Here're a collection of those rib tickling innuendoes to make you laugh.
Please read on and enjoy.
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2
minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
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If u r married please ignore this
MSG,
For everyone else: Happy Independence Day
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage.
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Girlfriends r like chocolates,
Taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.
Lee Majors
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Al Gore
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Mike Tyson
The great question... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want?
George Clooney
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W. Bush
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Rudy Giuliani
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage."
Michae Jordan
"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second
one didn't." The third gave me more children!
Donald Trump
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Shaquille O'Neal
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once...
Kobe Bryant
You know what I did before I married? Anything wanted to.
David Hasselhoff
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Alec Baldwin
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Barack Obama
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Tommy Lee
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."
Brad Pitt
First Guy (proudly): "M wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Jimmy Kimmel
"Honey, what happened to 'ladies first'?" Husband replies, "That's the
reason why the world's a mess today, because a lady went first!"
David Letterman
"First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing!
Jay Leno
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