Sunday, March 31, 2013

9 Tips to Quit Nagging

9 Tips to Quit Nagging

Gretchen Rubin


Bestselling author; blogger www.happiness-project.com

Being a nag is just as unpleasant as being nagged — so finding strategies to stop nagging brings a real happiness boost to a relationship.
But though no one enjoys an atmosphere of nagging, in marriage or any partnership, chores are a huge source of conflict. How do you get your sweetheart to hold up his or her end, without nagging?
Here are some strategies that have worked for me:
1. Don't insist that a task be done on your schedule. "You've got to get those boxes into storage today!" Says who? Try, "When are you planning to deal with the boxes?" If possible, show why something needs to be done by a certain time. "Will you be able to get the boxes out of the hall before your family comes over next week?"
2. Remind your partner that it's better to decline a task than to break a promise. My husband told me that he'd emailed some friends to tell them we had to miss their dinner party to go to a family dinner—but he hadn't. Then I had to cancel at the last minute, it was incredibly rude, and I was enraged. Now I tell him, "You don't have to do it. But tell me, so I can it."
3. Every once in a while, do your sweetheart's task, for a treat. This kind of pitching-in wins enormous goodwill.
4. Assign chores based on personal priorities. I hate a messy bedroom more than my husband, but he hates a messy kitchen more than I. So I do more tidying in the bedroom, and he does more in the kitchen.
5. Settle for a partial victory. My husband used never to return my emails. Now he sometimes returns my emails. That's progress.
6. Re-frame: decide that you don't mind doing a chore — like putting clothes in the hamper or hanging up wet towels. This is easier than you'd think. I used to think, "I don't like making the bed." Then I realized, "Actually, I like making the bed."
7. No carping from the sidelines. If your partner got the kids dressed, don't criticize the outfits. If you want something done your way, do it yourself.
8. Think about how money might be able to buy some happiness. Could you find a teenager to mow the lawn? Could you hire a weekly cleaning service? Could you buy prepared foods a few nights a week? These days, money is very tight, but eliminating conflict in a relationship is a high happiness priority, so this is a place to spend money if you can, and if it can help.
9. Most helpful: Do a task yourself. I used to be annoyed with my husband because we never had cash in the house. Then I realized: why did I get to assign that job? Now I do it, and we always have cash, and I'm not annoyed.
If you want suggestions about how to stop being nagged, here are 8 tips to stop the nagging.
Also, sometimes one person is absolutely oblivious for the need for chores to be done. That person just doesn't notice, and doesn't care. In that case, it's hard to know what to do. I have it easy, because if anything, my husband is more chore-oriented than I am. I'm anaggee as well as a nagger. If that's your situation — what do you do? What advice to do you offer?
Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Saturday, March 30, 2013

6 Lazy Ways to Trick Your Brain Into Being Productive

6 Lazy Ways to Trick Your Brain Into Being Productive

By Thorin Klosowski / Source: LifeHacker

Forcing yourself to be productive is tough, but it's not just willpower and self-control that help you to get things done. You can also pull little tricks on your brain to make it work harder, like adjusting the temperature or looking at cute pictures of animals. Here are a few scientifically-backed ways to boost your productivity without even trying.

Our brains are mysterious things. We enjoy hot chocolate from orange cups more than others, we eat less off smaller plates, and we can potentially reduce stress with a simple smile. These weird magic tricks our brain play are simple enough to perform on yourself, and a few of them can be used make yourself more productive.

Use Your Procrastination to Your Advantage

We all have dreaded tasks on our to-do lists. While science suggests the best way to power through those awful tasks is to just get started, you can also take another approach and trick your brain into making those tasks less dreadful. This is called productive procrastination, and creativity site 99Uexplains how it works:

[T]he mental trick is to regard other tasks as more important in order to make Very Important Task an easier choice.

Rank projects that seem quite significant yet have more flexible deadlines at the top instead, like reorganizing your workspace or learning a new technique. You'll probably also find that there are newer Very Important Tasks that have joined your list, making that original one look all the more alluring.

Essentially, you're performing a mental trick that makes the task you're dreading less substantial by moving it down on your priority list. When you complete each smaller task, the bigger one seems like less of a pain. Productive procrastination isn't going to work every time, but it's certainly helpful now and again on those days where you're having trouble getting started.

Use Your Office Lighting and Temperature to Boost Productivity

It probably comes as no surprise that your environment has a lot to do with your productivity. While we've talked about triggers in your workspace before, and temperature and lighting are big ones. In fact, as Leo Widrich points out at the Buffer blog, regulating both can provide a boon to your productivity, and you hardly have to lift a finger. Widrich points to one study from Cornell that examined temperature and productivity:

When temperatures were low (68 degrees or 20 degrees Celsius) employees made 44% more mistakes than at optimal room temperature (77 degrees or 25 degrees Celsius).

Essentially, you want to regulate the temperature in your office. That means grabbing a space heater (or air conditioner in the summer), or at least keeping yourself warm with a sweater. It's not just temperature, either. Lighting plays a role in productivity too. While direct research on lighting is still fresh, we do know that more exposure to daylight can imrpove productivity. While we've debunked the myth that getting up early makes you more productive, one big benefit of waking up earlier is that you get more time in the natural light of the sun.

That said, the wrong kind of lighting can cause eye fatigue and have a negative effect on your productivity. So, if your computer screen is getting a lot of glare, or you're forced to work under a direct light, it's important to prevent eyestrain by taking breaks, wearing computer glasses, or using an app like F.lux that changes the color temperature of your screen based on the time of the day. The less fatigue you have, the more likely you'll remain productive. Photo by Nicholas Todd.

Take Your Work to a Coffee Shop

If you're the type who likes to focus in on a job, cut yourself off from the world, and power through work, it might sound counterintuitive that the ambient noise of a coffee shop can actually help you focus. As odd as it sounds, studies do show that the ambient buzz of a coffee shop makes us more productive. As The Wall Street Journal points out, it's all about hitting the right level of distraction to get that productive boost:

[This] adds to research suggesting that small doses of distraction—including hard-to-read fonts—prompt the mind to work at a more abstract level, which is also a more creative level. [...]There's a sweet spot between silence and din.

Of course, everyone is a little different, and your results may vary. If you're stuck in the middle of an unproductive day, getting out of the office and into a noisy coffee shop is one way to trick your brain into working a little harder, no willpower required. Photo by dailylifeofmojo.

Take a Nap

It's not exactly easy to take a nap in the middle of the day, but it turns out a perfectly timed nap boosts your productivity more than you'd think. The best time for a power nap is between 1:00 and 3:00 PM in the afternoon, and you should keep it at about 15 to 20 minutes for maximum benefit.

Our own Adam Dachis gave this a shot himself, and found that it worked well for him. A perfectly timed nap has all types of benefits, including boosting your memory, your cognitive ability, and enhancing your overall performance.

Timing the perfect nap is dependent on when you wake up in the morning, but this interactive nap wheel helps you nail down the right time. The perfect nap may be the laziest way to boost your productivity, but it's certainly one of the most effective.

Play Unfamiliar Music While You're Working

The direct effect of listening to music to boost productivity is still inconclusive, but we do know that music can increase your mood by releasing dopamine. To anyone who has cranked up their favorite song to power through a day of monotonous work this sounds like common sense, but it's possible that listening to unfamiliar music is actually better for focus. The music service Focus at Will describes it like so:

[T]he single most important factor to consider when choosing a genre is what kind of music you usually listen to for fun and entertainment when you are not trying to be productive. And then, counter-intuitively, it's best to select the very opposite kind of music.... Why? Because your brain gets pleasure, releasing dopamine when it hears music you like and listen to a lot, and music that is associated with good times or strong memories of any kind will reduce the focus enhancing effects when used as a productivity tool. So if you never listen to classical music, try it for this, and the opposite is true, if you always listen to jazz, then try the ambient channel.

This approach doesn't necessarily work if you're a musician or you listen to music critically, but if you're the type to just throw something on in the background, playing music you don't know might be all you need to concentrate on the task at hand.

Look at Photos of Cute Baby Animals

We'll end with one of the stranger research findings we've seen: looking at cute baby animals can actually improve your concentration and productivity. The study, conducted by Hiroshima University in Japan, found that looking at pleasent and cute images increases concentration. After looking at cute animals, participants in the study increased their performance in concentration tasks by an astounding 44 percent. Researchers were unclear of exactly why the pictures increased concentration, but they have a theory:

Caring for babies (nurturance) not only involves tender treatments but also requires careful attention to the targets' physical and mental states as well as vigilance against possible threats to the targets. If viewing cute things makes the viewer more attentive, the performance of a non-motor perceptual task would also be improved.

While it's by no means a definitive study, it echoes similar theories that temptations like reality TV and cute YouTube videos are beneficial for productivity as well. Next time you're feeling a little zapped of concentration, tune into some adorable animals for a couple minutes and see what happens.

As with any little brain hack and power-up, overuse of these techniques will likely make them stop working. They're also not a replacement for a good productivity system and an optimized schedule. That said, if you're stuck one day and you can't seem to get things done, a change of location, a break to look at adorable animals, or some new music might be all you need.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Friday, March 29, 2013

5-Second Test of Your Professional Confidence

5-Second Test of Your Professional Confidence*
J.T. O'Donnell
Career & Job Search Expert | CEO of CAREEREALISM Media


I recently spoke at an entrepreneur center. Roughly 80 business owners and I were there to discuss the idea of Authority Marketing. It's the concept
of using content to educate an audience to build credibility. Before I started the session, I went around the room and asked each attendee what
their "speciality" was. I told them to use as few words as possible. At least 50% of them struggled when it was their turn. There were a lot of
"ums" and "ahhs" as well as some pretty weak explanations. That was my first coaching lesson of the day...

Don't Just Know Your Speciality, OWN Your Speciality

The first rule of Authority Marketing is owning your speciality. Conveying authority begins with believing in your expertise and being willing to show
it. As business owners, those session attendees needed to see just how important being prepared to speak with authority about their speciality was
to making a good first impression. In short, I tested their professional
confidence - and many of them failed.

Guess What? You Own a Business Too!

The reason I'm sharing this story with you is because you are a business-of-one. Which means, in today's competative talent market, you
need to have professional confidence too. If you want to be seen as a talented, successful person in your chosen profession, you need to convey
authority when you share your speciality.


You've Got 5 Seconds to Write Down Your Speciality

Test your professional confidence by writing down what you would say your speciality is in 5 words or less. Then, ask yourself, "Is it memorable?" And
more importantly, "Can I say it with confidence?" If you answer "no" to either of those questions, then I'd suggest working on this very important
element of your career identity.

First impressions matter. Professional confidence when stating your speciality is the key.

What's your speciality?

I'd love to have you share your specialities below. How do you convey confidence, authority, and expertise?

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Understanding the Psychology of Self-Consciousness

Understanding the Psychology of Self-Consciousness

By Adam Cash from Psychology For Dummies

Have you ever seen a dog stand in front of a mirror? Sometimes they bark at themselves or stand there with a puzzled look. Believe it or not, the ability to recognize oneself in the mirror is pretty advanced, and dogs have yet to demonstrate that they can do it. Some psychologists argue that it is a uniquely human ability, although at least one study has shown that teenage chimpanzees can recognize themselves in a mirror.

When we've developed a sense of self-awareness, we've achieved a state of self-consciousness. Why "developed?" Aren't we aware of ourselves at birth? Actually, it may take up to five or six months for an infant to develop anything even remotely resembling self-consciousness.

The mirror technique is one of the tools that psychologists have used to test infants' and toddlers' levels of self-consciousness. The simplest form of this test involves just setting an infant down in front of a mirror and watching her response. Some researchers have shown that 5- to 6-month-olds will reach out and touch the mirror image, suggesting they think it's another baby, or at least different from them.

In 1979, Michael Lewis and Jeanne Brooks-Gunn conducted a sophisticated version of the mirror test. They applied some blush to the noses of two sets of children — 15- to 17-month-olds and 18- to 24-month-olds. The idea: If the kids look in the mirror and see the blush on their nose, they'll touch it or try to remove it in some way. However, this requires the child to realize that the person in the mirror is himself. So what happened? Just a few of the 15- to 17-month-olds actually reached up and touched their noses, but the vast majority of the 18- to 24-month-old children did it. So, these children must have recognized themselves in the mirror.

Self-consciousness and self-awareness are the same thing. Being self-conscious just means being aware of oneself. But too much of anything can be bad. Usually when someone says she is "self-conscious," she means that she is aware of some flaw. This is not the type of self consciousness dealt with here.

  • Body awareness
  • Private self-consciousness
  • Public self-consciousness

Becoming aware of your body

Body-awareness begins with a simple question: Where do I physically begin, and where do physically I stop? Remember the movie Malice with Bill Pullman, Nicole Kidman, and Alec Baldwin? In one scene, Bill and Alec are sitting in bar, and Alec asks Bill to name the part of his body that is most expendable. In other words, Alec wants Bill to choose the part of his body that he could lose without taking a severe blow to his sense of self. If you've seen the movie, you know why he asks this creepy question — it's foreshadowing.

What part of your body is most important to your sense of self? It may sound strange, but being able to tell the difference between your body and someone else's body is crucial to self-consciousness. Think about newborns. The physical connection between a child and a breast-feeding mother is undeniable, and a child's realization of a sense of difference, or separateness, from the mother only develops in time.

Keeping it private

How well do you know yourself? Are you always trying to figure yourself out? The internal focus on your thoughts, feelings, motivations, and overall sense of self is called your private self-consciousness.When you "look within," you're privately self-conscious. But if you "look within" a little too much, you're "privately spaced-out."

Showing it off

Say you leave for work in the morning, and when you get outside to your car, you realize that you'd forgotten something. So, you do the "big finger snap" and the "one-eye squint," make an about-face, and go back inside. What are these things? They sound like something from a Seinfeld episode, but we all know what they are — those behaviors that you do when you forget something. Why do you make these gestures? If you didn't, you'd look silly walking to your car and then walking back again for no apparent reason. Why do you need a reason? Someone could be watching you!

This is the invisible audience phenomenon — a sense that we're "on stage" when we're in public and that people are watching us. Teenagers always seem to be "on stage." If they trip over a crack in the sidewalk, they turn bright red and run off giggling. This is an example of our public self-consciousness— our sense of ourselves in the presence of others, our public image.

The most noticeable aspect of our public self-consciousness is our awareness and focus on appearances. We don't spend billions of dollars a year on nice clothes, gym memberships, and diets for nothing. Our public self-consciousness is a big part of who we are and how we see ourselves.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Shape-Shifting Jesus Described in Ancient Egyptian Text

Shape-Shifting Jesus Described in Ancient Egyptian Text

By Owen Jarus / Source: LiveScience

A newly deciphered Egyptian text, dating back almost 1,200 years, tells part of the crucifixion story of Jesus with apocryphal plot twists, some of which have never been seen before.

Written in the Coptic language, the ancient text tells of Pontius Pilate, the judge who authorized Jesus' crucifixion, having dinner with Jesus before his crucifixion and offering to sacrifice his own son in the place of Jesus. It also explains why Judas used a kiss, specifically, to betray Jesus — because Jesus had the ability to change shape, according to the text — and it puts the day of the arrest of Jesus on Tuesday evening rather than Thursday evening, something that contravenes the Easter timeline.

The discovery of the text doesn't mean these events happened, but rather that some people living at the time appear to have believed in them, said Roelof van den Broek, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands, who published the translation in the book "Pseudo-Cyril of Jerusalem on the Life and the Passion of Christ".

Copies of the text are found in two manuscripts, one in the Morgan Library and Museum in New York City and the other at the Museum of the University of Pennsylvania. Most of the translation comes from the New York text, because the relevant text in the Pennsylvania manuscript is mostly illegible.

While apocryphal stories about Pilate are known from ancient times, van den Broek wrote in an email to LiveScience that he has never seen this one before, with Pilate offering to sacrifice his own son in the place of Jesus.

A researcher has deciphered a 1,200-year-old Coptic text that tells part of the Passion (the Easter story) with apocryphal plot twists, some of which have never been seen before. Here, a cross decoration from the text, of which there are two copies, the best preserved in the Morgan Library and Museum in New York City.

"Without further ado, Pilate prepared a table and he ate with Jesus on the fifth day of the week. And Jesus blessed Pilate and his whole house," reads part of the text in translation. Pilate later tells Jesus, "well then, behold, the night has come, rise and withdraw, and when the morning comes and they accuse me because of you, I shall give them the only son I have so that they can kill him in your place."

In the text, Jesus comforts him, saying, "Oh Pilate, you have been deemed worthy of a great grace because you have shown a good disposition to me." Jesus also showed Pilate that he can escape if he chose to. "Pilate, then, looked at Jesus and, behold, he became incorporeal: He did not see him for a long time ..." the text read.

Pilate and his wife both have visions that night that show an eagle (representing Jesus) being killed.

In the Coptic and Ethiopian churches, Pilate is regarded as a saint, which explains the sympathetic portrayal in the text, van den Broek writes.

In the canonical bible the apostle Judas betrays Jesus in exchange for money by using a kiss to identify him leading to Jesus' arrest. This apocryphal tale explains that the reason Judas used a kiss, specifically, is because Jesus had the ability to change shape.

"Then the Jews said to Judas: How shall we arrest him [Jesus], for he does not have a single shape but his appearance changes. Sometimes he is ruddy, sometimes he is white, sometimes he is red, sometimes he is wheat coloured, sometimes he is pallid like ascetics, sometimes he is a youth, sometimes an old man ..." This leads Judas to suggest using a kiss as a means to identify him. If Judas had given the arresters a description of Jesus he could have changed shape. By kissing Jesus Judas tells the people exactly who he is. [Religious Mysteries: 8 Alleged Relics of Jesus]

This understanding of Judas' kiss goes way back. "This explanation of Judas' kiss is first found in Origen [a theologian who lived A.D. 185-254]," van den Broek writes. In his work, Contra Celsum the ancient writerOrigen, stated that "to those who saw him [Jesus] he did not appear alike to all."

The text is written in the name of St. Cyril of Jerusalem who lived during the fourth century. In the story Cyril tells the Easter story as part of a homily (a type of sermon). A number of texts in ancient times claim to be homilies by St. Cyril and they were probably not given by the saint in real life, van den Broek explained in his book.

Here, part of the text from the manuscript holding the newly deciphered Passion story of Jesus. Found in Egypt in 1910 it was purchased, along with other manuscripts, by J.P. Morgan in 1911 and was later donated to the public.

Near the beginning of the text, Cyril, or the person writing in his name, claims that a book has been found in Jerusalem showing the writings of the apostles on the life and crucifixion of Jesus. "Listen to me, oh my honored children, and let me tell you something of what we found written in the house of Mary ..." reads part of the text.

Again, it's unlikely that such a book was found in real life. Van den Broek said that a claim like this would have been used by the writer "to enhance the credibility of the peculiar views and uncanonical facts he is about to present by ascribing them to an apostolic source," adding that examples of this plot device can be found "frequently" in Coptic literature.

Van den Broek says that he is surprised that the writer of the text moved the date of Jesus' Last Supper, with the apostles, and arrest to Tuesday. In fact, in this text, Jesus' actual Last Supper appears to be with Pontius Pilate. In between his arrest and supper with Pilate, he is brought before Caiaphas and Herod.

In the canonical texts, the last supper and arrest of Jesus happens on Thursday evening and present-day Christians mark this event with Maundy Thursday services. It "remains remarkable that Pseudo-Cyril relates the story of Jesus' arrest on Tuesday evening as if the canonical story about his arrest on Thursday evening (which was commemorated each year in the services of Holy Week) did not exist!" writes van den Broek in the email.

About 1,200 years ago the New York text was in the library of the Monastery of St. Michael in the Egyptian desert near present-day al-Hamuli in the western part of the Faiyum. The text says, in translation, that it was a gift from "archpriest Father Paul," who, "has provided for this book by his own labors."

The monastery appears to have ceased operations around the early 10th century, and the text was rediscovered in the spring of 1910. In December 1911, it was purchased, along with other texts, by American financier J.P. Morgan. His collections would later be given to the public and are part of the present-day Morgan Library and Museum in New York City. The manuscript is currently displayed as part of the museum's exhibition "Treasures from the Vault" running through May 5.

Van den Broek writes in the email that "in Egypt, the Bible had already become canonized in the fourth/fifth century, but apocryphal stories and books remained popular among the Egyptian Christians, especially among monks."

Whereas the people of the monastery would have believed the newly translated text, "in particular the more simple monks," he's not convinced that the writer of the text believed everything he was writing down, van den Broek said.

"I find it difficult to believe that he really did, but some details, for instance the meal with Jesus, he may have believed to have really happened," van den Broek writes. "The people of that time, even if they were well-educated, did not have a critical historical attitude. Miracles were quite possible, and why should an old story not be true?"

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Monday, March 25, 2013

Ancient Catholic Prophecy Claims This Will Be the Last Pope

Ancient Catholic Prophecy Claims This Will Be the Last Pope

By Jim Meyers / Source: Newsmax

Ancient Catholic prophecies by a revered Irish bishop end with the chilling prediction that the new Pope, Pope Francis — who Tuesday celebrated his inauguration to succeed Benedict XVI — will be the last Pope.

St. Malachy, an Archbishop of Armagh who died in 1148, left behind a list of 112 Popes that has amazed some with its remarkable accuracy.

Malachy used a short phrase in Latin to describe each Pope, beginning with Celestine II and "From a castle on the Tiber." That Pope's birth name was Guido di Castello.

More recently, he described Pope John Paul I with the phrase: "From the midst of the moon." His reign, which began in 1978, began with the moon half full and lasted only one month — or one moon.

He was followed by Pope John Paul II by the Latin expression "Laboris Solis" — or translated "From the labor of the sun" — an expression meaning a solar eclipse.

As it turned out, John Paul II was the only known pope to be born on the day of a solar eclipse — and he was buried on the day of a solar eclipse.

A near total eclipse was seen across Europe on May 18, 1920, the day he was born in Poland. And on April 8, 2005, the day of the Pope's funeral, a partial solar eclipse blotted out most of the sun and darkened a wide area of the world, from the South Pacific to the Western Hemisphere.

For the next Pope, Benedict XVI, St. Malachy wrote: "Glory of the olive." Before the Pope was selected, some suggested a Benedictine would be elected because the order is sometimes referred to as the Olivetans, whose name ultimately derives from the Mount of Olives in the New Testament.

A Benedictine was not selected. However, upon his election as pontiff, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger chose the name Benedict after St. Benedict of Nursia, founder of the Benedictine Order.

St. Malachy described only one more Pope after Benedict, "Petrus Romanus" or "Peter the Roman."

The Irish prophet wrote: "In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will reign Peter the Roman, who will feed his flock amid many tribulations; after which the seven-hilled city (Rome) will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people."

Some believe the prophecy could foretell the destruction of the Church, or the world, and play into Christian prophecy as revealed in the book of Revelation which suggests a final battle between good and evil.

St. Malachy's prophecies were first published in 1595 by a Benedictine historian.

According to a traditional account, Malachy was summoned to Rome by Pope Innocent II in 1139, and while there he purportedly experienced a vision of future Popes. He recorded the vision in his cryptic phrases and this manuscript was left in an archive and forgotten until its rediscovery in 1590.

A book published last year entitled Petrus Romanus: The Final Pope Is Here, by authors Cris Putnam and Tom Horn, detailed the Malachy prophecy and predicted that the current Pope would abdicate for health reasons, paving the way for the final Pope.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Sunday, March 24, 2013

10 Qualities that Made Abraham Lincoln a Great Leader

10 Qualities that Made Abraham Lincoln a Great Leader

By Catherine L. Moreton, J.D.

President Abraham Lincoln appointed the best and brightest to his Cabinet, individuals who were also some of his greatest political rivals. He demonstrated his leadership by pulling this group together into a unique team that represented the greatest minds of his time, according to historian Doris Kearns Goodwin.

Lincoln demonstrated an ability to withstand adversity and to move forward in the face of frustration, said Kearns Goodwin, a keynote speaker at SHRM's 2008 Annual Conference in Chicago. She identified 10 qualities that made Lincoln a great leader. Ten qualities Kearns Goodwin believes we should look for in our present day leaders.

Capacity to Listen to Different Points of View

While researching her Pulitzer Prize winning book, Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln, Kearns Goodwin learned that Lincoln had the capacity to listen to different points of view. He created a climate where Cabinet members were free to disagree without fear of retaliation. At the same time, he knew when to stop the discussion and after listening to the various opinions, make a final decision.

Ability to Learn on the Job

Lincoln was able to acknowledge errors, learn from them, and then move. In this way, he established a culture of learning in his administration, said Kearns Goodwin.

Ready Willingness to Share Credit for Success

In response to concerns expressed by friends about the actions of some of his Cabinet members, Lincoln stated that the "path to success and ambition is broad enough for two" said Kearns Goodwin. When there was success, Lincoln shared the credit with all of those involved.

Ready Willingness to Share Blame for Failure

When mistakes were made by members of his Cabinet, Lincoln stood up for them said Kearns Goodwin. When contracts related to the war effort raised serious questions about a member of his administration, Lincoln spoke up and indicated that he and his entire Cabinet were to blame.

Awareness of Own Weaknesses

Kearns Goodwin noted that one of the weaknesses acknowledged by Lincoln was his tendency to give people too many chances and because he was aware, he was able to compensate for that weakness. As an example, she stated that George McClellan, Commander in Chief of the Union Army, refused to follow directives about the war effort. Lincoln eventually set a deadline and eventually removed McClellan from the position.

Ability to Control Emotions

According to Kearns Goodwin, Lincoln treated those he worked with well. However, he did get angry and frustrated, so he found a way to channel those emotions. He was known to sit down and write what he referred to as a "hot letter" to the individual he was angry with and then he would set the letter aside and not send it. If he did lose his temper, Lincoln would follow up with a kind gesture or letter to let the individual know he was not holding a grudge, said Kearns Goodwin. She noted that one of the letters was released as part of Lincoln's Presidential papers with a notation that it was never signed nor sent.

Know How to Relax and Replenish

Lincoln understood the importance of relaxation and humor to shake of the stress of the day and to replenish himself for the challenges of the next day. According to Kearns Goodwin, Lincoln had a wonderful sense of humor and loved to tell funny stories. He encouraged a healthy atmosphere of laughter and fun in his administration. He also enjoyed going to the theater and spending time with friends.

Go Out into the Field and Manage Directly

During the Civil War, many soldiers died and there were many ups and downs. Lincoln established lasting connections with the troops by visiting the battlefield and hospitals, which also helped bolster morale.

Lincoln also spent time talking with members of the public, taking 'public opinion baths' according to Kearns Goodwin. He held public receptions and made a point of shaking everyone's hand and speaking to each individual.

Strength to Adhere to Fundamental Goals

In the summer of 1964, said Kearns Goodwin, the war was not going well for the North. Members of his political party came to Lincoln and said that there was no way to win the war and he might need to compromise on slavery. Lincoln held firm on the issue of slavery and turned away from this advice.

Ability to Communicate Goals and Vision

Kearns Goodwin stated that Lincoln had a "remarkable ability to communicate his goals to his countrymen." He made concepts simple and communicated with an understanding of the concerns of the citizens.

When the war ended and he won re-election, Lincoln did not focus on his achievements said Kearns Goodwin. Rather, in his second inaugural speech, Lincoln focused on bringing the country together as expressed in the following excerpt. "With malice toward none, with charity for all, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations."

Kearns Goodwin ended her keynote address with the following words from Leo Tolstoy about Abraham Lincoln. His greatness consisted of the "integrity of his character and moral fiber of his being."


Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Saturday, March 23, 2013

How to Manifest Money

How to Manifest Money

By Steve Pavlina / Source: StevePavlina.com

I've written a lot about the Law of Attraction already, but in this article I'm going to focus specifically on the how-to aspects of manifesting money.

Playfulness

The most important aspect of manifesting money is to approach it from the right heartset. Think of your heartset as the overall vibe of your relationship to the activity of attracting money. How would you describe that relationship? Is it greedy, needy, excited, hopeful, etc?

If you approach this process from a place of neediness, clinginess, scarcity, or too much seriousness, you'll most likely fail. That's the right vibe for attracting nothing — or for making things worse by attracting unwanted expenses — but it's not the right vibe for attracting money.

So if you come at this from a place of saying, "I really need $1000 to pay my rent next month, so I'm going to focus hard on manifesting it via the Law of Attraction," well… good luck with that. But I'd bet against you.

A slightly better vibe is that of hope, but this is still a pretty weak vibe. Hope won't get you very far.

A much better vibe is to come from a place of curiosity and experimentation. Go into a state of childlike wonder. With this vibe you may begin to generate some interesting results.

An even stronger vibe is to generate feelings of playfulness and excitement. This is a great vibe for manifesting money. In the next section, I'll share a story to illustrate how I do this with my daughter.

Knowing

When you want to manifest money, it's important to know that it's already there. If it's hidden at all, it's hiding in plain sight, waiting for you to notice it and pick it up. This applies whether we're talking about cash found on the ground or opportunities that will generate cash.

Know that the cash and the opportunities are right in front of your face. You just have to adjust your "eyes" to see them. You do this by shifting your vibe — your frequencies of thought and emotion — to one that's capable of detecting the money.

It's fun to think of this vibe-shifting process as shifting dimensions, as if you're tuning in to a different perceptual frequency spectrum. That other reality was there all along. You just couldn't see it before because you were tuned in to incompatible perceptual frequencies, frequencies that made the money invisible and undetectable by your senses. Maybe you were stuck on the red part of the spectrum, while the money was hanging out in the blue part.

Obviously your senses pick up a lot as you go about your day, but you only notice a puny fraction of all that input. In order to manifest money, you need to tune your senses to bring to your attention useful input that you've been subconsciously dismissing as irrelevant background noise. This tuning process takes some time, but you can definitely do it.

Lately I've been teaching my daughter Emily (age 10) how to manifest coins. I do this by turning it into a game. When we're out walking together, I challenge her to see if she can find more coins than I can.

The first time I did this, she was really bad at it. I found several coins during our walk together, often coins that she walked right past without even noticing. Instead of finding coins, she didn't notice anything. The coins didn't register within her perceptual reality.

Later on she began noticing things that were close to coins, but not coins. She found bottle caps, paper clips, scraps of paper, and coin-like smudges on the floor — everything but coins. I kept pointing out to her that there are coins everywhere, but you have to tune in to the "coin abundance frequency" to see them. Each time I found a coin and showed it to her, I could tell it was gradually helping her tune in to the right perceptual frequency.

One reason she was bad at this game was that she was tuning out the possible existence of coins everywhere she walked. She just didn't think there could be that many coins hiding in plain sight. By demonstrating to her that the coins were indeed there and that she was simply failing to notice them, I helped shift her beliefs. She stopped thinking of the game as something outside her control (relying on luck or chance), and she began thinking of what she could control (her open-mindedness and attentiveness).

At first when she would walk past a coin, and I'd pick it up and say, "Look at this, Emily. There was a nickel there, and you walked right past it! Your eyes definitely saw it because you were looking in that direction, but the coin didn't register in your mind. You still need to adjust yourself to the right vibe. Remember — the coins are everywhere! You just have to command your eyes to notice them."

Initially this surprised her. She could dismiss it as luck… or as some kind of trick… or as a momentary lapse of her part. Then when it kept happening, it began to frustrate her. I helped her shift that frustration to amusement by pointing out that she was really good at finding bottle caps and smudges, and we had some laughs about that. She just needed to adjust her mind a little bit more to notice the coins.
Finally she began to accept that yes, there really are coins everywhere, and she only has to notice them. It seemed like she was beginning to tell her eyes and her mind to get with the program and start noticing the coins.

Emily has a competitive side, so I played to that by challenging her to find more coins than me, which boosted her motivation and desire to get good at it. She knows that technically it's a fair game, and she even gave herself an advantage by walking in front of me, so she could be the first to spot new coins. And since she's only 4'9" inches tall, she's a lot closer to the ground than I am.

Gradually she got better at the game. We went out yesterday and played again. In an hour of walking around some hotels on the Vegas Strip, she found 46 cents: 1 quarter, 3 nickels, and 6 pennies. In that same time, I found only 6 cents. She won the game for the first time and was pretty excited about it. And of course I gave her lots of accolades for it, so as to encourage her to keep improving.

I dare say she's probably better at finding coins than I am now. She now knows there are coins everywhere, but she also really gets into the playful and competitive spirit of the game, which is much more exciting for her than it is for me. I think partly she likes knowing that it's a fair game that either of us can win, and there's no reason she can't be at least as skillful as I am.

When it comes to creating a vibe of playfulness and excitement, children can easily be more masterful than adults. This is the same vibe we need to recreate as adults in order to manifest whatever we desire.

It may sound silly to do this as an adult, but it's a game worth playing. When you're out with friends sometime, have a contest to see who can manifest the most money. You may not get too excited about finding coins, but you may generate some excitement about trying to best your friends in a silly contest. That silliness will actually help you get the right vibe, thereby improving your ability to manifest money.

Detachment

People often get confused about the relationship between desire and detachment. Aren't they diametrically opposed? How can you have both at the same time? Isn't desire a form of attachment?

No, these aren't in conflict. They coexist perfectly.

Let me explain.

Desire is about what you wish to create. You could describe this vibe as passion, excitement, or even lust. It's a delicious pool of emotions you summon by focusing on a new target. The stronger your desire, the better, so amp it up!

Detachment, on the other hand, is about how those desires ultimately manifest for you. When you become too attached to when and how your desires show up, you screw up the manifesting process. Instead of holding the vibe of playfulness and abundance, you start sending out signals like concern, worry, and stress. Don't do that!

Would you become stressed and worried if you couldn't find enough coins on the ground? Would that vibe improve your performance? No, that would only lower your performance.

When you notice that you're getting frustrated, pause, breathe, and go back to the desire side. Hold that vision of the creation you wish to experience, and wallow in the positive sensations of being there in your heart, mind, and spirit. Know that physical reality will soon catch up, as long as you keep holding the right vibe.

When you feel moved to take action from a place of passion and excitement, not stress, then go ahead and let those actions flow through you. It will seem to be more work to stop yourself — you'll feel like you're chickening out and holding back if you stay still. Follow your impulses. But don't worry about the immediate results of those actions. There may be some twists and turns along the way.

Power

When manifesting money, it's especially important that you don't give your power away to money. This negates your creative ability, and the money probably won't arrive if you do that. This is a VERY common mistake.

You can't effectively wield the power of manifestation by believing that you can manifest something you desire (i.e. money) while simultaneously believing that something you desire has power over you (i.e. money).

If you want to manifest money, you CANNOT believe that money is a power source. Money cannot give you wealth or abundance or happiness. It really can't give you anything. Money just sits there — all the power comes from you. If you believe that having more money will give you any additional power at all, then you're actually holding the vibe that says, "I'm too weak to attract money." You'll have to get a jobinstead. 

Think of it like this. If you want to manifest money, but you believe that money is its own power source, then deep down you're giving money the power to say no to you. If money has power, then it can refuse to show up.

Instead of this crazy wrong approach, in your mindset and heartset, you must KNOW that you're completely 100% dominant over money and that money is completely 100% submissive to you. You're in total command of it. If you order it to show up, it must obey you. It has no power of its own. It cannot refuse you.

When you manifest money, you are COMMANDING it to come into your reality. You're the CREATOR. Money has no choice but to obey you, but only if you wield your true power. If you give your power away to money, then you empower money to deny your requests. Money will say, "Well, if you're letting me decide, then no, I'm staying over here."

If you approach money like a power source of its own, then by trying to manifest it, you're really trying to overpower it, and in such a contest you'll usually lose. That contest, however, is completely internal — and pretty much insane. It's like trying to arm wrestle yourself. How can you win? It's a false reality you're projecting because you aren't ready to fully wield your own power yet.

Remember that money is nothing but a number. Or it's pieces of metal and paper. How could it possibly be more powerful than a conscious human being such as yourself?

If you think that once you have money, you will become stronger, you're crazy. Absolutely deluded! More likely — if you actually did manifest money from that kind of vibe — you'd grow even weaker. This would be a bad outcome for you, even though it seems like what you want. You'd be a weak-minded, weak-hearted person with more money, and you'd still see the money as more powerful than you, even while it's in your possession. You'd then become attached to it and afraid of losing it because you'd still mistakenly see it as a power source. It would become a source of security for you, a constantly vulnerable one. The more money you had, the more paranoid you'd become about losing it. This would really mess you up big time. So be very, very glad that you naturally attract less money when you think of money as a power source. If you invite money into your life from that crazy frame of giving away your power, then money will become your Master, and you will be forever its slave. Don't even go there!

If money has no power, then why manifest it at all? In truth, you don't need to. But if you wish to manifest money, then do it as a game. Money is a just toy you can play with. Get excited about the experience of manifesting money, but don't put any attention into what you'd do with the money once you have it. It's merely a number.

If you desire something you think money will give you, then focus on that desire directly, not on the money you think you need to get it. Money may or may not be part of the manifestation process.

Only focus on manifesting money directly if you're capable of seeing the money as a plaything, like a video game score. It's only something to manifest for fun, not something to get all worked up and stressed about.

Once again, do NOT give your power away to money. You must know that money is completely powerless. All the power is within you, never out there.

Upgrading

When manifesting money, start small and work up to larger amounts. See it as a score you're aiming to increase, but don't put larger amounts on a pedestal by assuming they're more difficult to manifest.

I started with manifesting pennies in the Summer of 2006. Then I graduated to nickels, dimes, and quarters. I focused on quarters for several weeks. Then I progressed to dollars to $100 to $1000 to $10K to $50K. Overall it took less than a year to go from manifesting pennies to manifesting $50K. After that point I become more interested in non-monetary manifesting and had some especially fun times with manifesting in my social life — friends, mentors, and other yumminess. In fact, I honestly feel that manifesting money is a bit boring compared to all the other cool stuff you can manifest. It's like playing a video game and obsessing over the score. That can be fun for a while, but eventually you want to focus on more interesting aspects of the game world.

If you can get good at manifesting coins, you can manifest larger sums too. The process is the same. Only some limiting beliefs of yours may stand in the way. But as you gradually upgrade to larger sums, you can collapse those false beliefs.
Once Emily gets good at manifesting coins and feels comfortable and confident with it, I'll start challenging her to manifest larger sums. She may not find money on the ground as often, but it will show up in other ways.

Money comes to you through the filters of your beliefs, but you don't have to change your beliefs radically. You just have to open enough of a portal in your beliefs to allow different sums to come to you.

Coins may be found on the ground while you're walking around. Bills will sometimes be found on the ground too. Larger sums may manifest in the form of exchanges, business deals, inheritances, inspired action, and other ways. Assume that those larger sums are right in front of your face, staring at you and screaming at you to notice them. You just have to tune your vibe to the right frequency to pick them up.

I've noticed that as I've shifted my vibe to manifest larger sums of money and to manifest new experiences in other parts of my life, I seem to fall out of resonance with manifesting smaller sums. I'm not as good at manifesting coins as I was in 2006. That's because my vibe isn't tuned in to the coin manifesting frequency as much. These days I'm spending more time using the LoA to manifest cool social connections and travel experiences. I've tuned my vibe to focus on that part of the perceptual frequency. I also feel more excited and playful about manifesting in these other areas as opposed to adding to my financial score.

Congruency

Every relationship in your life contributes to the overall vibe you're putting out. This includes all the different ways you relate to money.

For example, if your job sucks and doesn't pay you very well, and you try to manifest money on the side, that probably won't work so well because each time you go to work at your job, you risk re-triggering the vibe of feeling financially under-appreciated.

This is where lots of people get stuck with the LoA. They put out conflicting vibes every day. They may visualize having more money and feeling abundant and grateful, but then they go to the grocery store, and they buy cheap, low quality food because in the back of their mind, they're saying to themselves that they can't afford the good stuff. And that naturally cancels out the vibe of abundance, so the result is no change.

If your current circumstances cause you to emit conflicting vibes, then even as you go through the motions of acting in accordance with a scarcer financial situation than you'd like, keep your vibe focused on that of abundance. The best way to do that is by holding the heartset of gratitude. So even if you buy cheap, low-quality food, hold the vibe that you're grateful for it and that you appreciate it. Feel appreciative that such food exists and that it's within your budget. And then look at the high quality stuff, and emotionally invite it into your life. If possible, find one way in which you can splurge for higher quality items, like buying a few organic apples, and feel grateful that you can do that. And when you eat those apples, really enjoy them, and intend to receive more of the same.

But do NOT beat yourself up for not being able to afford what you desire. That will only lower your vibe.

Do like I did with Emily when she kept finding bottle caps and smudges. Praise yourself for succeeding at what you're already manifesting, and then command your senses to adjust to a more abundant part of the spectrum of reality. Be patient with yourself — you'll get it.

Whenever you start feeling bad about your financial situation, see that as a form of feedback. Let it become an immediate trigger to refocus on your desires. Say to yourself, "Okay, obviously I don't want this. So what do I want instead?" Then think about happier alternatives; allow your mind to go there, and let the resulting new vibe flow through you.

Manifesting money is a fun challenge. It's definitely doable if you approach it from a place of playfulness, knowing, and power. It does involve some discipline, but the discipline is mental and emotional, not physical.

You aren't going to let a 10-year old girl kick your ass at this game, are you?

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Friday, March 22, 2013

Three Leadership Lessons from Pope Francis

Three Leadership Lessons from Pope Francis

Richard A. Moran

CEO, Corporate Director, Venture Capitalist, Author, Vintner

Most would agree that the current situation in the Roman Catholic Church is a leadership challenge. The issues Pope Francis faces are complex, emotional, global and cut across both tradition and faith. Constituents are crying out for simple solutions and decisions but there are none. It's a job not for the faint of heart but Pope Francis heard the call and in just a few days made a huge positive impact. In just his first week his approval rating was at record high levels for a Pope.

Some might say the answer is that he hasn't done anything yet. But the real answer is he has done oh so much. He has established himself as a leader and in so doing has repositioned the role of the Pope. How did he do it? What did he do? Here is the how and the what:

  • He was Authentic. He revealed much about himself and how we would operate. Even though he could have, he didn't change over night because he had a super elevated role.
  • He sent a message of Positive Change. Everything the new Pope did and said sent a message of hope and change. From his simple mass to his simple robes, he sent a message of simplicity, change and hope.
  • He showed Humility. When Pope Francis jumped out of the Popemobile to kiss a severely handicapped man, everyone knew this was a man of the people. He will listen and pay attention to those around him.

The new Pope has said nothing about women priests, birth control, gay marriage or sex abuse or any of the other big decisions he faces. Yet, through simple words and simple actions he has demonstrated he will be a real leader and we are all cheering for him. Sometimes it doesn't take much, to do a lot. That's the new Pope's leadership lesson.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

This Is Your Brain On Money

This Is Your Brain On Money

Neuroscience helps explain how we handle money

By Dr. Maha Alattar / Source: Fredericksburg.com

Money has the power to stir emotions and create drama fitting for a Shakespearean play. A raise in your salary gives you joy, but misery comes if you gamble your money away. You don't mind risk taking because it paves the way to future success, but you're panic-stricken when you lose money invested in stocks.

Then there is greed, one of the seven deadly sins in early Christian writings and the subject of a painting -- "The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things" -- that depicts greed as misers being boiled in a pot of gold.

What role does your brain play in the pursuit and handling of money?

Your brain wants you to be safe and alive, so it makes you go after basic human needs like food, shelter, love and the safety of a social group, i.e., family. But when you want to make money -- which often involves risk taking and calculating probabilities -- your brain doesn't necessarily feel safe.

Our brains are cravers: chocolate, ice cream and even alcohol. The brain doesn't want to bother with futuristic, "maybe" rewards. But the wise and smart parts of our brain will say: "Hold on, wait a minute, let's reassess" before we make a decision.

This momentary, alternative thinking helps us resist making impulsive financial choices that feel good during a shopping spree, but not in the long term.

Money, Joy, and Pain

The power of choice is within us when it comes to handling money in ways that won't cause pain.

Brian Knutson, a neuroscientist, studies the brain as it relates to money. Knutson uses special MRI images in his experiments while people are handling money. One thing he's found is that when cash is offered to someone, dopamine is released in the nucleus accumbens, a part of the brain that is involved in reward and addiction.

So, money can make you happy quickly. But Knutson's research -- published in Neuron in 2007 -- also showed that losing cash can cause pain.

When people were in the midst of deciding to purchase some items, the emotional parts of the brain were activated. When the product was anticipated and desired, the nucleus accumbens (involving dopamine release) was activated.

But when the thought of financial loss was entertained (because of excessive prices), a part of the brain called the insula was activated. The insula typically "lights up" in people who feel or anticipate pain.

What is fascinating is that these areas have anticipatory effects that precede the decision to purchase. Consider this thought: "If I buy this lovely yet pricey perfume bottle, what would I have to give up in the future because of the money I am about to spend and lose?" Such thinking makes you go through imaginary checks and balances, pleasures and pains, before you open your wallet to the world.

What Knutson's research means for people in practical terms is that competing parts of your brain are at play when you make purchasing decisions. There's the pleasure-seeking part, and the part that wants to avoid pain.

If you can take a moment to contemplate the pain of being parted with your money, you might be less inclined to take risks or make big purchases.

Savers and Spenders

The neurology of a shopping spree tells us that the brains of people who spend frivolously are wired differently than those who hold on to that last penny. Most people get pleasure out of owning the newest iPhone or going on a Caribbean cruise.  "Hell-with-tomorrow" is in operation here.

But savers and spenders have different traits that are independent of intelligence or rationality.

If you are a saver, you are better than your spender buddy at picturing what "not saving" looks or feels like. In other words, you have a sense of your self in the future that is different from the picture of your current self. So, you are better able to see that you might regret spending your money.

This is described by the "future self-continuity" hypothesis. In one experiment whose results were published in the journal  Judgment and Decision Making in June 2009, people who rated higher on the future self-continuity index had a greater lifetime accumulation of financial assets regardless of age or education.

The take-home message is "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow." Develop a sense of a future-self if you want to accumulate wealth.

Fear-Based Choices

Fear and peer pressure also play a part in how people invest their money.
During stock market crashes, for example, many investors have reacted by selling off their shares -- a reaction based on fear rather than a thought-out choice based on long-term planning.

Deep in our brain sit two amygdalae, a tiny collection of cells that get activated when we're afraid. This can presumably keep you safe, giving you a momentary rush of panic that alerts you to run from an approaching tiger. But it can also prompt you to dump your investments in a panic.

Peer pressure also plays a role. When all the investors are selling, there is peer pressure to sell—even though the decision might not be wisest. Gregory Burns, a neuroscientist, found that "standing alone" versus "conformity to the group" triggered the brain's amygdalae and caudate, areas typically activated during physical or emotional pain.

So, it is less painful to go along with the herd and be part of a group of investors. Humans find comfort in making group decisions rather than on-my-own type decisions.

Poorly Served By Greed

Neuroeconomics and neuromarketing are emerging and exciting fields. But they don't explain the spirit behind deep human emotions and experiences such as exhilaration, disappointment or greed. At the end, we all know that greed and addiction serve us little, and self-reliance and honesty are assets that are honorable and worthy.

Perhaps awareness in our relationship with money can open our eyes to self-growth and wisdom. We can all take a little advice from William Shakespeare: "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."


Edited by: Lawyer Asad