How Dale Carnegie Self-Helped Charles Manson

By Diane Brady
Source: Bloomberg Businessweek

Dale Carnegie Training, the self-help program that's shaped the lives of such people as Warren Buffett, Johnny Cash, and Emeril Lagasse, can claim an additional ardent disciple: Charles Manson.

In his new book, Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson, author Jeff Guinn credits Carnegie training with transforming Manson from "a low-level pimp" to the "frighteningly effective sociopath" who created a cult of killers in the late 1960s.

Manson took classes in How to Win Friends and Influence People, based on Carnegie's iconic book, while doing time for car theft in a California federal prison in 1957. "It was critical in shaping how he manipulated people," says Guinn, noting that the young convict told people he'd enrolled to get strangers to open up to him.

Manson became especially obsessed with Chapter Seven, on how to get cooperation, and often practiced key lines in his cell, a former prison mate told Guinn. Carnegie's advice—"Let the other fellow feel that the idea is his"—became vital in helping him recruit and control a band composed mostly of young women. Former "Family" members Patricia Krenwinkel and Leslie Van Houten (who was denied her 20th bid for parole last month) both say Manson mastered the technique: Not only did he often solicit and praise his followers' advice, he was careful to frame every killing as a Family decision.

Jackie Kellso, who runs Dale Carnegie courses in New York, says, "it's a very hard concept to understand." The notion of letting others take credit for your ideas goes against what most people are taught, she explains, yet "it's fundamental to being a good leader."

Not that producing nimbler and more cunning criminals is the kind of success that boosts a global brand. Guinn says the Hauppage (N.Y.)-based company, which claims 8 million graduates, refused to help with his book. When contacted by Bloomberg Businessweek, a spokeswoman e-mailed a statement that "Dale Carnegie Training does not offer courses in prisons at this time" and focuses instead on working with "corporations, government agencies, individuals, and teams."

The Dale Carnegie website lists the New York City Department of Corrections as a client, however, and prison clubs across the country have won accolades for helping inmates learn life skills. Chris Burke, a spokesman for the Federal Bureau of Prisons, also notes that its 119 facilities boast "a wide variety of training courses available to our inmates, including some locations that offer Toastmasters and Dale Carnegie." The California state prison system in which the 78-year-old Manson is now incarcerated offers similar leadership training.

How people incorporate the lessons is up to them. As Carnegie himself wrote in his 1948 book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: "Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw stars." With Manson not eligible for parole until 2027, that's the kind of positive attitude he might want to hone.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

The Toughest Question You Have To Answer

The Toughest Question You Have To Answer

Inside of all of us there is a battle being waged.

On one side, there are the defenders of our comfort zone. For each of us the definition of the comfort zone will be quite different. For you, it might be a $75,000 a year job at a major corporation that has traversed the rough waters of the economic crises. You don't dare risk losing that job, your mind says to itself. Let's just sit tight until things return to normal, and then we can think about going out on your own.

On the attacking front, however, is your Big Self (a fantastic phrase I first heard from my friend and mentor, Matt Furey). Despite the fact that your Big Self is trying to break down the doors of your Comfort Zone fortress and smash its walls, the Big Self is actually the good guy in this battle. Your Big Self represents what you could truly accomplish in life.

So it goes. Day in and day out, the Big Self wakes up strong and mighty, and might make a little progress, particularly if you participate in an early morning Big Thinking session.

But then the real world gets in the way, delivering reinforcements to the frontlines of the Comfort Zone defenders. These reinforcements come in the way of excuses, negative naysayers, fear, lack of self-confidence or self-control, and the bad habits we've built up over our four to five decades of life.

At the end of the day, the battle is much like those waged on the fields of France in World War I. A lot of carnage on both sides for inches gained and subsequently lost.

And that is why you are in the same spot today as you were twelve months ago, only just a year older.

Today I'll show you how to break through the stalemate.

But it will only work if you are willing to set down your weapons and stop protecting yourself for a while. Call a truce on the battlefield. Have each side bring out its best thinkers and have them work together as one on this big thinking exercise.

Recently I made this same challenge to over 150 personal trainers on the final day of my Turbulence Training Summit. Over the course of two days, my guest experts and I had stood and delivered complete blueprints to becoming better trainers and for getting more clients.

But this being the 3rd year for the annual event, I knew that many people in the audience would go home, let life get in the way, and return for the 4th TT Summit next year without having made any significant changes.

I wasn't going to let that happen again, and I won't let that happen to you.

That meant I had to challenge the attendees. I had to show them exactly how to make the mental changes that would allow their Big Self to win the battle.

After I summarized the best moments of the weekend, I paused for dramatic effect, made eye contact with as many people in the room that dared to look at me, and asked, "Are you really living as your Big Self? Are you being the Limitless Leaders that I know you can be? Or are you letting Little Limitations hold you back from greatness?"

These were tough questions. They are tough on the ego.

No one, particularly relatively successful people, wants to feel like a disappointment. But we need to be honest. Are we doing all we can with what we have been blessed with in life?

And we have one of my mentors, Dan Kennedy, to thank for this. You see, several years ago I attended one of Kennedy's seminars just outside of Cleveland, Ohio. He covered the topic of internal resistance – something I know is holding back many readers.

Dan said, "The failure to act is much more often the product of inner, emotional resistance than external resistance. To move forward you must give up your story, whether it is excuses about your childhood, lack of education, your 'bad luck', your unsupportive family, your low metabolism, where you live, etc., etc."

It's time to give up your excuses. It's time to overcome your natural inclinations of holding back and staying in your comfort zone. It's time to Man-Up.

It's harsh, but true. As Kennedy explained, what separates the leaders from the strugglers is often confidence and follow-through, both of which can be derailed by internal resistance. That's when he taught me "The Exercise".

Answering these questions is tough on the Ego, but the answers could change your life (if you take action on them). Take the following mental challenge:

1) Ask yourself "The Question":

"Where you would like to be and have known you would like to be but aren't?"

2) Be brutally specific and honest.

3) Now list why you are NOT there.

4) Next, identify the changes you need to make.

5) Then take massive action!

Don't let another year go by stuck in the same place!

You must identify the causes of your internal resistance. Ask yourself "Why?" you want something but refuse to act in congruence with achieving it.

Either say "no" to achievement OR dig in and get to the bottom of the persistent incongruence between what you say and what you do. It is OK to admit you are not willing to pay the price – and by doing so, that will stop self-sabotage. Once you know the enemy, then you can work on overcoming it.

Listen, I know Kennedy can be a little gruff and grumpy, but he speaks the truth and has your best interests at heart. In fact, it's almost like he's channelling the wise philosophers of Ancient Greece. I'm currently re-reading a book called, "The Art of Living", which is a translation of teachings from the Stoic philosopher, Epictetus. In it, I discovered this wisdom:

"Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. Once you have determined the spiritual principles you wish to exemplify, abide by these rules as if they were laws, as if it were indeed sinful to compromise them. Don't mind if others don't share your convictions. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer. Put your principles into practice – now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! You aren't a child anymore. The sooner you set yourself to your spiritual program, the happier you will be. The longer you wait, the more you'll be vulnerable to mediocrity and feel filled with shame and regret, because you know you are capable of better. From this instant on, vow to stop disappointing yourself. Separate yourself from the mob. Decide to be extraordinary and do what you n eed to do – now."

Take the challenges set forth by Kennedy and Epictetus.

Identify what is holding you back.

Release the brakes.

Become the Big Self and Limitless Leader that I know you can be.

Overcome your obstacles. Defeat your internal resistance. Never give up on what is important to you. So much can be accomplished with a long-term vision and resilience to short term setbacks. If you persist and never give in, you WILL succeed. You can have the life of your dreams while helping and transforming the lives of millions.

Get out there and take action today. Throw the rock of helping into the pond of transformation and watch as the ripples take shape.

Change a life today – starting with yours.

Craig Ballantyne

Craig Ballantyne is the editor of Early to Rise (Join him on Facebook here - www.SuccessQnA.com) and author of Financial Independence Monthly and Turbulence Training. He is also the co-creator of the Early to Rise $100,000 Transformation Contest. Though this round of the Transformation Contest has closed it's not too late to get access to all the helpful tools and advice that has helped many people make a positive change in their lives. Get started on your major life transformations today at www.TransformationContest.com.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

How to Fall Asleep In Less Than 30 Seconds

By Steve Pavlina

Does it take you a while to fall asleep at night? Do you find your mind dwelling on various thoughts before you're able to finally drift off and relax into sleep? Do you find that you just aren't sleepy enough when it's time for bed?

Realize that if it takes you 15 minutes on average to fall asleep each night, that's more than 91 hours per year that you're wasting. This is the equivalent of spending more than two 40-hour work weeks just lying in bed waiting to fall asleep.

And if you have insomniac tendencies and take more than an hour to fall asleep each night, you're spending more than nine 40-hour weeks on that pointless activity — every year. That's a tremendous amount of wasted time.

If you'd like to change this situation, keep reading. I'll explain the details and share a process for training your brain to fall asleep almost instantly when you're ready to go to bed.

Drop Caffeine (at Least Initially)

First, if you drink coffee, tea (including green tea and white tea), yerba mate, cola, or any caffeinated beverages on a semi-regular basis, this method won't work very well at all, so I strongly recommend that you get off all caffeine for at least 2 weeks before you attempt to make improvements in this area. I also advise that you drop chocolate during this time as well, including cocoa and cacao, since those contain stimulants too.

Even a small cup of coffee in the morning can disrupt your ability to fall asleep quickly at night. You may also sleep less restfully, and you'll be prone to awaken more often throughout the night. Consequently, you may wake up tired and need extra sleep.

Simply eliminating all caffeine from your diet can improve your sleep habits tremendously. So if you haven't already done that, please do that first before you attempt the training method I explain later in this article.

If you really love your caffeine though, the good news is that it's okay to add it back once you've gone through this adaptation training. It will still disrupt your sleep a bit, but once you've mastered the habit of being able to fall asleep in 30 seconds or less, then most likely you'll still be able to continue the habit even if you consume some caffeine during the day.

Train Your Brain to Fall Asleep Faster

A decade ago it might have taken me 15-30 minutes to fall asleep most nights. Sometimes it would take more than an hour if I had a lot on my mind. And very occasionally I could fall asleep within 5 minutes or less if I was very sleepy.

Today it's fairly normal for me to fall asleep within 30 seconds or less, and often I'm able to fall asleep in less than 1 second. My best is probably around 1/4 of a second.

How do I know this? Because I have a witness that tells me how long I was out. I also know that I was sleeping because I awaken with the memory of a dream. If my sleep time is only a second or a fraction of a second, then it's obviously a very short dream. Some time dilation occurs though, so a 1-second dream may feel significantly longer… perhaps as if 5-10 seconds have passed within the dream world.

Is this narcolepsy? No, narcolepsy is very different. I don't just fall asleep at odd times throughout the day, and I don't have excessive daytime sleepiness. Most days I don't take any naps. One thing I do have in common with narcoleptics is that I can start having dreams immediately when I fall asleep, whereas most people don't enter the dream state for at least an hour. I regard this as a positive adaptation though, not a problem or defect.

I can't normally force myself to sleep when I'm not at all sleepy. But when I'm ready to go to sleep, I can go to sleep very quickly without wasting time trying to fall asleep.

I'm not able to do this 100% perfectly. If I have a stressful day and there's a lot on my mind at night, I may find it more difficult to relax and go to sleep. But most of the time under normal, average conditions, I can get to sleep within 30 seconds or less.

I reached this point not by the exertion of conscious will but rather through a long-term process of sleep training. So don't think that there's some mental trick that you can use right away to make this happen instantly. However, once you've trained yourself to this point, the process is effortless. You'll be able to do it automatically. It will be no more difficult than blinking.

Understanding the Training Process

The training process may take a long time — months or even years, depending on how far you want to go — but it's not at all difficult, and it needn't take a serious time commitment. In fact, the training will most likely save you a significant amount of time. The only challenging part is maintaining consistency long enough to get results.

First consider that it's possible for you to fall asleep faster. Have you ever been really tired and sleepy at the end of a day, and you fell asleep very quickly after getting into bed? Have you ever drifted off while watching a movie or reading a book? Have you ever fallen asleep within less than 2 minutes after lying down? If you've done it before, then consider the possibility that your brain already knows how to fall asleep quickly, and if you create the right conditions, then you're capable of doing this again. You just need to train your brain to do this more consistently.

The main reason that you aren't falling asleep faster is that you haven't trained your brain to do so. You may be able to reach that point eventually, but you're not there yet. Similarly, you may be able to do the splits if you engage in flexibility training, but in the absence of such training, you probably won't be able to do the splits at all.

If you want to fall asleep faster, you must incentivize your brain to drop all other activity and immediately transition into sleep when you desire to do so. That is the essence of this approach. If there are few consequences for a lazy approach to falling asleep, then your brain will continue to be lazy and inefficient in this area. You haven't given it a good enough reason to select more efficient behaviors.

Your brain is always active, even during deep sleep, and it operates in different modes of consciousness, including beta (waking), alpha, theta, and delta phases. When you lie in bed waiting for sleep, you're waiting for your brain to switch modes. An untrained brain will often take its own sweet time making the necessary state change. So you may dwell on other thoughts… or toss and turn… or just lie awake until your brain is finally ready to transition. This is a common experience. Without incentives to become more efficient, your brain will remain naturally lazy by default.

Your conscious mind might very much like to go to sleep, but it isn't in charge. Your subconscious determines when you fall asleep. If your subconscious mind is in no hurry to fall asleep, then your conscious mind will have a hard time forcing it. In fact, your subconscious may continue to bubble up thoughts and ideas to occupy your conscious mind, distracting you with mental clutter instead of letting you relax and slide into sleep.

A trained subconscious mind is obedient and fast. When the conscious mind says to sleep, the subconscious activates sleep mode immediately. But this only works if you're feeling at least partially sleepy. If the subconscious doesn't agree with the need for sleep, it can still reject the request.

The process I'll share next will teach your brain that putzing around isn't an option anymore and that when you decide to go to sleep, it needs to transition immediately and without delay.

The process involves using short, timed naps to train your brain to fall asleep more quickly. Here's how it works:The Process

If and when you feel drowsy at some point during the day, give yourself permission to take a 20-minute nap. But only allow yourself exactly 20 minutes total. Use a timer to set an alarm. I often do this by using Siri on my iPhone by saying, "Set a timer for 20 minutes" or "Wake me up in 20 minutes." The first one sets a countdown timer, while the later phrase sets an alarm to go off at a specific time. Sometimes I prefer to use a kitchen timer with a 20-minute countdown.

Begin the timer as soon as you lie down for your nap. Whether you sleep or not, and regardless of how long it takes you to fall asleep, you have 20 minutes total for this activity… not a minute more.

Simply relax and allow yourself to fall asleep as you normally would. You don't have to do anything special here, so don't try to force it. If you fall asleep, great. If you just lie there awake for 20 minutes, also great. And if you sleep for some fraction of the time, that's perfectly okay too.

At the end of the 20 minutes, you must get up immediately. No lingering. This part is crucial. If you're tempted to continue napping after the alarm goes off, then put the alarm across the room so you have to get up to turn it off. Or have someone else forcibly yank you off the couch or bed when they hear the alarm. But no matter what, get up immediately. The nap is over. If you're still tired, you can take another nap later — wait at least an hour — but don't let yourself go back to sleep right away.

I think it's best to do your nap practice during the day if you can, but you can also do it in the evening, as long as it's at least an hour before your normal bedtime. Perhaps the best time for an evening nap is right after dinner, when many people feel a little sleepy.

You don't have to take the naps every day, but do them at least a few times a week if you can. I think the ideal practice would be one nap per day.

The next part of this process is to always wake up with an alarm in the morning. Set your alarm for a fixed time every day, seven days a week. When your alarm goes off each morning, get up immediately regardless of how much sleep you actually got. Again, no lingering.

Now when you go to bed at night, seek to go to bed at a time that will essentially require you to be sleeping the whole time you're in bed in order to feel well rested in the morning. So if you feel you need a good 7 hours of sleep each night to feel rested, and you plan to get up at 5am every morning, then get yourself into bed and ready to sleep at about 10pm. If you take 30 minutes to fall asleep, then you're getting less sleep than you need, and this is a disincentive to continuing that wasteful habit.

The message you're sending to your brain is that the time you have to sleep is limited. You are going to get out of bed after a certain number of hours no matter what. You're going to get up from your nap after a specific amount of time no matter what. So if your brain wants to sleep, it had better learn to go to sleep quickly and use the maximum time allotted for sleep. If it wastes time falling asleep, then it misses out on that extra sleep, and it will not have the opportunity to make it up by sleeping in later. Sleep time squandered is sleep time lost.

When you go to bed whenever and allow yourself to get up whenever, you reward your brain for continued laziness and inefficiency. It's fine if you take a half hour to fall asleep since your brain knows it can just sleep in later. If you awaken with an alarm but go to bed earlier than necessary to compensate for the time it takes you to fall asleep, your still tell your brain that it's fine to waste time transitioning to sleep because there's still enough extra time to get the rest it needs.

Coffee and chocolate are also crutches because if you don't get enough sleep, your brain can come to rely on a stimulant to keep it going when necessary. If you remove these outs, then your brain will soon connect the dots. It will learn that taking too long to fall asleep equals not getting enough sleep, which means going through the day tired and sleepy. By closing the door on potential outs like stimulants and extra snooze time, you leave only one remaining option for a solution. Sooner or later your brain will determine that going to sleep faster is indeed the solution, and it will adapt by transitioning into sleep much more quickly, so as to secure the full amount of rest it desires.

Instead of continuing to give your brain the message that oversleeping is okay or that stimulants are available, begin to condition it to understand that sleep time is a limited resource. Your brain is naturally good at optimizing scarce physiological resources; it evolved to do so over a long period of time. So if sleep time appears to be a limited resource, your brain can learn to optimize its use of this resource just as it has learned to optimize the use of oxygen and sugar.

Once you get used to 20-minute naps — or if you don't have that much time available for napping — try napping for shorter intervals. Give yourself 15, 10, or even 5 minutes for each nap. I sometimes take 3-4 minute naps (with a timer), which are surprisingly refreshing, but only if I fall asleep quickly.If you get sleepy during the day as a result of limiting your sleep time at night, that's perfectly okay. Take naps as needed. It's okay to take multiple naps during the day if you need to, but keep them limited to 20 minutes max, and don't have two naps within an hour of each other. Whenever you get up, stay up for at least an hour.

Teach your brain that a 20-minute nap means 20 minutes of total time lying down. If your brain wants to ruminate during part of that time, it always means less sleep.

Also teach your brain that X number of hours in bed at night is all it gets, and so if it wants to get enough sleep, it had better spend virtually all of that time sleeping. If it spends time on non-sleep activity, it always robs itself of some sleep.

Once you've adapted and you're able to fall asleep quickly when you desire to do so, you can slack off on the training process, ditch the alarm, and wake up whenever you want. Most likely the training will stick. You can even add the caffeine back if you so desire. But for a period of at least a couple months to start, I recommend being strict about it. Take naps regularly, and use an alarm to get up at a consistent time every single day.

I still prefer to get up with an alarm most days. I don't need it to fall asleep quickly, but I tend to linger in bed more than necessary without the alarm.

If this is too strict for you, I doubt you'll succeed with this approach. If you give your brain an easy out, it will take that out, and it won't learn the adaptation you're trying to teach it here.

Everyone is different, so how long it takes you to adapt depends on your particular brain. I'm sure some people will adapt fairly quickly, within a few weeks, while others may take significantly longer. There are many factors that can influence the results, with perhaps the biggest one being your diet. In general, a lighter, healthier, and more natural diet will make it significantly easier to adapt to any sort of sleep changes. Regular exercise also makes it easier to adapt to sleep changes; cardio exercise in particular helps to rebalance hormones and neurotransmitters, many of which are involved in regulating sleep cycles. If you eat a heavily processed diet (i.e. shopping mostly outside the produce section) and you don't exercise much, just be aware that I rarely see such people succeed with worthwhile sleep changes of any kind.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

The Key to Happiness

Did you know that your ability to achieve your own happiness is the key measure of your success, of how well you are doing as a person?

You learn the key to happiness that has been the same through all of history. You learn how to dispel the two myths that may be holding you back and how to achieve more happiness in everything you do.

Dedicate Yourself to Your Best Talents

The key to happiness is this: dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself.

This is a big statement and a big commitment. Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw your whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish in order to develop yourself to a point where you can be unselfish for the rest of your life.

Please Yourself First

In Edmond Rostand's play Cyrano de Bergerac, Cyrano is asked why he is so intensely individualistic and unconcerned with the opinions and judgments of others. He replies with these wonderful words: "I am what I am because early in life I decided that I would please at least myself in all things."

Your happiness likewise depends upon your ability to please at least yourself in all things. You can be happy only when you are living your life in the very best way possible. No one can define happiness for you. Only you know what makes you happy. Happiness is an inside job.

Your Happiness is Up to You

The biggest myth about happiness is when people say that it is not legitimate or correct for you to put your happiness ahead of everyone else's. Throughout my life, I've met people who have said that it is more important to make other people happy than it is to make yourself happy. This is nonsense.

The fact is that you can't give away to anyone else what you don't have for yourself. Just as you can't give money to the poor if you don't have any, you can't make someone else happy if you yourself are miserable.

The very best way to assure the happiness of others is to be happy yourself and then to share your happiness with them. Suffering and self-sacrifice merely depress and discourage other people. If you want to make others happy, start by living the kind of life and doing the kind of things that make you happy.

Action Exercises

Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, define for yourself the activities that you really love and enjoy, at home and work, and then organize your life so you do more of them.

Second, believe in yourself and trust your own feelings. Then, please at least yourself in all things.

Third, determine what it is that you do that brings the most happiness to others and then organize your life so that you can do more of it.

Brian Tracy

Brought to you by: Lawyer Asad

5 Ways Meditation Can Make You Happier and More Successful at Work

Deepak Chopra MD (official)

Founder, Chopra Foundation

Whether you work from home or in a corporate high rise, taking a little time each day to rest in the inner quiet of meditation will protect your mind-body balance, help you stay centered and calm, and open you to your highest potential for creativity and success.

As the popularity of meditation grows in the West, we now have access to thousands of ancient and modern techniques. It can feel overwhelming to know where to begin, so to help people get started, at the Chopra Center we launched the 21-Day Meditation Challenge™– a free, online experience where I offer daily instruction and guidance in the practice of meditation. We have been honored that more than a million participants have joined us for the meditation challenge so far, including thousands of busy professionals, parents, and others who have enjoyed the convenience of being able to access the daily meditations at any time and from anywhere in the world via their mobiles devices. 

Now let's look at the five ways that meditation can help you prevent burnout, and experience more fulfillment and happiness at work.

1. Meditation Reduces Stress

Chronic, unmanaged stress can make you sick and accelerate aging. As many scientific studies have found, prolonged stress contributes to the development of high blood pressure, heart disease, stomach ulcers, autoimmune diseases, anxiety, cancer, insomnia, chronic fatigue, obesity, and depression.

In meditation, your body releases stress and reverses the effects of the flight-or-fight response – that ancient instinct we all have to either run from perceived danger or take it on in battle. Intended as a short-term protection mechanism, fight or flight causes our body to speed up our heart rate, increase our blood sugar, suppress our immune system, reduce insulin production, pump out stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and reduce the blood supply to our digestive organs. All of these reactions happen so that our body can focus on either running away as fast as it can – or staying to fight. Although few people reading this article face daily threats to their bodily existence, many live in a prolonged state of fight or flight, generating stress in response to bad traffic, criticism from a supervisor, or a workplace disagreement.

2. Meditation Helps You Create Harmonious Relationships

When you're feeling balanced and centered, it is much easier to respond rather than react, to be present with a client or co-worker and really listen to what they are saying and what they may need.

As you meditate on a regular basis, you develop what is known as "witnessing awareness" – the ability to calmly and objectively observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond. The ability to be present and aware is valuable in the workplace and every other area of your life. During the upcoming Meditation Challenge we will be focusing on specific tools and approaches to creating relationships that support greater happiness and fulfillment in our lives.

3. Meditation Improves Focus and Concentration

Many people feel frazzled because they're trying to do more than one thing at a time. As neuroscientists have discovered, the conscious brain cannot multitask. If I'm speaking to you and checking my emails at the same time, I'm doing neither. Meditation helps us to train our brain to stay focused on the task at hand rather than letting our attention be pulled away by every passing thought and distraction. This one-pointed attention makes us more productive and less stressed.

There is a lot of interesting research showing how meditation and mindfulness improve the brain's focus and concentration. A study carried out by the Kyoto Convention Bureau found that when people meditated for at least ten minutes before a meeting, they were much better at focusing, listening, retaining information, and completing tasks. The next time you're leading or attending a meeting, you may want to suggest just a few minutes of meditation for everyone to get centered and present. It doesn't have to be complicated – just have people close their eyes and focus on their breath for a minute or two.

4. Meditation Enhances Your Creativity

We each have between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts a day – unfortunately, many of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, and last year. The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration. Meditation takes us beyond habitual, conditioned thought patterns into a state of expanded awareness. We connect to what is known as the field of infinite possibilities or pure potentiality, and we open and receptive to new ideas, fresh perspectives, and flashes of insight. 

The world's great innovators, athletes, and other high achievers have described this state as "being in the flow," being in the right place at the right time, or a state of grace. Time seems to stand still and instead of struggling and trying to force things to happen, everything you need comes naturally to you. You do less and accomplish more. You aren't burdened by the past or worried about the future; you're flowing in the ever-present, eternal now. This higher state of consciousness, which we can access through meditation, is the birthplace of all creativity.

5. Meditation Improves Health and Vitality and Enhances the Power of the Brain

When we're feeling healthy and energetic, it is much easier to stay focused and meet the daily demands of work. Meditation is now recognized as a healing tool with numerous benefits for the mind-body system. In the state of restful awareness created by meditation:

• Your blood pressure normalizes
• Your heart rate slows
• Your immune function improves
• You use oxygen more efficiently
• You produce fewer stress hormones, such as adrenaline, cortisol
• You make more sex hormones particularly DHEA
• Your pituitary gland release more growth hormone (an anti-aging chemical)

In addition to all of these benefits, the deep state of rest produced by meditation triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters that enhance feelings of wellbeing, focus, and equanimity, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Meditation choreographs the simultaneous release of these neurotransmitters, something that no single drug can do – and all without side effects.

Circulated by: Lawyer Asad

5 Reasons Why You Don’t Have the Friends You Want

In this article, I'd like to share with you 5 of the most common reasons why people stay either lonely, or keep hanging out with the wrong friends. Read on to discover what these reasons are, and how to overcome them…

Reason #1: Thinking That The Best People Have Enough Friends Already

It's true that amazing people are in demand. However, many, many great people still want new friends, but don't know how to go about it.

The challenge is that your mind tricks you into believing that the right friends for you are already "taken". This phenomenon happens especially if you're lonely, or if you feel that you don't have friends that really understand you.

The lonelier you are, the more likely you'll compare yourself with the most popular people around, and therefore think that you're the only one who doesn't have enough friends. If you just shift your focus, you'll find lots of people who are interesting and fun, who would love to meet new people, just like you.

Reason #2 : You Think You're Not Interesting

This is a big reason that can hold you back from reaching out to people. It's hard to work up the courage to socialize with someone when you're asking yourself "what if they don't like me!" The way you can overcome this is by realizing that you're not for everyone.

You're not a generic person who can fit with any type of crowd. Some will be bored with you, but others will love to hang out with you. If you accept that, your confidence will sky rocket. Your mission is to find people who need people like you in their life. Your mission is not to please everyone.

Reason #3: Some Friends Disappointed You In The Past, And You're Afraid To Have The Same Experience

If you've been disappointed, screwed over, or betrayed by some friends in the past, then you know that the friendship world is far from being perfect. But, if your conclusion was that you should be careful not to trust anyone ever again, then that's a problem.

You need to look at this in a different way. Instead of being optimistic about it for a while, then pessimistic for a while, and switching back and forth, look at it this way: making friends is a skill.

Whatever happens to you as you deal with people, celebrate it as a lesson. Learn from your past, learn how to spot selfish and destructive people better. Also, learn how to spot great people better. These skills will give you more and more experience in spotting great people, right away.

Reason #4: Whenever You Try To Make New Friends, It Doesn't Seem To Work

Making friends is not something you do just occasionally. What happens is that you get to a place where you have to make friends, psych yourself into doing it, try it for a couple of weeks, then drop it off.

This happens because you don't have a clear plan that gets you from loneliness to having a circle of friends that understand and like you. And by not knowing exactly where to go, and exactly what to do, you get lost and discouraged.

You need to accept that friendship is a skill, and you have the right to learn it. You're not supposed to be born with it.

Reason #5: You Have Strong "Loner Habits" That You Can't Change

As you decide to make your life more social, you don't need to radically change your habits. If you have developed strong habits that keep you from socializing, then you need to start new ones, that will eventually grow and become strong, as well.

Here are two very effective habits you can start developing right now:

• First, put a weekly reminder in your calendar, that reminds you to : shoot a message to some people you know; follow up with people you met recently; and/or find new ways of making friends in your area. Start by spending just one hour each week doing this.
• Second, find an interest group or community that is about something you love. The only condition is that this community should hold regular get togethers that you can be attending, at least once a month.

Just by adding these two habits to your life, you'll realize how easy it is to start socializing and making new friends.

Reason #6: You're Not Subscribed To My Newsletter!

Actually, I'm just kidding. But, if you want to learn more techniques on meeting people, having great conversations, and making friends, then I recommend that you get on my Free Social Skills Newsletter.

In it, I'll share with you the techniques I learned as I went from living a lonely life to having all the amazing friends I can find time for, and now teaching others to do the same.

Good luck,
-Paul Sanders

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

How To Stop Worrying

How To Stop Worrying

I'd like to give you a free book that
shows you how to stop worrying and start living
effectively.

It's called "How To Stop Worrying" and you can
download it here:

http://20daypersuasion.com/stopworrying.htm

Inside this ebook, you will learn:

- 10 actions you can do to jumpstart a worry-free
life.

- Why worrying is dangerous to your health.

- Powerful techniques to reduce worry.

- 4 simple steps for immediate relaxation.

- 15 fun and free ways to spend your time without
worries.

- How to beat financial worries.

- A natural way to alleviate stress and anxiety
from your everyday life.

- And More!

Download it now at:
http://20daypersuasion.com/stopworrying.htm

Hope you benefit from this ebook and please
let me know if there's anything I can help
you with.

Kindest Regards,
Michael Lee

Circulated by: Lawyer Asad

Law Of Opposites

Law Of Opposites

Have you ever paid any attention to the idea that there are "two sides to everything?" Think of how often you have heard that.

Look at your hand. It has a front and a back side. Your body has a right and a left side. The automobile or room you are in has an inside and an outside. You couldn't possibly have one without the other.

This is an orderly universe, of which you are a part. The whole universe is governed by laws.

If you have watched The Secret you heard me quote the father of the space program, the late Dr. Warner Von Braun who said the natural laws of the universe are so precise that we do not have any difficulty today building a space ship, sending a person to the moon and timing the landing with the precision of a fraction of a second.

The law I am referring to today is the Law of Polarity or the Law of Opposites.

If it is a long way up to the top of a building, it must be a long way down. If it is a mile from point A to point B, it must be a mile from point B to point A. They are not only opposite, they are equal and opposite.

Everything that happens in your life today will either appear negative or positive. Keep in mind whatever happens must have a positive side to it.

A large majority of the population seems to be mentally programmed to pay attention to the negative side of life and unfortunately, ignore the positive.

Make a decision right now that, regardless of what happens today, you are going to look for the positive aspect of what's happening. Remember... every cloud has a silver lining. Do this again tomorrow and the next day until it becomes a habit to see the positive in everything. You will feel better, you will be more productive, and you will have more friends.

Bob Proctor

For over 40 years, Bob Proctor has focused his work and teachings on helping people use the power of their mind to achieve prosperity, rewarding relationships and spiritual awareness. His coaching program has helped transform many lives over the years.

Circulated by: Lawyer Asad

How to Kick Fear in the Face

By Jessica Sweet 

"Follow your dreams." "Live for today." "Remember that life is short." "Be kind." "Be confident." "Go for it."

We all know wisdom when we see it. Really, if you think about it, you know what you have to do.

But still, you don't do it.

I recently spent time with a friend who recounted to me her experience of sitting by her dear friend's bedside as she breathed her last breath.

As the friend drifted in and out of this world, she shared the hard-earned brilliance of a woman with nothing to lose.

"Don't do things you don't care about." she said. "If it bores you, stop doing it. Move on."

Too often, I think, we believe that there's something – some knowledge, some pearl of wisdom that will someday reveal itself – perhaps when we too are on the precipice. . .

But actually, I kind of doubt it.

You see, that secret knowledge we're looking for isn't really knowledge at all. The secret of life is not actually new information. It's not some long-guarded ancient mystery.

It's the simple courage to act as if we have nothing to lose.

What we seek, what's missing, is the conviction to act on what we already know to be true.

Most of the time, you know what's right for you. You can imagine, on your deathbed, what you will wish you did. But the thing that holds us back today from acting with that conviction is, of course, fear.

It's fear that prevents you from starting a business.

It's fear that stops you from leaving a relationship you know is wrong for you.

It's fear that hurls insults at you when you contemplate living your adventure.

Fear is stealing your life.

Now most of the time you'll hear people talk about "getting over" fear, or "coping" with fear.

Well, to heck with that.

Fear is like an assailant who sneaks up behind you and tries to choke the life out of you.

Should you "get over" or "cope" with this thug?

No.

You should kick it in the face.

There's no point in being nice when it comes to fear. So here are some tips to help you go all 'Krav Maga' on your fear.

1. Attack your fear where it's weak: Fear enjoys keeping you isolated. It likes knowing that you're too terrified to explore new ideas or talk to friends or family about what you're doing. But the very act of bringing whatever is scaring you into the light of day by very nature makes it less terrifying.

2. Use quick and powerful action: Sometimes you just have to take the leap, and once you've done it, it's done. Fear has no more control over you because you've faced it and done whatever you needed to do despite it. So whether you're jumping out of an airplane or volunteering for a project, sometimes once the door has opened there's no turning back – and there's no more room for fear.

3. Scare your fear: Fear has a way of keeping you small, and preventing you from living the big life you imagine. But if you dwell on the consequences of living a "small" life long enough, that might just scare you into action.

4. Try the belly flop: Sometimes doing something that scares you isn't pretty. I think about the time I went biking with my brother. Well, I still have the scars to prove I did it. It wasn't pretty. But that's ok. I did it anyway.

5. React: Being afraid sometimes stunt-doubles as confusion. Because you're so terrified, you can't seem to gain clarity on what your next move should be. Should you quit? Should you stay? Should you start this new thing?  Trying to find the exact right move is so exhausting. So instead of being paralyzed by fear, do something – almost anything – as long as it will help you move forward. 

6. Go crazy: If fear is trying to ruin your life, why are you just sitting there and taking it? Instead, fight like you mean it. Pull out all the stops. Pull some hair. Bite some fingers.  Find people to talk to, read a lot of books, do some visualization, meditate – do whatever you have to do to kill the fear and strengthen your resolve to move forward.

7. Simple is good: Because fear is so powerful, we sometimes expect the solution to the problem will be elegant and profound (like years of therapy followed by a huge a-ha moment and a cathartic cry). But sometimes the solution is simple. Sometimes it's as straightforward as being distressed, but moving forward nonetheless.

8. Use your strengths: What's going to help you win the fight with fear? Using your natural talents and abilities to propel you forward. If you're a writer, journal about where you want to be. If you're a runner, use the mental discipline you have. If you're funny, use humor to take the situation less seriously. Use what you've got.

Fear is the bump in the night that keeps you frozen, unable to live the life that you want. But you don't have to take it lying down. You can kick fear in the face and move on to whatever you dream of for yourself.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

How to Eliminate Poverty Consciousness and Manifest True Abundance

By Jafree Oswald and Margot Zaher 
Source: The Manifesting Super Gold Pack 

Have you ever wondered how poverty consciousness is created and what you can do to step out of it?

Sometimes it happens that we become overly entangled in the material world and get wrapped up in feeling that we always need more money. This idea of lacking money sends toxic stress chemicals to the brain causing the body to fight or flee for its life.

Anytime we repetitively feel that there is not enough of "this or that", it forms a chemical rut of impoverished thinking in our body-mind which depletes our energy, manifesting vibration, and financial outlook on life. Every time this lacking feeling is regurgitated it creates mini "poverty attacks" in the inner world, which eventually manifest into physically lacking finances on the outer world.

The good news is that this entrapped cyclical experience is only here to give you an experience of what you don't want, so that you are inspired to one day become clearer on what you really DO want! The enlightening secret is that this pattern is easily shifted by simply refocusing your awareness OFF of neediness and ON to feelings of gratitude and appreciation.

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world." ~Buddha

When you put your attention on feelings of acceptance and gratitude for what you do have, you start sending positive expansive feeling based chemicals directly into your brain which are felt throughout your body.

The more frequently these "appreciation chemicals" are produced, the happier you become and the higher your manifesting vibration grows. This vibrational inner shift causes you to physically attract that higher paying job, a huge contract, that wealthy client who loves you, or a sizeable check from that special person in the outer world.

Even though your financial situation may be struggling, impoverished, or absolutely bleak for years, it really does not matter. You can instantly shift into the experience of feeling more abundant and start manifesting abundance! Simply refocus your attention for 24 hours on deep feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Choose to focus on ANYTHING that you can authentically feel deep gratitude for. We live in an abundant conscious Universe. With patience, you will soon begin to see these physical manifestations of abundance come your way.

"Look within, see The Divine Self. Only then there will be an end of the world and its miseries." ~Ramana Maharshi

There is an ancient golden secret to breaking out of the prison of poverty consciousness forever that we'd like to share with you. This secret is to ONLY measure your financial abundance based on the quality and quantity of ABUNDANT FEELINGS you are having.

Meaning that your outer wealth is never going to be 100% trustworthy measurement of how abundant you really are. Anything and everything in the outer world will be taken away from you one day. Abundance based on resources from the outer world is illusory, and is a form of impermanent abundance.

The true permanent state of richness only comes from being connected to the divinity within. Appreciating what is here now or the goodies that are coming your way is the fastest path to getting there. Yes, there are many multi-millionaires in this world who aren't very appreciative, still don't FEEL rich and are continuously striving to become wealthy. Even though they have plenty of dough, they are still letting themselves remain entrapped in the realm of poverty consciousness.

Consistent gratitude is the easy track to ending poverty internally and externally. When your abundance is measured by how deeply you FEEL abundant and how often you visit this feeling, then your experience of being rich is truly unstoppable. This is the most direct path to financially magnetizing massive abundance to you in the outer world.

"You are not inferior Beings in need of enlightenment…you are not misguided children trying to find your way home. You are powerful Leading-Edge creators riding the most significant wave of expansion that has ever occurred." ~Abraham-Hicks

Now that you know this secret, be curious about the beliefs you are repetitively having about your current financial situation. We all have hidden beliefs that are running the show behind the scenes. If somehow you have a deeper belief that you must work harder in order to be truly successful, then that is exactly what you will create.

Go deeper inside. Explore what is beneath those old paradigms that make you struggle more, work harder (and not smarter) to achieve unnecessary stress and make you feel less successful and abundant. There is a much more expansive, empowering belief system available. You can begin to form these new beliefs today by living as if you have already arrived at this abundant life that you love.

So start relaxing while you're at work, appreciating that electric bill that gives you light. Go and have that special experience that you've always wanted, and really enjoy this amazing body and creative mind that have been freely given to you! As you consistently appreciate this divine manifesting vehicle that you are living in, you'll notice how each day of your life unfolds itself in the most magical and abundant ways.

Have an Amazingly Appreciative Abundant Week!!
Jafree & Margot

Edited by: Lawyer Asad