Creative Visualization

Creative Visualization 

From Imagination To Reality - Attracting Success With Mind Power

By Remez Sasson

Creative visualization is a mental technique that uses the imagination to make dreams and goals come true. Used in the right way, creative visualization can improve our life and attract success and prosperity. It is a power that can alter our environment and circumstances, cause events to happen, and attract money, possessions, work, people and love into our life. Creative visualization uses the power of the mind, and is the power behind every success.

By visualizing a certain event or a situation, or an object, such as a car, a house, furniture etc., we attract it into our life. It is a process that is similar to daydreaming. For some people, this might look like magic, but there is no magic involved, only the natural process of the power of thoughts and natural mental laws. It is like having a genie at your disposal!

There are people who use this technique naturally in their everyday affairs, not being aware that they are using some sort of power. All successful people use it consciously or unconsciously, attracting the success they want into their life, by visualizing their goals as already accomplished.

Creative Visualization and the Power of Thoughts

How does it work and why? Thoughts, if powerful enough, are accepted by our subconscious mind, which then changes our mindset accordingly, as well as our habits and actions, and this brings us into contact with new people, situations and circumstances.

Thoughts are endowed with a creative power that molds our life, and attracts what we think about. Thoughts travel from one mind to another, and if they are strong enough, they can be unconsciously picked up by people, who are in a position to help us achieve our desires and goals.

We are part of the Omnipotent Power that has created the universe, and therefore, we participate in the process of creation. Bearing this thought in mind, there is no wonder that thoughts materialize. Stop for a moment and think - You are an indivisible part of the great Universal Power! This means that your thoughts can come true! Not all thoughts of course, but those that are concentrated, well-defined, and often-repeated often.

Thought is energy, especially a concentrated thought laden with emotional energy. Thoughts change the balance of energy around us, and bring changes to the environment in accordance with them.

There is another explanation why visualization brings results. It may come as a surprise to most, but the theory of "Maya" - Illusion, which comes from the eastern philosophies, provides the explanation.

According to the Indian philosophy "Advaita- Vedanta", which is called "Nonduality" in the West, the world is not real, but only an illusion, created by our thoughts. Since most people think and repeat the same or similar thoughts often, focusing their mind and thoughts on their current environment, they create and recreate the same sort of events or circumstances. This process preserves the same "world" and status quo. It is like watching the same film over and over again, but we can change the film by changing our thoughts and visualize different circumstances and life, and in this way create a different "reality". For us, it is a reality, though in fact it is just a dream we call "reality".

By changing our thoughts and mental images, we change our "Reality"; we change the "illusory" world we believe we live in. We are not employing magic or supernatural powers when creating and changing our life and circumstances. It is not something "Material" that we change; we only change our thoughts, which shape our world.

All this is like dreaming a very realistic dream, and then changing the dream. We are not awakening from the dream, just changing the dream.

So why not change your dreams to something more satisfying?

If you live in small apartment and need a larger one, instead of brooding about your fate and lack of money, change your thoughts and visualize and believe that you are living in a bigger apartment.

Overcoming Limited Thinking

Creative visualization can do great things, but for every person, there are some areas, which he or she might find hard to change, at least in the immediate future. The power of visualization is a mighty power, but there are some limits to using it. These limits are within us, not in the power.

We often limit ourselves and cannot look beyond a limited circle. We limit ourselves by our thoughts and beliefs. The more open-minded we can be, and the bigger we dare to think, the greater are our opportunities and possibilities. Limitations are within our minds, and it is up to us to rise above them.

It may take some time until things start to change. Simple, small demonstrations of this power may come fast, but bigger results may need a longer time to happen.

The time and effort put forth in this study are really worthwhile. Have faith and patience and results will start appearing.

 

An Example of Creative Visualization

Years ago, before I got married, I decided to visualize having a date. I imagined myself sitting in a restaurant and talking with a girl. I concentrated on this image several times during the day, several minutes each time.

The next day, a girl working in the same place where I worked, asked me if I can come to talk with her. I hardly ever spoke with her, maybe just saying good morning. I went to her desk, and she asked me whether I had a girl friend. When she heard that I did not have one, she proposed to introduce me to one of her friends, and then gave me her phone number.

When I got home I called the girl, and asked her to meet me. We met on the same day in a restaurant, exactly as I visualized.

All this happened within about 24 hours. Surprising isn't it? This power can sometimes work really fast. Oh, you are curious to know what happened with that date? Well, nothing, because she was not the type of girl I was looking for. I rather used the power of visualization haphazardly, not thinking about how I wanted her look like, about her character, etc. I just thought about meeting a girl, a wish that came true.

Concise Guidelines for Creative Visualization:

Define your goal.

Think, meditate and listen to your intuition to ascertain that you really desire to attain this goal.

Ascertain that only good will result from your visualization, for you and for others.

Sit alone in a quiet place, where you will not be disturbed.

Relax your body.

Breathe rhythmically and deeply several times.

Visualize a clear and detailed mental image of what you desire to get or accomplish.

Use in your imagination all the five senses of sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste.

Add desire and feelings into what your mental image.

Visualize at least twice a day, about 10 minutes each time.

persevere with your visualization, day after day, with, patience, hope and faith.

Stay positive, thinking positive thoughts, feeling positive feelings and using positive words.

During the day, when negative thoughts and doubts arise, replace them with positive thoughts. As each negative thought enters your mind, immediately substitute it with a positive thought.

Keep an open mind, so that you recognize opportunities and take advantage of them.

After concluding your visualization session, say attentively and earnestly, "Let everything happen in a harmonious and favorable way for all involved".

Use the power of imagination only for your and others' good, and never try to use it to get something that belongs to others or hurt others. Make sure that what you are creating is good for all involved, and cause no harm to your environment.

Though the manifestation of your goal might sometimes happen in a sudden and expected manner, most of the time it will happen in a natural and gradual manner, one thing leading to another. If you desire money, it won't necessarily drop on your head from the sky or you will win it in the lottery. It will more probably come through a new job, promotion, a business deal or through various other channels.

Our thoughts and feelings, and the mental images we carry in our mind, affect our life. By changing them we change our life. This means that we have to be careful with our thoughts and how we feel about them, otherwise we might get things and enter into situations that you do not want, and then we will have to find ways to get rid of them. Better think and visualize what that we really and truly want, and which will improve our life.

Approach this mental work with a positive attitude, earnestness and faith, but at the same time with some detachment, and regarding it as a sort of game or play. This attitude will prevent inner tension and disappointment, if things don't happen as expected.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

How to Become More Intelligent Than You Are Now

How to Become More Intelligent Than You Are Now

Do you ever feel stupid around other people? Are you embarrassed when you don't know the answer to a teacher's question? Everybody has those times when they just feel like they don't know anything. Of course, you can't know everything, but no matter how smart you are, you can start becoming more intelligent today.

1. Improve your memory. Much of what is generally considered intelligence is simply the ability to remember things well. You can improve your ability to retain and recall memories in a variety of ways, including using mnemonics and by paying more attention to details.

2. Study more effectively. If you find yourself at a loss when your teacher puts you on the spot, or if you perform poorly on exams, you may not be studying enough. Even if you study a lot, improving your study skills can make a big difference. A variety of wikiHows offer tips to help you.

3. Read a lot. Just about everything that humans know can be found in print, whether in books and magazines or on the internet. Become a voracious reader, and you'll expose yourself to more ideas and information. If you're a slow reader, consider learning speed reading. Consider jotting down notes, and perhaps looking up a word or two in the dictionary.

4. Visit the library frequently and pick up anything which looks interesting to you. The subject matter is not quite as important as is the act of reading. Always have something good to read at hand.

5. Be more curious. How do some people get to know so much? Good memory skills are only part of the answer: you also have to be curious. If you're satisfied going through life with little or no understanding of things you're unfamiliar with, you won't learn much. Make a conscious effort to be more curious by reminding yourself that developing your curiosity will broaden your horizons and help to make you more intelligent.

6. Research. Curiosity without initiative is like having a car that's out of gas — it won't take you anywhere. Fortunately, when it comes to knowledge you're never far from success. If you read a word that you don't know, look it up in the dictionary. If you wonder how airplanes fly, read a book about it. If you want to know more about politics, pick up a newspaper. With Internet access now pervasive, there's less excuse for not finding something out that you want to know.

7. Learn how to look things up. If you know how to use references, from an internet search engine to an encyclopedia, you'll be able to find the information you want more quickly and effectively. Effective researching skills will nourish your curiosity because you'll become more confident in your ability to access knowledge. If your research skills leave something to be desired, take a class or workshop on how to research, ask a librarian or teacher, or simply practice researching. Or just press the "help" tabs on the internet and computer programs and read.

8. Figure things out on your own. There's a lot more to intelligence than "book smarts". We can all learn to perform everyday tasks at work, home, and school better and more intelligently. If you don't know how to do something, resist the urge to ask somebody else to do it for you or show you how. In most cases, you'll be able to figure it out on your own, either by trial-and-error or by researching. While it usually takes longer to figure something out than it does to ask about it, you'll learn more about the overall process, and you'll remember it better. Most importantly, you'll exercise your problem-solving skills instead of your "do as you're told" skills.

9. Ask for help. It's great to figure things out on your own, but sometimes you don't have enough time to do so, despite your best efforts. Don't give up; ask somebody to show you how. Make sure to pay close attention and ask any questions that you have, so that you'll never have to ask the same thing again.

10. Exercise your mind in different ways. Most of us are good at the things we excel in naturally or the activities we do everyday. Challenge yourself to learn a new skill or to think in a different way, however, and you'll actually become more intelligent. Choose something you'd like to learn to do (play the accordion, for example) or a subject you don't do well in (maybe math) and focus on that thing. Initially, you may be uncomfortable and feel even less intelligent than you did before, but if you study or practice diligently, you'll become more confident, and you'll make new connections in your mind.

11. Teach others. In order to teach something to somebody else, you've got to know it pretty well. When you try to explain an idea or skill to somebody else, you'll not only remember it better yourself, you'll also find that the other person's questions will help you find out how well you really know what you're talking about.

12. Learn a new word each day. Go through the dictionary and find a word that you don't know already, then practice using it throughout the day. When you come across a new word when doing #3, look it up.

13. Do your homework if you're in school! Don't procrastinate, finish it last minute, or copy someone's paper. The homework is there for practice, and when you do it, you'll become more confident in that subject. But remember, homework time is not the same as study time, so you can't count homework as studying.

14. Find a hobby that interests you. Many people increase their intelligence by attempting to get better at something that they're already good at. For example, not only does it make a computer programmer look smarter if they know C++, but it can help you with your job.

15. Surround yourself with intelligent people. Being around people that are smarter than you can help you become more knowledgeable.

16. Read the news. Keeping up with current events will let you know what's going on in the world, while also exercising step 3.

17. Practice your writing skills as well. Writing allows you to input your knowledge into creativity. Whether you write short, fantasy stories or reports on WWII, it's always great to practice your writing skills. Try exercising your brain and writing a little something every day, whether it be describing your emotions or writing descriptive paragraphs just about the weather.

18. Learn a new language. It has been proven that learning new languages makes one generally smarter. Children who knew two languages or more had more grey matter than those who didn't. And grey matter is responsible for processing information, including memory, speech and sensory perception.

Don't limit yourself to what your teachers give you. If you already know everything on your grade level, don't stop studying. Try high school work, then college level — always challenge yourself.

Don't limit yourself to "smart subjects"; learn about whatever interests you, as this will usually lead to an interest in "smart" subjects. You don't have to start with nuclear physics to be smart.

Besides looking to learn, always look for new ways to learn. If you aren't big on reading, try watching people, or talking to people, and even the TV - there are many many educational channels available.

Don't learn simply to learn, it will not work. Find a way to be interested in it, make it fun and you will learn faster, and remember more.

Always remember that you can't know everything. Why would you want to, anyway? Being good at one or two things can be more valuable than being considered brilliant.

Some psychologists now say there are multiple types of intelligence, such as interpersonal intelligence (how to interact and get along with people) and bodily intelligence (coordination, athleticism). Don't neglect to nurture these aspects of yourself. Even if they don't make you "smarter," they can help you lead a happier, more well-rounded life.

Get enough sleep. Some researchers say, while you sleep, your brain makes new connections. For example if you don't understand how to perform a math equation completely and you 'sleep on it', there is a chance that your brain will have figured it out while you slept.

Learn a new language because that can open doors to other sources of knowledge.

Learn visual thinking.

Use your new knowledge to help people, volunteer as a tutor to help other not as advanced as you to catch up, and help them improve their situation. Remember knowledge is something to be shared, and to be used to better society, not just yourself.

Be a Giver and Be a Lover.

Brought to you by: Lawyer Asad

Top 10 Ways to Look and Be Smarter

Top 10 Ways to Look and Be Smarter

By Whitson Gordon / Source: LifeHacker

Whether you're trying to survive an intensive college schedule or just want to seem smarter in front of your friends, you can do a lot of things to both look and be smarter.

Here are ten simple tricks for boosting your real (and perceived) brain power.

10. Read Faster and Better

Obviously, one of the best ways to boost your intelligence is to read more! You can read faster (and thus consume more knowledge) by getting your speech mechanism out of the equation. So give your mouth something to do, like eating, humming, or chewing gum to get through that stuff quickly. Then, take some time to absorb and reflect on what you read to keep it in your memory. Whether it's War and Peace or just the Wikipedia Random button, you'll be surprised by how much more you learn when you're reading not just fast, but well.

9. Speak Up (and Do It With Expression)

The more you can contribute to a conversation, a meeting, or other discourse, the smarter you'll come off. Even if it means admitting ignorance or asking questions, you'll still look better than if you stay silent—and you might actually learn something in the process. Expressive speech is key: you can boost your credibility a lot by simply making sure you speak with an engaging tone. Change your pitch and volume as necessary, and try to minimize the number of pauses as you speak. A little confidence goes a long way.

8. Don't Fall Prey to BS

When someone's trying to convince you of something, they can often resort to logical fallacies, appeals to your emotion, and other "workarounds". Learn the most common forms of BS so you can detect them as they come up. By knowing what they are, you'll also be able to avoid dishing out those same fallacies yourself, which can be a big hit to your credibility if someone catches you.

7. Focus on What You Know

When engaged in a heated discussion with your friends, you're bound to stumble upon a few holes in your knowledge. It's okay to admit when you don't know something, but if you're feeling particularly self-conscious and want to keep up the appearance of intelligence, the key is emphasizing what you do know. If you're in an argument, don't stress disagreement so much as agreement—that way, you aren't straying away from things you know about. You're stressing the parts you do know while still taking part in the discussion.

6. Get Some Exercise

A healthy body means a healthy brain. So, in between all the reading and mind-expanding, make sure you're leading a healthy physical life, too. That means eating right and getting regular exercise. A number of studies. have shown links between regular activity and intellecual capacity, productivity, and creativity. Will spending all day at the gym make you smarter? Not quite, but sitting around all day will not only kill you, but hinder your brain from being at its absolute best.

5. Talk to Yourself

While mumbling to oneself is often looked at the behavior of a crazy person, a recent study showed that talking out loud to yourself can help give you a temporary cognitive boost when trying to find something. The theory behind it: when you give yourself verbal labels to a task you're performing, you focus better on the task at hand at any given moment. So when you feel the need to open your mouth, don't fight the urge—it might help you get things done faster.

4. Learn a Second Language

People who know a second or third language are often perceived as smart by others, but research shows that it can actually make you smarter, too. If you know a second language, you're able to adapt to and switch between certain mental tasks better than those that only know one, so if you want to give your brain a real boost, learning a new language is a real (and useful!) way to do so. It's not actually hard to do, either: all you need is this simple four step method to learn in just a few months.

3. Do Things the Hard Way

Technology really has made our lives easier, but sometimes it's worth doing things the hard way. Take GPS navigation, for example: it's great that you can essentially never get lost, but if you rely on it too much, you'll never truly learn your way around. Instead, wean yourself off your GPS dependency and actually learn your way around town, develop a sense of direction, and learn to navigate using your brain. Doing things the hard way can help keep your brain sharp, so don't be afraid to forgo the easy stuff once in a while.

2. Know What Won't Make You Smarter

There's a lot of work going into researching what makes us smarter—much of which we've mentioned here—but it's also important to know what won't make you smarter. Check out our list of nine stubborn brain myths that just won't die to see just a few examples, like "the internet is making us dumber" (it isn't, if you use it properly), "listening to classical music makes children smarter" (unlikely), or that "brain games make you smarter" (don't waste your time). The less time you spend on silly myths, the more time you can spend actually expanding your brain, so get these out of your system now.

1. Just Believe You Can Be Smarter

The last step? Just believe you can be smarter. Studies have shown that this simple belief can actually make it true. That isn't to say you should be pompous: you need to assume you aren't that great yet, which will leave you open to learning new things and asking new questions—the exact sort of things that can make you smarter. But it'll never happen if you believe your intelligence is somehow fixed, so once that roadblock is gone, you may find you're much freer to pursue the level of intelligence you want. If you're having trouble doing that, it may be time to recalibrate your reality—attitude is everything.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

The Writing Revolution

The Writing Revolution

For years, nothing seemed capable of turning around New Dorp High School's dismal performance—not firing bad teachers, not flashy education technology, not after-school programs. So, faced with closure, the school's principal went all-in on a very specific curriculum reform, placing an overwhelming focus on teaching the basics of analytic writing, every day, in virtually every class. What followed was an extraordinary blossoming of student potential, across nearly every subject—one that has made New Dorp a model for educational reform.

By PEG TYRE

In 2009, when Monica DiBella entered New Dorp, a notorious public high school on Staten Island, her academic future was cloudy. Monica had struggled to read in early childhood, and had repeated first grade. During her elementary-school years, she got more than 100 hours of tutoring, but by fourth grade, she'd fallen behind her classmates again. In the years that followed, Monica became comfortable with math and learned to read passably well, but never seemed able to express her thoughts in writing. During her freshman year at New Dorp, a '70s-style brick behemoth near a grimy beach, her history teacher asked her to write an essay on Alexander the Great. At a loss, she jotted down her opinion of the Macedonian ruler: "I think Alexander the Great was one of the best military leaders." An essay? "Basically, that wasn't going to happen," she says, sweeping her blunt-cut brown hair from her brown eyes. "It was like, well, I got a sentence down. What now?" Monica's mother, Santa, looked over her daughter's answer—six simple sentences, one of which didn't make sense—with a mixture of fear and frustration. Even a coherent, well-turned paragraph seemed beyond her daughter's ability. An essay? "It just didn't seem like something Monica could ever do."

For decades, no one at New Dorp seemed to know how to help low-performing students like Monica, and unfortunately, this troubled population made up most of the school, which caters primarily to students from poor and working-class families. In 2006, 82 percent of freshmen entered the school reading below grade level. Students routinely scored poorly on the English and history Regents exams, a New York State graduation requirement: the essay questions were just too difficult. Many would simply write a sentence or two and shut the test booklet. In the spring of 2007, when administrators calculated graduation rates, they found that four out of 10 students who had started New Dorp as freshmen had dropped out, making it one of the 2,000 or so lowest-performing high schools in the nation. City officials, who had been closing comprehensive high schools all over New York and opening smaller, specialized ones in their stead, signaled that New Dorp was in the crosshairs.

And so the school's principal, Deirdre DeAngelis, began a detailed investigation into why, ultimately, New Dorp's students were failing. By 2008, she and her faculty had come to a singular answer: bad writing. Students' inability to translate thoughts into coherent, well-argued sentences, paragraphs, and essays was severely impeding intellectual growth in many subjects. Consistently, one of the largest differences between failing and successful students was that only the latter could express their thoughts on the page. If nothing else, DeAngelis and her teachers decided, beginning in the fall of 2009, New Dorp students would learn to write well. "When they told me about the writing program," Monica says, "well, I was skeptical." With disarming candor, sharp-edged humor, and a shy smile, Monica occupies the middle ground between child and adult—she can be both naive and knowing. "On the other hand, it wasn't like I had a choice. I go to high school. I figured I'd give it a try."

New Dorp's Writing Revolution, which placed an intense focus, across nearly every academic subject, on teaching the skills that underlie good analytical writing, was a dramatic departure from what most American students—especially low performers—are taught in high school. The program challenged long-held assumptions about the students and bitterly divided the staff. It also yielded extraordinary results. By the time they were sophomores, the students who had begun receiving the writing instruction as freshmen were already scoring higher on exams than any previous New Dorp class. Pass rates for the English Regents, for example, bounced from 67 percent in June 2009 to 89 percent in 2011; for the global-­history exam, pass rates rose from 64 to 75 percent. The school reduced its Regents-repeater classes—cram courses designed to help struggling students collect a graduation requirement—from five classes of 35 students to two classes of 20 students.

The number of kids enrolling in a program that allows them to take college-level classes shot up from 148 students in 2006 to 412 students last year. Most important, although the makeup of the school has remained about the same—­roughly 40 percent of students are poor, a third are Hispanic, and 12 percent are black—a greater proportion of students who enter as freshmen leave wearing a cap and gown. This spring, the graduation rate is expected to hit 80 percent, a staggering improvement over the 63 percent figure that prevailed before the Writing Revolution began. New Dorp, once the black sheep of the borough, is being held up as a model of successful school turnaround. "To be able to think critically and express that thinking, it's where we are going," says Dennis Walcott, New York City's schools chancellor. "We are thrilled with what has happened there."

In the coming months, the conversation about the importance of formal writing instruction and its place in a public-school curriculum—­the conversation that was central to changing the culture at New Dorp—will spread throughout the nation. Over the next two school years, 46 states will align themselves with the Common Core State Standards. For the first time, elementary-­school students—­who today mostly learn writing by constructing personal narratives, memoirs, and small works of fiction—will be required to write informative and persuasive essays. By high school, students will be expected to produce mature and thoughtful essays, not just in English class but in history and science classes as well.

Common Core's architect, David Coleman, says the new writing standards are meant to reverse a pedagogical pendulum that has swung too far, favoring self-­expression and emotion over lucid communication. "As you grow up in this world, you realize people really don't give a shit about what you feel or what you think," he famously told a group of educators last year in New York. Early accounts suggest that the new writing standards will deliver a high-voltage shock to the American public. Last spring, Florida school officials administered a writing test that, for the first time, required 10th-graders to produce an expository essay aligned with Common Core goals. The pass rate on the exam plummeted from 80 percent in 2011 to 38 percent this year.

According to the Nation's Report Card, in 2007, the latest year for which this data is available, only 1 percent of all 12th-graders nationwide could write a sophisticated, well-­organized essay. Other research has shown that 70 to 75 percent of students in grades four through 12 write poorly. Over the past 30 years, as knowledge-based work has come to dominate the economy, American high schools have raised achievement rates in mathematics by providing more­-extensive and higher-level instruction. But high schools are still graduating large numbers of students whose writing skills better equip them to work on farms or in factories than in offices; for decades, achievement rates in writing have remained low.

The program would not be unfamiliar to nuns who taught in Catholic schools circa 1950. It is, at least initially, a rigid, unswerving formula. "I prefer recipe," Hochman says, "but formula? Yes! Okay!"

Although New Dorp teachers had observed students failing for years, they never connected that failure to specific flaws in their own teaching. They watched passively as Deirdre De­Angelis got rid of the bad apples on the staff; won foundation money to break the school into smaller, more personalized learning communities; and wooed corporate partners to support after-school programs. Nothing seemed to move the dial.

Her decision in 2008 to focus on how teachers supported writing inside each classroom was not popular. "Most teachers," said Nell Scharff, an instructional expert DeAngelis hired, "entered into the process with a strongly negative attitude." They were doing their job, they told her hotly. New Dorp students were simply not smart enough to write at the high-school level. You just had to listen to the way the students talked, one teacher pointed out—they rarely communicated in full sentences, much less expressed complex thoughts. "It was my view that these kids didn't want to engage their brains," Fran Simmons, who teaches freshman English, told me. "They were lazy."

Scharff, a lecturer at Baruch College, a part of the City University of New York, kept pushing, asking: "What skills that lead to good writing did struggling students lack?" She urged the teachers to focus on the largest group: well-­behaved kids like Monica who simply couldn't seem to cobble together a paragraph. "Those kids were showing up" every day, Scharff said. "They seem to want to do well." Gradually, the bellyaching grew fainter. "Every quiz, every unit test, every homework assignment became a new data point," Scharff recalled. "We combed through their writing. Again and again, we asked: 'How did the kids in our target group go wrong? What skills were missing?' "

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Increase your value and get paid more

Increase your value and get paid more Your goal is to organize your life in such a way that you enjoy a good income, a high standard of living, and that you are the master of your economic destiny rather than a victim of changing economic times. Does this sound consistent with your goals? Contribution Is the Key Your job is an opportunity to contribute a value to your company in excess of your cost. In its simplest terms, your job is as secure as your ability to render value in excess of what it costs to keep you on the payroll. If you want to earn more money at your current job, you have to increase your value, your contribution to the enterprise. Add Value Every Day If you want to get a new job, you have to find a way to contribute value to that enterprise. If you want any kind of job security, you must continually work at maintaining and increasing your value in the competitive marketplace. And here's a key point. Your education, knowledge, skills and experience all are investments in your ability to contribute a value for which you can be paid. But they are like any other investments. They are highly speculative. And here's a key point. Your education, knowledge, skills and experience all are investments in your ability to contribute a value for which you can be paid. But they are like any other investments. They are highly speculative. Once you have learned a subject or developed a skill, it is a sunk cost. It is time and money spent that you cannot get back. No employer in the marketplace has any obligation to pay you for it, unless he can use your skill to produce a product or service that people are ready to buy, today. Prepare For Your Next Job Whatever job you are doing, you should be preparing for your next job. And the key question is always: Where are the customers? Which businesses and industries are growing in this economy, and which ones are declining? Where Is The Future? I continually meet people who ask me how they can increase their income when their entire industry is shrinking. I tell them that there are jobs with futures and there are jobs without futures, and they need to get into a field that is expanding, not contracting. Never Be Without A Job There are three forms of unemployment in America: voluntary, involuntary, and frictional. Voluntary employment exists when a person decides not to work for a certain period of time, or not to accept a particular type of job, hoping that something better will come along. Involuntary unemployment exists when a person is willing and able to work but cannot find a job anywhere. Frictional unemployment is the natural level; this includes the approximately 4 or 5 percent of the working population who are between jobs at any given time. Three Keys to Lifelong Employment However, there are always jobs for the creative minority. You never have to be unemployed if you will do one of three things: change the work that you are offering to do, change the place where you are offering to work, or change the amount that you are asking for your services. You should consider one or more of these three strategies whenever you are dissatisfied with your current work situation. Action Exercises Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action. First, look around you at your current job and find ways to create added value every day. There’s always something more you can do. Second, identify the kind of work you want to be doing in the future and then make a plan to develop the knowledge and skills you will require to do it well. Brian Tracy

Design for Complexity: The Hidden Power of Networks

Design for Complexity: The Hidden Power of Networks

Tim Brown

CEO at IDEO

 

I recently moderated a fascinating session at the World Economic Forum 'Summer Davos' in Tianjin, China. Two network scientists, Cesar Hidalgo of MIT and Albert-Laszlo Barabasi of Harvard, discussed the underlying science of how networks operate and how this knowledge might be applied to business and economics.

At the outset of network science a key question was raised: are networks random? If so, all nodes would be more or less similar to each other. But that is not the case. The reality is that certain nodes have more connections than others and play the role of hubs. New nodes in a pre-existing network tend to connect with highly connected nodes. After a certain threshold, the removal of highly connected nodes can make a whole network fall apart. Thus interconnectivity is beneficial but also brings in vulnerability: if you and I are connected we can share resources; meanwhile your problems can become mine, and vice versa. This happens in many different kinds of networks, from financial systems to social media to electrical power grids. Numerous complex systems can be mapped and analyzed, such as transportation and biological systems.

Network science and tools are readily available to shed light on factors that were not considered in the past and to inform decisions in many different sectors and organizations. The adoption of network science and tools for decision-making are especially powerful when designing for complexity. Hidalgo even proposed that the future economic growth of nations can be predicted based on an analysis of networks of production.

In our own organizations, network visualizations and analyses can be used to inform management decisions by looking at how employees connect to each other and how information flows through networks.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

Earl Nightingale on Courage & Self-esteem.

                         Watch this hour long video and you'll never lack in courage and self-esteem.

Earl Nightingale on Courage & Self-esteem.

How You SHOULD Respond To Criticism?

How You SHOULD Respond To Criticism?

As I type this I'm sitting outside with a cup of coffee in London...

(Yes believe it or not even though I'm in London, it's warm enough this time of year to

sit outside!).

Anyway, let's get to today's email: Criticism

Constructive criticism is a good thing. It helps you improve yourself and refine your skills. Destructive criticism, on the other hand, is useless and serves no good purpose, aside from

hurting your feelings.

Destructive Criticism - What Should You Do?

Even though it's difficult receiving destructive and negative criticism, you should still listen to it. This type of criticism is normally motivated out of someone else's need to feel superior, but there may be a shred of truth in there somewhere.

Try not to take it personally because, chances are, you're not the problem. The person lashing out may be feeling envious or jealous, which colors their opinion.

Destructive criticism tends to be a personal attack. When the heart of an insult or comment is you (rather than something you've done), it is destructive and should be ignored. After all,

no one has the right to determine your self-esteem!

Constructive Criticism - How to Respond Appropriately

Constructive criticism is meant to help you. Listen carefully to what the person is saying. When the speaker is finished, ignore any personal attacks and simply let them know you'll consider

your actions.

Constructive criticism can be useful if it's based on performance or behavior. We don't always see our own behaviors in the same way others do, so listening to others' viewpoints can be helpful.

Constructive criticism usually comes from a place of genuine concern. If the person giving the criticism didn't care about you, they wouldn't offer the criticism in the first place.

If you receive professional constructive criticism from a superior, you should take notes and ask questions. If your boss is giving you constructive criticism about your job performance,

take it to heart.

Your boss is likely speaking from experience and their job is to help you improve and excel. If they're taking time out of their day to offer their insight, it means they value you as an

employee and believe you can do better, so the least you can do is listen.

Types of Constructive Criticism

There are certain expressions you can look for to know you're receiving constructive criticism. If you hear these, then recognize the person is trying to help you rather than attack you. Listen well to these types of criticism, analyze if there is credence to what is being said, and then act on their suggestions.

1. The compliment sandwich. Someone gives you a compliment followed by a suggestion for an area of improvement and then finally, another compliment.

* This tells you that the person sees the good things you do and thinks you can improve further.

2. Encouragement criticism. In this type of constructive criticism, the person is trying to help you do better at something you're already doing fairly well.

* This tells you the person knows you try hard and maybe even wants to help you take it to the next level.

3. Thank you. If the conversation starts with someone thanking you for a job well done, you can be sure that they appreciate your efforts.

* This person usually wants to help you do better because theylike you.

When responding to constructive criticism, you want to be sure to understand where the person is coming from before you say anything. You should always ask them to clarify something if you don't fully understand what they're saying.

When you receive constructive criticism, consider what is being said honestly and objectively. Constructive criticism is all about improving. Unless you accept it from this point of view, it

will be difficult to change your behavior for the better.

The only thing you need to say when receiving constructive criticism is simply "Thank You."

Responding appropriately to criticism shows your maturity and willingness to improve. So swallow your pride, take it in the spirit in which it's offered, and you'll come out on top.

Really hope this helps you, as criticism can certainly be tough to deal with, especially in today's tough economic climate.

Until next time,

Your friend and life coach,

Simon Stanley

Brought to you by: Lawyer Asad

Think And Grow Rich

Here is the full length original First edition video footage published by Napoleon Hill in march 1937 This video is perfectly named Think And Grow Rich which first popularised the Law Of Attraction.


Full length original film of Napoleon Hill on Think And Grow Rich. A must watch for you.

9 Reasons He Avoids Commitment (just for women)

9 Reasons He Avoids Commitment (just for women)

Have you ever been with a guy who seems afraid to 
commit?

Maybe you've dated a guy for years and he just
never seems to want to take things to the next level.

Or perhaps you're married, and while he wears the
ring on his finger ... His heart just hasn't made that
commitment yet and you feel your marriage isn't on
solid ground.

In today's newsletter I'm going to try my best to
shed some light on how the male mind works and why
some men are not ready for commitment.

But first, if you haven't watched this video yet, make
sure you watch it right away:

 Video - Why Men Lose Interest

It's a really accurate and eye-opening short video 
that shows you why men lose interest in women they
once loved, and how to make him LOVE you forever.

Don't miss it.

Now, back to today's newsletter... Why are some men 
scared of commitment?

There are 9 main reasons why your man may not want to
commit to you. Some of these have nothing to do with
you, it's just where he is at in his life. Others 
are things that you are doing, so make sure you pay
close attention.

* You're hinting too aggressively

Men need to feel like commitment is their idea, even
if pressuring them into committing to you works (some
women hint very aggressively until they get engaged), 
this may lead to resentment and lack of REAL commitment
and faithfulness long term.

I've seen some guys date girls for 3+ years, only to 
get engaged to the next one who comes along even though
they've only been dating for 6 months.

Often the next one who comes along is seen as less
'suffocating' due to less commitment pressure. Or it's
simply due to the fact that they are now ready for
commmitment when in the past they were not.

Hinting or talking about commitment once isn't a bad
thing, but if you find yourself doing it week in, week
out, it's likely to be doing more harm than good. You
may simply be with the wrong person if you feel a need
for more commitment right now.

If he wants to commit to you, then allow him to get to
that stage on his own.

* You don't support his ambitions and/or don't make him
feel appreciated enough

Men need their egos stroked, and for him to feel like
you are 'the one' it will help a lot if you can notice
all the good things he does (and his body if you like
it, etc).

It is also incredibly important that you don't try to
change him too much, support him in his dreams, whatever
they may be (starting his own company, travelling the 
world, etc).

It sounds obvious, but there are a lot of women out there
who try to mould their man into the man they wished they
were, rather than supporting them in being the best
version of themselves that they can be.

* He hasn't grown up enough yet.

Men can take a little longer to grow up than women.

It takes a certain amount of maturity to get to the 
point of commitment, and he may not be quite there 
yet. An immature man can rarely consider the wants and 
needs of others above his own.

* The sex isn't good enough

If he has had a partner before with whom with the sex 
was better, or more frequent, this can make him nervous
about committing to you forever.

If you feel that sex isn't important, then that attitude
could well be a reason for lack of long term commitment.

* There's someone else.

Hopefully this isn't the case, but it is possible he has 
someone else on his mind, leaving him confused about 
what kind of future he wants for you and him.

It is also possible he is not over his ex partner, or
doesn't see you as better than them (men want to commit
to the best they've ever had).

* He has other priorities.

He balances out everything- work, family, and friends.

If he feels he's got other areas in his life that 
require more attention, then that will come first and 
he will think of you later. 

* His close friends haven't committed yet.

The majority of men will want to commit eventually. But 
he may not have wanted to be the first one out of his 
group of friends, feeling like he misses out on anything 
with his single friends.

* Loss of free time.

He likes time to himself and to do his own thing. Serious 
relationships take up an enormous amount of time and 
energy and he doesn't want that kind of pressure.

* His history.

When you learn about his past relationships, and his 
childhood ones, then you may understand why he can't commit 
to you.

He could be swearing off new relationships because of pain 
that was caused by a previous breakup. He may need a little 
extra time until he feels safe in his new relationship with 
you.

I hope you found great value in today's newsletter.

Make sure you also watch the video below as soon as possible:

 Video - Why Men Lose Interest

I'm not sure how long this will be online and it's a must
watch short video that shows you why men pull away and how
to be the woman that he'll fall in love with forever.

Yours in Numbers,

Mike Madigan

Circulated by: Lawyer Asad

Top 10 Visionaries Who Experimented With Mind-Altering Drugs

Top 10 Visionaries Who Experimented With Mind-Altering Drugs

 

By Robert T. Gonzalaz / Source: io9.com

Is intelligence related to an increased likelihood of recreational drug use? It's an interesting hypothesis, and one that's been gaining momentum in recent years.

If a definitive link between intellectual capacity and drug use does exist, it will likely be some time before anyone establishes one. Having said that, this much is for certain: history has more than its fair share of experimenting experimentalists. Let's meet 10 of history's most influential scientific and technological visionaries, along with their drugs of choice.

10. Sigmund Freud — Cocaine

To Freud, cocaine was more than a personal indulgence; he regarded it as a veritable wonder drug, and for many years was a huge proponent of its use in a wide array of applications. In a letter written to his fianceé, Martha, Freud wrote: "If all goes well, I will write an essay [on cocaine] and I expect it will win its place in therapeutics by the side of morphine and superior to it... I take very small doses of it regularly against depression and against indigestion and with the most brilliant of success."

Freud published such a review, titled "Uber Coca" in 1884. Interestingly, Freud's paper was one of the first to propose drug substitution as a therapeutic treatment for addiction. While replacing morphine with cocaine is something we now know to be counterproductive to recovery, the concept of substitution therapies persists to this day.

9. Francis Crick — LSD

Francis Crick — of the DNA-structure discovering Watson, Crick, and Franklin — reportedly told numerous friends and colleagues about his LSD experimentation during the time he spent working to determine the molecular structure that houses all life's information.

In fact, in a 2004 interview, Gerrod Harker recalls talking with Dick Kemp — a close friend of Crick's — about LSD use among Cambridge academics, and tells the Daily Mail that the University's researchers often used LSD in small amounts as "a thinking tool." Evidently, Crick at one point told Kemp that he had actually "perceived the double-helix shape while on LSD." [Also read: LSD and the Secret of Life]

8. Thomas Edison — Cocaine Elixers

In 1863, French chemist Angelo Mariani invented "Vin Mariani," a Bordeaux wine treated with coca leaves, the active ingredient of which is none other than cocaine. The ethanol content in the Bordeax could extract cocaine from the coca leaves in concentrations exceeding 7mg per fluid ounce of wine. Thomas Edison — the prolific American inventor and notorious insomniac (though perhaps not surprisingly) — was one of many people of the period known to regularly consume the cocaine-laced elixir.

7. Paul Erdös — Amphetamines

Paul Erdös — well known for his hyperactivity; his habit of working 19-hour days, even well into his old age; and his tendency to show up on his colleagues' doorsteps demanding they ''open their minds'' to mathematical dialogue — was one of the most prolific mathematicians who ever lived, publishing more peer-reviewed papers than any other mathematician in history.

His secret? According to him, amphetamines. Included here is an excerpt from a book published in 1998 by Erdös' de facto biographer, science writer Paul Hoffman, which explains Erdös' proclivity for amphetamine use:

Like all of Erdös's friends, [fellow mathematician Ronald Graham] was concerned about his drug-taking. In 1979, Graham bet Erdös $500 that he couldn't stop taking amphetamines for a month. Erdös accepted the challenge, and went cold turkey for thirty days. After Graham paid up — and wrote the $500 off as a business expense — Erdös said, "You've showed me I'm not an addict. But I didn't get any work done. I'd get up in the morning and stare at a blank piece of paper. I'd have no ideas, just like an ordinary person. You've set mathematics back a month." He promptly resumed taking pills, and mathematics was the better for it.

6. Steve Jobs — LSD

LSD was a big deal for Steve Jobs. How big? Evidently, Jobs believed that experimenting with LSD in the 1960s was "one of the two or three most important things he had done in his life." What's more, he felt that there were parts of him that the people he knew and worked with could not understand, simply because they hadn't had a go at psychedelics. This latter sentiment also comes through in his recently-published biography, wherein Jobs goes so far as to associate what he interpreted as Bill Gates' dearth of imagination with a lack of psychedelic experimentation:

"Bill is basically unimaginative and has never invented anything, which is why I think he's more comfortable now in philanthropy than technology. He just shamelessly ripped off other people's ideas."

"He'd be a broader guy," Jobs says about Gates, "if he had dropped acid once or gone off to an ashram when he was younger."

5. Bill Gates — LSD

Which is funny, because Bill Gates totally did experiment with LSD, though an excerpt from a 1994 interview with Playboy reveals he was much less open about it than Jobs:

PLAYBOY: Ever take LSD?

GATES: My errant youth ended a long time ago.

PLAYBOY: What does that mean?

GATES: That means there were things I did under the age of 25 that I ended up not doing subsequently.

PLAYBOY: One LSD story involved you staring at a table and thinking the corner was going to plunge into your eye.

GATES: [Smiles]

PLAYBOY: Ah, a glimmer of recognition.

GATES: That was on the other side of that boundary. The young mind can deal with certain kinds of gooping around that I don't think at this age I could. I don't think you're as capable of handling lack of sleep or whatever challenges you throw at your body as you get older. However, I never missed a day of work.

4. John C. Lilly — LSD, Ketamine

Neurocientist John C. Lilly was a pioneer in the field of electronic brain stimulation. He was the first person to map pain and pleasure pathways in the brain; founded an entire branch of science exploring interspecies communication between humans, dolphins, and whales; invented the world's first sensory deprivation chamber; and conducted extensive personal experimentation with mind-altering drugs like LSD and ketamine.

It bears mentioning that Lilly's experiments with interspecies communication, personal psychedelic use, and sensory deprivation often overlapped.

3. Richard Feynman — LSD, Marijuana, Ketamine

Feynman was always careful about drug use, for fear of what it might do to his brain — giving up alcohol, for example, when he began to exhibit symptoms of addiction. In Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!, he writes, "You see, I get such fun out of thinking that I don't want to destroy this most pleasant machine that makes life such a big kick. It's the same reason that, later on, I was reluctant to try experiments with LSD in spite of my curiosity about hallucinations."

Nevertheless, Feynman's curiosity got the best of him when he became acquainted with none other than John C. Lilly and his sensory deprivation tanks. Feynman experimented briefly with LSD, ketamine, and marijuana, which he used to bring on isolation-induced hallucinations more quickly than he could when sober.

2. Kary Mullis — LSD

Who, you may be asking, is Kary Mullis? Let's put it this way: If you've worked in a biomedical research lab since the 1980's, there is an exceedingly good chance you've performed a polymerase chain reaction (aka PCR, the lab technique that can turn a single segment of DNA into millions of identical copies), or are at least familiar with it. You have Mullis to thank for that. While Mullis didn't invent the PCR technique, per se, he improved upon it so significantly as to revolutionize the field of biomedical research, securing himself a Nobel Prize in chemistry in the process.

The secret to Mullis' breakthrough? In a September, 1994 issue of California Monthly, Mullis says that he "took plenty of LSD" In the sixties and seventies, going so far as to call his "mind-opening" experimentation with psychedelics "much more important than any courses [he] ever took." A few years later, in an interview for BBC's Psychedelic Science documentary, Mullis mused aloud: "What if I had not taken LSD ever; would I have still invented PCR?" To which he replied, "I don't know. I doubt it. I seriously doubt it."

1. Carl Sagan — Marijuana

Preeminent astrophysicist and cosmologist Carl Sagan not only smoked marijuana regularly, he was also a strong advocate for its use in enhancing intellectual pursuits — though not as publicly as others on this list. Having said that, Sagan did contribute an essay to the 1971 book titled Marijuana Reconsidered that spoke to the virtues of marijuana use. The piece was penned under the assumed name "Mr. X." The identity of its true author was only revealed after Sagan's death.

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

How to Think Like a Genius (Free Demo!)

How to Think Like A Genius Source: The Brain Evolution System Dear Friend, Would you like to learn more about what's being called "the most powerful self-development technology on earth" ... ? Can you imagine a simple self-development tool that can help you think faster and sharper than ever before? DOUBLE your ability to learn. THINK like a genius. RELEASE stress. BREEZE through your studies. UNLOCK hidden talent. SOLVE problems quickly. Well, it's all possible- when you discover the Brain Evolution System. The Brain Evolution System is a powerful, six-CD audio program for helping you master your brain - by literally changing your brainwaves. It works by using special sounds to influence your brainwave patterns, helping to positively change your mood, your focus, your stress levels, your confidence - and much more! You'll find yourself enjoying LIMITLESS ENERGY and MOTIVATION. Your emotional baggage will simply disappear. Your relationships will improve. Your confidence will soar. You'll experience more CREATIVE RUSHES. You'll become immune to worries and tension. And all because you spend just 30 minutes listening to a simple audio recording. Would you like to learn more about what's being called "the most powerful self-development technology on earth" ... ? Download your FREE demo right now! The Brain Evolution System is a series of CDs that can help influence your brainwaves - and thereby change your LIFE. Our exclusive, systemic and highly-tuned six month program is designed to enrich your life with the ability to see things clearer... gain foresight, and a new lease on life... promote relaxation and the inner ability to dissolve stress and tension... improve your thinking, intellectual grasp and understanding and guide your mind toward "whole brain functioning" — to gain ultimate clarity, focus and control in your world. But don't take our word for it. Don't even listen to our members. In fact, before you spend a dime on any entrainment product... hypnosis tape... or another of those time-sucking "self help" books or programs, let me prove to you just how effective the Brain Evolution System™ can be. It sounds incredible. But it's true. And I know, because I use it myself! That's why I'd really like to ENCOURAGE you to learn more about this powerful brainwave system - and to try out the SUPER-RELAXING DEMO for yourself. It won't cost you a SINGLE PENNY to get started - and it will GENUINELY change your life. Get Your FREE Demo of The Exclusive Brain Evolution System Technology here... Enjoy LIMITLESS ENERGY... ROCKET your IQ... enjoy CREATIVE RUSHES... THINK like a genius... SOLVE problems quickly... DOUBLE your ability to learn... RELEASE all stresses... ALL by simply listening for JUST 30 MINUTES a DAY.

How to Talk With Anyone: 9 Lessons From A Shy Dude Who Talked to 1000's of People

How to Talk With Anyone: 9 Lessons From A Shy Dude Who Talked to 1000's of People

By Benjamin Oliver Jenks, 

Author of Shoot The Breeze With Anyone

"Oh… no thanks…" I mumbled as I felt hot blood rise to my cheeks.

"I'm pretty tired…" My excuse trailed off though, because I was concealing a lie. I wasn't tired at all, in fact, I'd slept like a drunken baby last night. But I didn't want to tell the cute brunette girl the truth.

"I'm too shy to go out to the club with you and your friends."

That wouldn't go over so well, right? AND I definitely wouldn't tell her, "I get pretty darn nervous in social situations. It is sort of a problem… AND hanging out with a lady like yourself is definitely one of those situations. It would be awkward for most of the night… unless I got blasted and could slur my words romantically. Then, even tanked, I'd probably hope you made the first move."

Back then, I couldn't talk to anyone.

You know… looking back, it seems perfectly clear why too.

Talking to people is a skill, an art form, and a habit. It takes years to master and is truly understood by few.

But if you can master it, then it makes everything easier… money, friends, sex, laughter, connection, fun, and so much more are your reward, if you can walk up to anyone and blow their hair back with a killer conversation.

Learning to talk to anyone is the most valuable skill an adventurer can cultivate.

So… how are your 'Shooting The Breeze' skillzzz?

If they can be improved, then you are like most people. If you want to improve them and are willing to put in the time, then I commend you. It will pay off and it can even teach you a vital lesson that can change your life. I wrote this article specifically for you.

Talking to people doesn't have to be terrifying. If this shy guy (ME) can go out and talk to thousands of people, then so can you.

Quick Story: How I Talked To Thousands Of People In A Few Months.

I was on a mission.

I was hitch-hiking across the USA and I wanted to take pictures with 1000 people. I'd been hitchhiking around the USA for 9 months and I was feeling so much love from people. Things could have went terribly wrong and I was so grateful they didn't. I wanted to show the side of humanity that I saw.

So… of course, I wanted to make a viral video to show the world.

But as I stood on street corners, in restaurant parking lots, near tourist hot spots, and anywhere with people… I asked thousands of people, "Do you want to be in a Movie?"

Some said, Yes. A lot said, No.

The Point Of My Quick Story: I learned to talk to anyone… by talking to thousands of people.

If you genuinely want to learn to talk to anyone, then start talking to people today. Below are 9 lessons to make your practice easier.

But first… shyness is like an STD.

A lot of people have them, but no one comes right out and tells you. :/

50% of people are shy in certain situations and 90% of people have been shy before. A lot of people don't appear shy, but inside they get just as nervous as you.

"Shyness is a universal human experience," explains psychologist F. Ishu Ishiyama, of the University of British Columbia. It goes beyond humans. 20% of Rhesus monkeys are shy.

So let yourself be shy. Relax and accept it. Read this post, Why You Are Shy? for more information. This will set yourup for the following 9 Talk To Anyone Lessons.

Here Are 9 Lessons To Get You Started Talking To Anyone:

1. Find Your Definition.

Your Definition is your core meaning in the world.

It is what you are good at and what you love to do. Some call it your passion, your life purpose, or your calling. Do you know what your definition is?

When you know what defines you, then talking comes easier.

For me, I can't talk to anyone about ancient Greek literature or cellular biology. They aren't my definition… they don't excite me. But I can talk forever about the subjects that define me.

• When I hang out with other Couchsurfers, I can swap adventure stories forever.

• When I'm with video dudes, I can talk about frame rates, time lapses, and Youtube views all night.

• When I'm Skyping with other personal development bloggers, we can rap all day about life lessons, growth, risk, challenges, sex, and personal experiences.

It is so easy to talk with these people, because we speak the same language. We get the same things and we both enjoy the conversation. We have similar definitions and we harness that energy to connect with each other.

Maybe if you don't have much to say, because you aren't doing activities that define you. Maybe you don't know what your definition even is and you feel lost, unfocused, and out of place. Maybe you aren't proud of your life, so what is there to talk about?

 

2. Find Your People.

If you know what defines you… then you can seek out people who share your interests.

While talking to anyone is your goal, the root goal is to Find Your People. Your People nourish you, support you, inspire you, and challenge you to push yourself further. These are people you connect with on a deeper level. They share your core values, interests, hobbies, and lifestyle.

When you have found Your People, socializing with everyone will be easier. You will be more confident. You will feel a place, so you won't feel the need to fill every place. You will be able to sense if someone isn't a good fit for you. Then you just talk to someone else without taking it personally.

Find your people by:

• Joining a Meet-up group.

• Going to a Couchsurfing meet-up.

• Online dating.

• Meeting people using Reddit.com.

• Looking through events in your local calendar.

• Joining a class based on your interest.

 

3. Boring Conversations Rule.

Most intelligent people despise small talk.

It's boring, right? But it does serve an important purpose. Small talk is the gateway to Huge Talk. Small talk is the boring conversation that let's us feel comfortable around another person, so we can open up more personally. You don't need fantastically interesting conversations starters either. It doesn't really matter what you say, just as long as you start talking.

Boring conversations rule… so just ask something that is completely cliched:

A. The Weather: "Great day today, eh?" or "This rain sure sucks."

B. Ask for Directions: "Excuse me, could you help me find (some place in the town)?"

C. Your Surroundings: "What is with the huge sign on that restaurant over there? Have you ever been there?" or "These roads sure have a lot of potholes!"

D. Notice A Detail: "Cool shoes!" or "My friend has the same shirt."

E. Get The time: "Excuse me… do you have the time?"

***Extra Sauce: Take your conversation to a more personal (and fulfilling) level by then sharing something about yourself. It doesn't have to be monumental… "I'm out book shopping for my sister," or "I got caught in the rain yesterday and got soaked," This will encourage your conversation partner to share too.

 

4. Wear A Conversation Magnet.

Why approach people… when you can get them to come up to you?

I used this strategy as I hitch hiked. I wore my own eye-catching uniform to stand out. With a red, white, and blue headband, a huge backpack, and a t-shirt reading, I Love People, I did not blend in. So a lot of people came up to me to ask what I was doing. But you don't need to go to this extreme…

Just wear one thing that stands out.

Wear bright red shoes. Knit yourself a sweater with a portrait of you on it. Make a purse out of alligator skin. You could even grow out your hair and beard, so people think you look like Charles Manson (3 un-related people have mentioned I bear a resemblance to him).

Give people something to talk about.

5. Stand Tall

 

If you have non-confident body language, then your mind thinks you are unconfident. On the other hand, if you act confident, then you will believe you are confident. Psychologists call this… Cognitive Consistency.

"An upright posture makes people feel dominant and successful, which in turn improves their ability to relax and focus on problems," says Tomi Ann Roberts Ph.D.  the lead author in a study by Colorado College. They found that sitting up straight improved the students test scores and their feelings of confidence.

When you feel confident, you can focus on the conversation at hand and engage your partner.

 

6. Get Warmed Up.

The biggest problem most shy people face is that their brain is yelling so many negative thoughts at them that it is really challenging to say anything.

Your angry, insecure brain says…

• "Those shoes you are wearing make your ankles look like loaves of sour dough!"

• "Everything you say is ridiculous, stupid, and worded like a 5 year old!"

• "No one will want to talk to you… because you only ever do the most boring shit in the entire world!"

All of these are lies, of course, but your brain might be able to convince you, if you are feeling vulnerable.

To get control of your brain…

Practice socializing in situations that don't matter. Before a sizzlin' date have a conversation with a friend of yours. Before you go out, talk to someone you can joke around with. Get your Social Flow going. Talk to random people you meet. Talk to the door guy and the bartender. Just a few words will improve your mood and take pressure off your brain.

 

7. Create A Unique Conversation System.

Do you know a guy, who always has something interesting to say?

An old friend of mine would always be sharing stories about hypnotizing, squirting female orgasms, climbing trees, and doing magic tricks. He understood a number of different topics and they were all interesting. He would captivate people at parties and have plenty of people coming to talk to him.

How does he do it?

He is a naturally curious guy, who does a lot of research about stuff. He likes learning, he seeks it out, and he goes deeper than the normal guy, who Googles something and reads the first article that pops up.

What if you could create a Unique Conversation System? This is my method for having a continuous flow of interesting conversations always in my mind.

Try this now:

1. Write down 5 topics you have always been interested in.

2. Do an Internet search for each of the topics. Add the word, 'Blog' or 'Website.'

3. Find 1 interesting website about each of your topics. Sign up to receive emails from it, follow them on Twitter, or  "Like" them on Facebook.

4. Then watch your emails, Tweets, and your Stream for Conversation Gold.

5. Keep a separate word document and copy down the best ideas.

6. Review your Conversation Gold list often, especially before you go out socializing.

 

8. Be Judgemental.

Most shy people view themselves through other's eyes.

They are always wondering what other people think of them. Their mental camera is turned around on themselves and not out at the world.

Leila Lowndes, author of Goodbye to Shy, describes a healthy way of viewing the world.

Imagine you are happily settled in your seat munching popcorn at the movies. You are captivated by the characters on the big screen. You pass judgement on which ones you like and which ones you don't.

You hope the good guy gets the girl and the bad one gets the boot. You aren't thinking about yourself. You don't obsess about what they think of you.

You are observing them. You are comfortably inside your body looking out."

Psychologists call this way of viewing the world, an Observer's Perspective.

You don't over analyse how other's view you. You don't pick apart every aspect of the way you said a phrase.

Instead, you look out at the world and judge it as an observer would. You notice that Tom spilled ketchup on his shirt, Suzie talks way too much, and Edwardo took the last hotdog, even though you wanted it.

Practice judging other people… and you might find it much easier to talk to them.

 

9. Listen, Listen, Listen.

"You don't have to be interesting. You have to be interested," says John Gottman, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Washington. "That is how you have conversations."

If you are genuinely curious about other people's story, then they will love you.

When I meet people hitch hiking, I rarely shared the stories that I gathered from the road. Most of the time, I asked a lot of questions and encouraged the other person to talk about their passions.

Try these tips to listen encouragingly:

• Ask questions like What, Where, When, Why, and How?

• Encourage with Tiny Words like Aha, Oh, Okay, and Uh-huh.

• Figure out their Gem of Conversation: This is their burning passion that they could talk about forever.

• If you don't have anything to say: Listen, make eye contact, smile, and nod.

Extra Tip: Keep practising.

Learning to talk to anyone is basically building a new habit.

You won't be able to do it in a day and it will be challenging. But shoot to make progress every day and you will overcome it.

Challenge yourself to talk to people every day.

 

Edited by: Lawyer Asad

The Practical Benefits of Outrageous Optimism

The Practical Benefits of Outrageous Optimism

By Mr. Money Moustache

If you ask me, everything is pretty fucking great these days.

Your life and my life are both going to continue to increase in awesomeness over time.

We are likely to have exceptional fortune and health throughout our days, we'll help to change some lives for the better, our kids are going to turn out loving and great, and we will die with a broad smile across our rugged and weather-worn faces somewhere around the age of a hundred and twenty two.

Oh sure, there will be the odd problem and catastrophe along the way, but they will just serve as recharging jolts to keep us from getting complacent. More problems to solve, more learning to do, and deeper happiness to attain.

On top of that, the human race is bound for an ever-better fate, ironing out most of its current problems and most of the problems that follow in the future, ending up at a tantalizing Star Trek Utopia.

Those are pretty controversial statements to make these days, yet strangely enough the general theme tends to become true, for the few people who are crazy enough to believe it.

And most of us don't believe it. In fact, many of us end up going completely the opposite way. One of the problems with being a clever and analytical person like yourself, is that you've become very good at seeing what might go wrong. You can see the risks inherent in any enterprise, and if you've got enough Cliff Claven in you, you might even be fond of expounding about those risks to anyone around who will listen.

There are even people make whole careers of this. Fear-mongering in general tends to make you sound smart, and fearful people get a quirky sort of reassurance by snuggling up to a fearful leader, and confidently predicting the worst possible outcome. Dmitri Orlov gets lots of attention by continuously foretelling the complete collapse of the United States. A favourite technique of Collapse theorists is to sit at the news screen, interpreting each development of still further evidence of their theory. "Oh.. now the politicians are arguing. Sure sign of collapse. National debt is growing.. collapse. Oil consumption rising faster than supply.. just as I predicted, ''twas foretold, ''twas foretold.

Are You a Personal Collapse Theorist?

The same methods can be applied by a Personal Collapse Theorist. "Oh man, this job is stressing me out. My department is going down the shitter, and we'll be the first ones on the chopping block when the next round of layoffs comes. And it will be coming SOON! … And the thing is, in THIS ECONOMY, I need to hold onto my job because there are no other ones out there. Not in my field, anyway. All this is really taking a toll on my health. I've got bad knees and back, and they really flare up when I am stressed. So they are getting worse every day, which makes me even more stressed, which makes me even worse at my job, which makes me even more likely to get laid off, which..."

Whew, it hurt my fingers even to type that paragraph above, even though it was all completely made up. But it hurts because it's true – some people actually say things like that on a regular basis. And every time I hear it, I feel like grasping the person's head between my hands and shaking it while I say, "Wake up, Dude! You're doing more than just discussing your situation right now.. You're creating your own reality!"

Let's contrast the life of the Personal Collapse person to the fate of a really lucky person. You probably know at least one person that is just so lucky that they annoy you. The person has a better job than you, always seems to get promotions, has cooler friends, and maybe even a more attractive spouse and a greener lawn. Some even accuse plain old Mr. Money Mustache of being annoying for the same reason, "Oh, enough from you Mustache. You retired early and then things seem to keep going well for you. You're making it all up, or if you're not, it's just luck and it can't be applied to me".

Fair enough. Let's stop the fakeypants Fresh-From-the-Tanning-Salon-Self-Help-Guru spiel right now. We're all scientists here, so we can acknowledge that luck, or the partially random distribution of life situations, does indeed play a part in how a person's life turns out. There's the genetic lottery, where each person gets different abilities directly from their parents, then there is upbringing, family, location, and pure random events supplied by the outside world. It's bound to create a very diverse set of results, right?

But if you've ever been to a bar and watched a less-attractive friend have far greater success in attracting mates, or worked in an office where you notice that many of the people in highly paid senior positions are less competent and intelligent than yourself, you know there is something fishy about the theory that luck and birthright alone deliver our fate.

 

The Secret Weapon of Optimism

And that's where we get to secret weapon of Optimism that I've brought to you today.

I'm hefting a stainless steel case onto the table and undoing the latches for you for you now. It's lined with black velvet and as I open it up, both of our faces light up with golden light, just like when they opened Marsalis Wallace's Briefcase in Pulp fiction. Inside is a very smooth, very polished tool that looks like it was crafted by an advanced alien race. It is made of gold and silver materials, with a sculpted handle and cobalt blue trigger. It's your new Optimism Gun.

But what good is fictional asset like an Optimism Gun when we're trying to accomplish things here in the real world? The answer is a Hell of a lot of good, because in this world full of humans, almost all of our "reality" is created in our own heads.

Is money real? No, it's just a shared understanding among all of us that we agree to store value in nontangible forms. What about Gold, that's more real than money, right? Nope – offer a pile of gold coins and a nice chunk of meat to a dog, and see which one he chooses.

Fame, fortune, the respect of others, or a job as President of the United States? Just chemical patterns stored in the minds of a bunch of other humans. Even physical problems, like immediately cutting human carbon emissions by 75% to reduce climate change or eliminating poverty in all poor countries, are things that could be solved within months, just by altering patterns in a bunch of human minds. And as it turns out, the human mind is exactly the target of the Optimism Gun.

But does it really work? I found my own Gun about 21 years ago and I have certainly found it effective whenever I had the courage to apply it. It has helped me get an offer for every job I have ever applied to, earn and save more money than the pessimists assumed possible, have a very nice family life, and be generally happy every day, as I'm sure you've heard more than enough.

I also secretly use the OG in this blog (in fact, I'm writing this post with the bluetooth keyboard that was supplied with the device). And I'd argue that it is working here too, evidenced by the ridiculous spread of Mustachianism to date (now they're even thinking of making a big TV show out of it!).

Because which is more likely: a software engineer who didn't even take an English class in university just happens to be the most amazing writer in the world with the most useful financial ideas as well? Or that the blog just makes people feel good about their lives because it is much more optimistic than other writing on the topic, and this motivates them to try some new things?

Here's Why Optimism Works

There are several psychological principles at work that make all this work on a practical level:

Humans are automatically drawn to Leaders: Most people just want to hang back with the crowd and shy away from pressure of standing out. As soon as somebody stands on the box and picks up the conch, people start listening. If you dare to express optimism about anything, you're stepping onto a little soapbox, and it gets attention.

People want it to be true: If you've become a small-time leader and you deliver the Good Word, people will naturally want to keep listening, because you help them feel good about things too.

Optimism tricks you into trying more things: If you believe success is almost guaranteed, you're going to try some pretty fun ventures. In reality, sure, you fail at some things, but what do they always tell us is the best teacher? That's right, it's failure. So you end up racking up much more hard-earned experience and knowledge than the non-optimist. Then what do you do with all that extra knowledge? You succeed. Meanwhile, everyone else is still hesitating to try the first thing.

You are forced not to focus on things you can't control: One of the most useful lessons of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is that you never worry about stuff you cannot control. You just work on the things you can. As an example, I never watch the political debates or follow the polls for next month's presidential election. That doesn't help me at all! Instead, I just read the descriptions of the policies each candidate plans to put into place, evaluate those against my best guess at their long-term effects on the success of the world in general (not just based on my own situation), then send in my mail-in ballot long before the election day. Then I can be optimistic because I've had my full say by voting, and I have hundreds of hours freed up to accomplish other things while the pessimists are still watching TV and worrying about the election!

Acknowledge and Bow Down to the Placebo Effect: When it comes to health and well-being, the mind controls the body way more than rational people like to admit. This isn't just new-age medicine – the very thought of taking medicine that makes people better, has a statistically significant effect on the outcome of medical tests. It is so real, that scientists have to adjust for it by giving people fake pills, which make them better, in order to see if the real pills do even more than the fake ones.

I enjoy hacking this fact this to control my own health. I have a permanent belief that I am unusually healthy, and that this condition will persist forever. Even when I get sick, I look at it as a very temporary anomaly, always assuming I'll be back to full health by the next day. It usually proves to be true. Not only am I overdosing on the placebo effect, but these assumptions lead me to do the deliberate things one would do if one were preparing for a healthy 122-year lifespan as well. And on top of all this, the optimism is limiting the release of the human stress hormone Cortisol, which tends to destroy health. The less you worry about health, the healthier you become.

Optimism is rare, and deadly when combined with competence: If you're a smart guy or gal at your workplace, the other smart people are expecting you to be pessimistic, just like them. You can sit at the lunch table, discussing the chronic failures of management or the critically flawed design of the product you're all working on. But once you've proven your pessimism/realism chops and are respected by the gang, then you gradually start playing some tricks. You can slip in ideas like "Well, this project might actually turn out OK... all we have to do is rewrite the Flange module from scratch and then get Schmidt to let us use it in Release 2.0. I'm pretty sure I can do that." Your coworkers will be fooled into thinking that they really can do those things, which they wouldn't have otherwise tried. As noted in point #3, these things occasionally work, and as you hone your skills at tricking people into succeeding, you find yourself increasingly being sought after for CEO positions.

So there you have it, from the perspective of both the motivational speaker, and the engineer. This stuff really works on other people and on ourselves, and it's the source of most of the "luck" we experience in our lifetimes.

So the only remaining barrier is: are you daring enough to begin this journey by turning the Optimism Gun on Yourself?

Edited by: Lawyer Asad