Adopted from the article by Simon H.
Edited by: Lawyer Asad
Recently, I've received a lot of emails from guys who complain about how they screwed it up with a girl, and now they want to figure out how to get her back.
I'm not talking about guys who lost their girlfriend. I'm referring to guys who met a girl, and had some communication going on, but then the girl seemed to "cool off" and lose interest.
The emails usually go something like...
"I met this cute girl, and played it really cool, and got her number... and we were texting each other for three weeks... and then I met her for coffee, but then I couldn't pin her down for another date, and she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship right now... and I know I should have handled it differently, but how can I get her interested in me again..."
The bottom line is, women CRAVE a challenge, and are repelled by men who make their interest obvious.
Now, you probably just read that and said "of course, I already
know that," but it's amazing to me HOW MANY MEN disregard this
principle in the HEAT of the moment.
It's easy to tell yourself you're going to be "more challenging" to women, but then you meet a hot chick and it
seems like she's into you, so you throw all the rules and common sense out the window and just want to do it whatever it takes to lock her down as your girlfriend.
Well, you ever notice what happens when you make an "exception"
and ignore these rules, and start texting her all the time and trying to see her?
YOU LOSE.
And this is when guys fill up my inbox with their emails, complaining about how they "messed it up" and asking "how do I get her interested in me again?"
I'm not going to bullshit you. Once you've shown weakness to a woman, and made it obvious that you would crawl over broken glass to get a date with her, it's not easy for you to suddenly make her think you're some super-confident,
independent guy.
The way to salvage this situation is to LAY OFF her for awhile. Go out and meet other women.
Hit the Internet hard and start flirting with girls and lining up dates. The only time you will obsess over one particular girl is when you don't have other options in your life.
OK, so fast-forward a few weeks. You still want to get back with girl #1, the one you messed it up with...
Remember this: when a girl seems to be interested in you, but then acts like she's always too "busy" to see you, she's testing you. She's not really THAT busy.
You know this.
What she's doing is testing you. She's confused about her feelings. On the one hand, she likes you... but on the other hand, she's worried that you might be like all the other
guys who chase after her and wind up annoying her.
More specifically, she is worried that:
A) You're not really that desirable. You're not much of a "prize." If you allow your world to revolve around her, what does that say about your desirability?
Obviously, you don't have other options, which means that women generally are not attracted to you. Women will judge your value based on your desirablity to other women.
They don't need to see you with other women, but they need
to feel that you are a prize, and that you have all kinds of other options.
B) You're just trying to bang her. She worries that if she "gives it up" to you, you're then going to ditch her and move on to the next girl.
Either way, her solution is to play "hard to get" and see
what you're made of.
So, if you're going to re-establish contact with her and try to get things back on track, you've got to make it EASY for her to say "yes."
You don't tell her how you feel about her. You don't apologize for anything. You contact her and you lay out a firm GAME PLAN that sounds interesting and agreeable.
Forget about text-messaging her.
This is weak bullshit.
It's too easy for her to ignore a text message or just hit "delete."
Call her.
She has to hear the enthusiasm and confidence in your tone of your voice. If you leave a message on her
voicemail, here is the wrong way, and the right way, to do it:
WACK TACTIC: "Hey, it's Simon. Um, I know we haven't talked in a while, I was just wondering how you've been..."
MACK TACTIC: "What's up, it's Simon. Listen, I was thinking of you the other night, I discovered this new after-work spot for Happy Hour, and it's exactly your type of vibe.
I saw one of your friends there, it was really funny actually. Give me a ring. Talk to you soon."
(Did you actually see her friend there? No, but it's an added "hook" to get her to return your phone call. If she questions you on this, just say, "actually, I thought I saw
one of your friends so I walked over and said hi, and it turned out to be a girl that looked exactly like her.
I swear, your friend has a twin. Anyway, so I'll be going back there on Friday night, come meet me for a drink because I've got some really cool news that I want to tell you about."
Again, you're giving her a hook. You want to tell her some "cool news."
What is this news?
It doesn't really matter. When you meet her, if she asks, just make something up.
It could be something that happened at your job, or something exciting that happened to a friend of yours.
Whatever.
The point is, you've gotten her to agree to see you.
Now you've got to play it very cool and control the flow of the conversation, and stimulate her "attraction switches"
-- the ones you ignored before, because you were too busy
trying to please and impress her.
To your success with girls.
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