What are some mistakes you make in your marriage or long-term relationship? Have you found any useful strategies for addressing them?

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Psychedelic Secrets of Santa Claus

The Psychedelic Secrets of Santa Claus

 

Are modern Christmas traditions are based on ancient mushroom-using shamans?

By Dana Larsen / Source: Cannabis Culture

Although most people see Christmas as a Christian holiday, many of the symbols and icons we associate with Christmas celebrations are actually derived from the shamanistic traditions of the tribal peoples of pre-Christian Northern Europe.

The sacred mushroom of these people was the red and white amanita muscaria mushroom, also known as "fly agaric." These mushrooms are now commonly seen in books of fairy tales, and are usually associated with magic and fairies. This is because they contain potent hallucinogenic compounds, and were used by ancient peoples for insight and transcendental experiences.

Most of the major elements of the modern Christmas celebration, such as Santa Claus, Christmas trees, magical reindeer and the giving of gifts, are originally based upon the traditions surrounding the harvest and consumption of these most sacred mushrooms.

The world tree and magical mushrooms

These ancient peoples, including the Lapps of modern-day Finland, and the Koyak tribes of the central Russian steppes, believed in the idea of a World Tree.

The World Tree was seen as a kind of cosmic axis, onto which the planes of the universe are fixed. The roots of the World Tree stretch down into the underworld, its trunk is the "middle earth" of everyday existence, and its branches reach upwards into the heavenly realm.

The North Star was also considered sacred, since all other stars in the sky revolved around its fixed point. They associated this "Pole Star" with the World Tree and the central axis of the universe. The top of the World Tree touched the North Star, and the spirit of the shaman would climb the metaphorical tree, thereby passing into the realm of the gods. This is the true meaning of the star on top of the modern Christmas tree, and also the reason that the super-shaman Santa makes his home at the North Pole.

The amanita muscaria mushrooms grow only under certain types of trees, mostly firs and evergreens. The mushroom caps are the fruit of the larger mycelium beneath the soil which exists in a symbiotic relationship with the roots of the tree. To ancient people, these mushrooms were literally "the fruit of the tree."

Ancient peoples were amazed at how these magical mushrooms sprang from the earth without any visible seed. They considered this "virgin birth" to have been the result of the morning dew, which was seen as the semen of the deity. The silver tinsel we drape onto our modern Christmas tree represents this divine fluid.

The active ingredients of the amanita mushrooms are not metabolized by the body, and so they remain active in the urine. In fact, it is safer to drink the urine of one who has consumed the mushrooms than to eat the mushrooms directly, as many of the toxic compounds are processed and eliminated on the first pass through the body.

It was common practice among ancient people to recycle the potent effects of the mushroom by drinking each other's urine. The amanita's ingredients can remain potent even after six passes through the human body. Some scholars argue that this is the origin of the phrase "to get pissed," as this urine-drinking activity preceded alcohol by thousands of years.

Reindeer games

Reindeer were the sacred animals of these semi-nomadic people, as the reindeer provided food, shelter, clothing and other necessities. Reindeer are also fond of eating the amanita mushrooms; they will seek them out, then prance about while under their influence. Often the urine of tripped-out reindeer would be consumed for its psychedelic effects.

This effect goes the other way too, as reindeer also enjoy the urine of a human, especially one who has consumed the mushrooms. In fact, reindeer will seek out human urine to drink, and some tribesmen carry sealskin containers of their own collected piss, which they use to attract stray reindeer back into the herd.

The effects of the amanita mushroom usually include sensations of size distortion and flying. The feeling of flying could account for the legends of flying reindeer, and legends of shamanic journeys included stories of winged reindeer, transporting their riders up to the highest branches of the World Tree.

Santa Claus, Super Shaman

Although the modern image of Santa Claus was created at least in part by the advertising department of Coca-Cola, in truth his appearance, clothing, mannerisms and companions all mark him as the reincarnation of these ancient mushroom-gathering shamans.

One of the side effects of eating amanita mushrooms is that the skin and facial features take on a flushed, ruddy glow. This is why Santa is always shown with glowing red cheeks and nose. Even Santa's jolly "Ho, ho, ho!" is the euphoric laugh of one who has indulged in the magic fungus.

Santa also dresses like a mushroom gatherer. When it was time to go out and harvest the magical mushrooms, the ancient shamans would dress much like Santa, wearing red and white fur-trimmed coats and long black boots.

These peoples lived in dwellings made of birch and reindeer hide, called "yurts." Somewhat similar to a teepee, the yurt's central smokehole is often also used as an entrance. After gathering the mushrooms from under the sacred trees where they appeared, the shamans would fill their sacks and return home. Climbing down the chimney-entrances, they would share out the mushroom's gifts with those within.

The amanita mushroom needs to be dried before being consumed; the drying process reduces the mushroom's toxicity while increasing its potency. The shaman would guide the group in stringing the mushrooms and hanging them around the hearth-fire to dry. This tradition is echoed in the modern stringing of popcorn and other items.

The psychedelic journeys taken under the influence of the amanita were also symbolized by a stick reaching up through the smokehole in the top of the yurt. The smokehole was the portal where the spirit of the shaman exited the physical plane.

Santa's famous magical journey, where his sleigh takes him around the whole planet in a single night, is developed from the "heavenly chariot," used by the gods from whom Santa and other shamanic figures are descended. The chariot of Odin, Thor and even the Egyptian god Osiris is now known as the Big Dipper, which circles around the North Star in a 24-hour period.

In different versions of the ancient story, the chariot was pulled by reindeer or horses. As the animals grow exhausted, their mingled spit and blood falls to the ground, forming the amanita mushrooms.


 
St Nicholas and Old Nick

Saint Nicholas is a legendary figure who supposedly lived during the fourth Century. His cult spread quickly and Nicholas became the patron saint of many varied groups, including judges, pawnbrokers, criminals, merchants, sailors, bakers, travelers, the poor, and children.

Most religious historians agree that St Nicholas did not actually exist as a real person, and was instead a Christianized version of earlier Pagan gods. Nicholas' legends were mainly created out of stories about the Teutonic god called Hold Nickar, known as Poseidon to the Greeks. This powerful sea god was known to gallop through the sky during the winter solstice, granting boons to his worshippers below.

When the Catholic Church created the character of St Nicholas, they took his name from "Nickar" and gave him Poseidon's title of "the Sailor." There are thousands of churches named in St Nicholas' honor, most of which were converted from temples to Poseidon and Hold Nickar. (As the ancient pagan deities were demonized by the Christian church, Hold Nickar's name also became associated with Satan, known as "Old Nick!")

Local traditions were incorporated into the new Christian holidays to make them more acceptable to the new converts. To these early Christians, Saint Nicholas became a sort of "super-shaman" who was overlaid upon their own shamanic cultural practices. Many images of Saint Nicholas from these early times show him wearing red and white, or standing in front of a red background with white spots, the design of the amanita mushroom.

St Nicholas also adopted some of the qualities of the legendary "Grandmother Befana" from Italy, who filled children's stockings with gifts. Her shrine at Bari, Italy, became a shrine to St Nicholas.

Modern world, ancient traditions

Some psychologists have discussed the "cognitive dissonance" which occurs when children are encouraged to believe in the literal existence of Santa Claus, only to have their parents' lie revealed when they are older. By so deceiving our children we rob them of a richer heritage, for the actual origin of these ancient rituals is rooted deep in our history and our collective unconscious. By better understanding the truths within these popular celebrations, we can better understand the modern world, and our place in it.

Many people in the modern world have rejected Christmas as being too commercial, claiming that this ritual of giving is actually a celebration of materialism and greed. Yet the true spirit of this winter festival lies not in the exchange of plastic toys, but in celebrating a gift from the earth: the fruiting top of a magical mushroom, and the revelatory experiences it can provide.

Instead of perpetuating outdated and confusing holiday myths, it might be more fulfilling to return to the original source of these seasonal celebrations. How about getting back to basics and enjoying some magical mushrooms with your loved ones this solstice? What better gift can a family share than a little piece of love and enlightenment?


Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Saturday, December 22, 2012

22 Reasons to be an VEGETARIAN




22 Reasons to be an VEGETARIAN  !
Consider making this healthy choice as one of your new year's resolutions. ..
Stacks of studies confirm that a diet full of fresh fruits and vegetables and grains is your best bet for living a longer, healthier and more enjoyable life. There are literally hundreds of great reasons to switch to a plant-based diet; here are 22 of the best:
1.You'll live a lot longer.
Vegetarians live about seven years longer, and vegans (who eat no animal products) about 15 years longer than meat eaters, according to a study from Loma Linda University. These findings are backed up by the China Health Project (the largest population study on diet and health to date), which found that Chinese people who eat the least amount of fat and animal products have the lowest risks of cancer, heart attack and other chronic degenerative diseases.
 
2.You'll save your heart. Cardiovascular disease is still the
number one killer in the United States, and the standard American diet (SAD) that's laden with saturated fat and cholesterol from meat and dairy is largely to blame. Plus, produce contains no saturated fat or cholesterol. Incidentally, cholesterol levels for vegetarians are 14 percent lower than meat eaters.
 
3.You can put more money in your mutual fund.
Replacing meat, chicken and fish with vegetables and fruits is estimated to cut food bills.
 
4.You'll reduce your risk of cancer.
Studies done at the German Cancer Research Center in Heidelberg suggest that this is because vegetarians' immune systems are more effective in killing off tumour cells than meat eaters'. Studies have also found a plantbased diet helps protect against prostate, colon and skin cancers.
 
5.You'll add color to your plate.

Meat, chicken and fish tend to come in boring shades of brown and beige, but fruits and vegetables come in all colours of the rainbow. Diseasefighting phytochemicals are responsible for giving produce their rich, varied hues. So cooking by colour is a good way to ensure you re eating a variety of naturally occurring substances that boost immunity and prevent a range of illnesses.
 
6.You'll fit into your old jeans.
On average, vegetarians are slimmer than meat eaters, and when we diet, we keep the weight off up to seven years longer. That's because diets that are higher in vegetable proteins are much lower in fat and calories than the SAD. Vegetarians are also less likely to fall victim to weight-related disorders like heart disease, stroke and diabetes.
 
7.You'll give your body a spring cleaning.
Giving up meat helps purge the body of toxins (pesticides, environmental pollutants, preservatives) that overload our systems and cause illness. When people begin formal detoxification programs, their first step is to replace meats and dairy products with fruits and vegetables and juices.
 
8.You'll make a strong political statement.
It's a wonderful thing to be able to finish a delicious meal, knowing that no beings have suffered to make it..
 
9.Your meals will taste delicious.
Vegetables are endlessly interesting to cook and a joy to eat. It's an ever-changing parade of flavours and colors and textures and tastes.
 
10    You'll help reduce waste and air pollution.
Livestock farms creates phenomenal amounts of waste. The tons of manure, a substance that's rated by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) as a top pollutants. And that's not even counting the methane gas released by goats, pigs and poultry (which contributes to the greenhouse effect); the ammonia gases from urine; poison gases that emanate from manure lagoons; toxic chemicals from pesticides; and exhaust from farm equipment used to raise feed for animals. 
 
 
11       Your bones will last longer.
The average bone loss for a vegetarian woman at age 65 is 18 percent; for non-vegetarian women, it's double that. Researchers attribute this to the consumption of excess protein. Excess protein interferes with the absorption and retention of calcium and actually prompts the body to excrete calcium, laying the ground for the brittle bone disease osteoporosis. Animal proteins, including milk, make the blood acidic, and to balance that condition, the body pulls calcium from bones. So rather than rely on milk for calcium, vegetarians turn to dark green leafy vegetables, such as broccoli and legumes, which, calorie for calorie, are superior sources.
 
12      You'll help reduce famine.
It takes 15 pounds of feed to get one pound of meat. But if the grain were given directly to people, there'd be enough food to feed the entire planet. In addition, using land for animal agriculture is inefficient in terms of maximizing food production. According to the journal Soil and Water, one acre of land could produce 50,000 pounds of tomatoes, 40,000 pounds of potatoes, 30,000 pounds of carrots or just 250 pounds of beef.
 
13      You'll avoid toxic chemicals.
The EPA estimates that nearly 95 per cent of pesticide residue in our diet comes from meat, fish and dairy products. Fish, in particular, contain carcinogens (PCBs, DDT) and heavy metals (mercury, arsenic; lead, cadmium) that cannot be removed through cooking or freezing. Meat and dairy products are also laced with steroids and hormones.
 
14      You'll protect yourself from foodborne illnesses.
According to the Center for Science in the Public Interest in the US, which has stringent food standards, 25 per cent of all chicken sold in the United States carries salmonella bacteria and, the CDC estimates, 70 percent to 90 percent of chickens contain the bacteria campy-lobacter (some strains of which are antibiotic-resistan t), approximately 5 percent of cows carry the lethal strain of E. coli O157:H7 (which causes virulent diseases and death), and 30 percent of pigs slaughtered each year for food are infected with toxoplasmosis (caused by parasites).
 
15      You may get rid of your back problems.
Back pain appears to begin, not in the back, but in the arteries. The degeneration of discs, for instance, which leads to nerves being pinched, starts with the arteries leading to the back. Eating a plant-based diet keeps these arteries clear of cholesterol- causing  blockages to help maintain a healthy back.
 
16      You'll be more 'regular.'
Eating a lot of vegetables necessarily means consuming fiber, which pushes waste out of the body. Meat contains no fibre. Studies done at Harvard and Brigham Women's Hospital found that people who ate a high-fiber diet had a 42 percent lower risk of diverticulitis. People who eat lower on the food chain also tend to have fewer incidences of constipation, hemorrhoids and spastic colon.
 
17       You'll cool those hot flashes.
Plants, grains and legumes contain phytoestrogens that are believed to balance fluctuating hormones, so vegetarian women tend to go through menopause with fewer complaints of sleep problems, hot flashes, fatigue, mood swings, weight gain, depression and a diminished sex drive.
 
18      You'll help to bring down the national debt.
We spend large amounts annually to treat the heart disease, cancer, obesity, and food poisoning that are byproducts of a diet heavy on animal products.
 
19      You'll preserve our fish population.
Because of our voracious appetite for fish, 39 per cent of the oceans' fish species are overharvested, and the Food & Agriculture Organization reports that 11 of 15 of the world's major fishing grounds have become depleted.
 
20      You'll help protect the purity of water.
It takes 2,500 gallons of water to produce one pound of mutton, but just 25 gallons of water to produce a pound of wheat. Not only is this wasteful, but it contributes to rampant water pollution.
 
21      You'll provide a great role model for your kids.
If you set a good example and feed your children good food, chances are they'll live a longer and healthier life. You're also providing a market for vegetarian products and making it more likely that they'll be available for the children.
 
22      Going vegetarian is easy!
Vegetarian cooking has never been so simple. We live in a country that has been vegetarian by default. Our traditional dishes are loaded with the goodness of vegetarian food. Switching over it very simple indeed.



Courtesy: Basant Agarwal